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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed about the stickers?

269 replies

NerdySnoozer · 12/02/2026 20:48

DS7 is in Primary 2 (equivalent of year 1) and his school has a toothbrushing lady to help the children brush their teeth after lunch.
The tooth brush lady has been handing out stickers once a week to all the children. Today my son has come home very upset as he was told he won’t be getting a sticker this week as he didn’t want to brush his teeth today. (He’s a bit reluctant at home too, but we manage. )Messaged teacher for more info, apparently about once a week he decides he’d prefer to not to brush. He’s not the best at speaking up so sometimes will just pretend he hasn’t heard and ignore instructions. The lady got annoyed today and said if he didn’t come to do them, he wouldn’t be allowed a sticker on Friday. Class teacher doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem, says the lady supplies her own stickers and prizes and isn’t employed by the school, just visits as part of her job. She can’t tell her who to give stickers to and doesn’t want to ask her not to give them out at all. Got the impression that the teacher thinks the children shouldn’t have any choice in the matter and need to comply or be punished. Normally I’d just leave it as school is school and just support at home but I’m finding myself really annoyed about it. DH thinks I’m upset over nothing and am probably just hormonal and if I’m that bothered I can withdraw consent for him to brush at school.
Am I unreasonable to think the bloody stickers just shouldn’t be used as a punisment?

OP posts:
Mulledjuice · 12/02/2026 20:49

Where is the punishment?

greencheetah · 12/02/2026 20:49

The stickers aren’t being used as punishment. They are being used as reward.

CousinBette · 12/02/2026 20:50

Tell him to brush his teeth and he’ll get a sticker.

Easy

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 12/02/2026 20:50

Okay a what now? A tooth brushing lady? What the actual fuck!

But to answer your question, you’re being unreasonable. He ain’t brushing his teeth, he ain’t getting a sticker.

Stickers are shit anyway. Once they’re past the age of 3.

Wakemeupinapril · 12/02/2026 20:50

But surely it's as simple as he brushes he gets a sticker? ... Teeth brushing isn't optional...
Why don't you agree with that?

cestlavielife · 12/02/2026 20:51

It s not a punishment
It s a reward if you brush every day
He decides not to brush he is making choice
More teeth brushung can only be a good thing

PinkPomeloFruit · 12/02/2026 20:52

Wtf are you on about?

NeedSleepNowww · 12/02/2026 20:52

He gets a sticker for brushing his teeth.

He didn’t brush his teeth.

What’s the issue? I’m struggling to see one.

CuppaTandBicky · 12/02/2026 20:52

Sorry I don't see the problem with that at all. If they get a sticker for brushing their teeth and he chooses not to surely thats just a logical, natural consequence of his action?
I don't get the problem?

MyTwoSense · 12/02/2026 20:52

They're not a punishment, they're a reward/incentive. If he doesn't do the thing she's awarding/incentivising then he doesn't get the sticker 🤷‍♀️

ManchesterGirl2 · 12/02/2026 20:52

Why should he get a sticker for brushing his teeth if he doesn't brush his teeth?

JustAnotherWhinger · 12/02/2026 20:53

Kids brushing their teeth an extra time in school get a sticker.

Tell him he doesn’t have to brush an extra time if he doesn’t want to (it’s not necessary for kids that do brush at home), but the sticker is the reward for brushing teeth at school. So no brushing = no sticker.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 12/02/2026 20:55

Did she really get annoyed, though?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/02/2026 20:56

This is silly OP, he would have gotten a sticker if he brushed his teeth, he didn’t brush them so he doesn’t get a sticker, totally understandable. What’s daft is you speaking to the teacher about it trying to get him a sticker he didn’t earn, why would you even do that?

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/02/2026 20:57

YABU. And so is your husband for calling you hormonal. You’re just unreasonable.

Jinglejinglejingle7 · 12/02/2026 20:57

Honestly you might in the future have issues with the school. Him not getting a sticker as a reward for something he chose not to do its an issue. Support the school- he understands and made his choice.

Odditea · 12/02/2026 20:57

The point is he gets a sticker if he brushes his teeth. He didn’t brush his teeth. What would be the point of giving out stickers?

malmi · 12/02/2026 20:57

maybe you could make your own sticker for him that celebrates his right to self determination on matters of oral hygiene

Barrellturn · 12/02/2026 20:58

I have never heard of a visiting tooth brush lady.

What other types of people visit schools? The visiting shoe lace tying people?

LadyCrustybread · 12/02/2026 20:58

Well yes… why would he get a sticker for fulfilling a task (brushing everyday) when he doesn’t fulfil the task? What would he get the sticker for.. being petulant and ignoring the lady?

The lack of sticker isn’t a punishment it’s that the giving of the sticker is a reward. You need to toughen up.

likelysuspect · 12/02/2026 20:58

YABU of course

But off tangent, I thought I read that you shouldnt clean your teeth straight after eating, you should wait a bit or something? Have I got that the wrong way round?

HootyMcB00b · 12/02/2026 20:59

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 12/02/2026 20:50

Okay a what now? A tooth brushing lady? What the actual fuck!

But to answer your question, you’re being unreasonable. He ain’t brushing his teeth, he ain’t getting a sticker.

Stickers are shit anyway. Once they’re past the age of 3.

It's a health promotion initiative for children.

ImADelightActually · 12/02/2026 20:59

The stickers are not being used as punishment though. They’re being used as a motivator/reward for completing an important task.

I understand why your child is upset if he’s not getting one, and it can be hard to see your child upset. I imagine it’s some kind protective instinct that’s driving you to want to take away the source of what’s upsetting him, that energy might be better used in teaching him how to cope with his feelings and working through it instead of fighting the school.

BlackCat14 · 12/02/2026 20:59

Don’t be that parent.
The children get a sticker for brushing their teeth. Your child wouldn’t brush his teeth. So he didn’t get a sticker.
What is your problem? What are you complaining about about?
Also the stickers aren’t being used as a punishment. They are being used as a reward. For the children who earn them.

thistimelastweek · 12/02/2026 20:59

I'd be more annoyed if he gets fillings because he hasn't learned to brush his teeth.

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