To be annoyed about the stickers?

[NerdySnoozer]

DS7 is in Primary 2 (equivalent of year 1) and his school has a toothbrushing lady to help the children brush their teeth after lunch.
The tooth brush lady has been handing out stickers once a week to all the children. Today my son has come home very upset as he was told he won’t be getting a sticker this week as he didn’t want to brush his teeth today. (He’s a bit reluctant at home too, but we manage. )Messaged teacher for more info, apparently about once a week he decides he’d prefer to not to brush. He’s not the best at speaking up so sometimes will just pretend he hasn’t heard and ignore instructions. The lady got annoyed today and said if he didn’t come to do them, he wouldn’t be allowed a sticker on Friday. Class teacher doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem, says the lady supplies her own stickers and prizes and isn’t employed by the school, just visits as part of her job. She can’t tell her who to give stickers to and doesn’t want to ask her not to give them out at all. Got the impression that the teacher thinks the children shouldn’t have any choice in the matter and need to comply or be punished. Normally I’d just leave it as school is school and just support at home but I’m finding myself really annoyed about it. DH thinks I’m upset over nothing and am probably just hormonal and if I’m that bothered I can withdraw consent for him to brush at school.
Am I unreasonable to think the bloody stickers just shouldn’t be used as a punisment?

Hadn’t considered the toothpaste. Could be, I’ll ask DS tomorrow. We use strawberry flavoured at home. I know they let the fluoride free parents provide their own paste so I could always send in a tube to see if that helps.
He could just not want to stop what he’s doing to go and brush though, especially if some days he will and others won’t.

Yeah - all those 7 year olds we could rely on in the past to fight for their country will want stickers for doing it now.

In fact I liked the idea so much, I thought I would make the sticker

At least you gave your husband a giggle!

Let it go. Of all the things to get het up about. It’s ok for kids to feel upset, it passes quickly!

your son didn't do as he is told and expects to be rewarded anyway. Life doesn't work that way kiddo.
Try harder next week!

You admit your son is stubborn and pretends he does not hear when its something he doesnit want to comply with. So he misses out. Tough titty. He needs to learn to fit in and you to stop helecoptering or he will grow up spineless and a whiner.

Is it the childsmile scheme?
https://www.childsmile.nhs.scot/parents-carers/childsmile-at-nursery-and-school/

I know my kids used to get free toothpaste and a toothbrush from the nursery

Is that you, DH?
😂
You sound just like my husband, who is, incidentally, very ginger.
You may well be right. I’m having to own up to this being a non-issue and I’m a melodramatic twat tonight.
I’d delete the post but DH wants to show his dad tomorrow 😳😂

It makes sense - the sticker is the incentive to encourage them to brush their teeth. It's like a reward star chart and you only get it if you do that thing.

Yes, that’s the one!

Fair play to you. 👏👏👏

Its very refeshing to see someone posting on here who comes back and holds their hands up and say ‘yes, I probably got this one wrong’.

Even more so that you are going to apologise to the teacher. It’s a bloody hard job being a teacher (as us parents can be a bit precious with our kids at times). I’ll guarantee that the teacher and the rest of the team would very much welcome some cake for the staff room.

Fair play OP.

Not getting a sticker isn't a punishment, it is a consequence.

If it’s a weekly thing, it will be a great opportunity to remind him after half term that if he does it all week he will get to choose a sticker - and if not, not! Then he can exercise his right to choose but with full understanding (and experience) of the consequences. I bet he’ll feel quite grown up about it!

Im absolutely shocked (not at you, OP) that this is necessary in schools; how on earth are kids not learning this at home?

Tell him :

If you want a sticker from school - you need to brush your teeth every day at school.

if you do not brush your teeth every day at school - you will not get a sticker.

And repeat over and over….

ultimately then it is his choice.

sooner he learns that action or inactions have consequences - the better

our current generation of kids are so entitled and need to learn basic cause and effect ; actions / inactions have consequences.

pandering to them and giving them ‘rewards’ for no effort is not helping this generation and is helping to bring up a generation of kids who are so entitled as to what their ‘rights’ are but no sense of what their responsibilities are.

Great responses OP. 😂

Also, I wonder how you get a job as a toothbrushing lady…

This sort of thing is why I’m leaving teaching after 14 years.

I feel very sorry for P1 teachers in Scotland.

We've also had ScotGov saying that they expect schools to 'support parents' in toilet training their children - no, not just those with additional support needs - and I've heard some horror stories from primary colleagues about pupils refusing to sit at dinner tables, screaming when asked to use cutlery etc.

You sound a lovely thoughtful reflective parent 💐💐💐

Actually discussing calmly on here is a rare treat. You deserve a sticker!! ☀️⭐️🌟⭐️🌟🌟⭐️

smiles in pension age

I’d be more concerned about the toothbrush!
Do the children all take their own toothbrush into school ? Hopefully they’re not all sharing?

Good updates though. Well done, OP, for reflecting and not sending an 8-page ChatGPT generated email to Ofsted, the TRA, the DfE, your local MP and the LADO.

Last day before half term tomorrow so will buy cake for the staff room as acknowledgment of twatishness.

Dare you to send it in with a card saying 'don't forget to brush your teeth!' 😉

Am shocked there is a tooth brushing lady.
they won’t need parents at all soon with how primary schools in England are going! Honestly is there no area they trust parents anymore

Respect to OP for owning her mistake and apologising to the school. 👏😍