DS’s dad cut his hair without asking me

[Minimelanie]

me and DS’s dad are separated. Never married. He works full time and has his son on the weekends.
we agreed a hair cut when DS started school and he paid. I told him how I wanted it to be and it turned out ok although I do prefer longer hair on him.
the cut was a mid length shaggy cut. I now want DS to grow his hair long again so I told ex’s partner I want it to be left to grow (me and ex communicate by email or I pass messages to his partner).
she dropped DS back last week and he’s cut his hair into a crew cut without asking me.

Am I right to feel annoyed that he should have asked me? DS is in first year of school.

Why does your view trump your ex’s?

At the end of the day if your DS wanted his hair cut, why can’t he?

It’s your child’s hair. If the style doesn’t break school rules he should be able to choose how he wants it.

Kindly; you are being ridiculous.

Your son is already being bullied, by you.

You are trying to impose on him a hair style he doesn't want. That is bullying.

What nonsense! The one who should have the most say is your son. You do sound quite controlling here

You are being massively unreasonable! Your childs told you he doesnt like it - why would you not listen to him? At least his dad is listening!

at 5 years old kids are absolutely savage

Exactly.

No. You are completely wrong on this. Your son wants shorter hair and is facing bullying. That’s all that matters here.

no. your son said he didn't like it and you ignored. his dad did not. yabu

Does the Father have parental rights, if so he has just as much say as you and from the sounds of it, he was guided by your sons desire to have a short hairstyle so I think you are being unfair to your son and ex partner in this respect. It should have been your sons welfare first and not your fashion desires.

If the Father does not have parental rights i.e is not on the birth certificate) then he is on sticky ground but morally he acted in the best interests of your son.

YABU.

The little guy must be relieved to have one parent who listens to him about his hair.

Way to go dad!! He has listened to his son 👏 unlike mummy who appears to prefer her son being bullied than giving dad any credit.

So you disbelieved what he was saying about being bullied and ignored his wishes. 🧐

Of all the ridiculous things to find fault with in a co-parent, getting your child’s hair cut HOW YOUR CHILD WANTS IT is one of the more ludicrous things I’ve read on here. He’s a little person with his own wishes, not a dolly for you to style how you like.

YABVU.

I wasn't allowed to have my hair how I wanted it when I was at school, and I got bullied about my hair from a very young age.
It may have been that the bullies would have found something else, but it's also possible I just wouldn't have stood out would have never been a target if I hadn't been forced to have it how it was.

Listen to your son - he's the only person who should get to choose his own hair length and style.

Thats not bullying, thats stupid things that kids say

But bottom line is he wanted it shorter, theres no reason to keep it longer other than your choice, so I suppose dad listened to that

When you and a co parent want different things, one of you isnt going to get their way, there isnt really a compromise possible when you both want different things.

He has the right to have his hair cut as do you.

Oh stop it OP, this must be a rage bait

You’re both his parents. Your DS has told you he doesn’t like the long hair, surely his opinion counts more than yours on his own hair?

OMG, can you hear yourself? Your son, even at 5 yo, should decide how he wants his hair!

YABVVVU

YABVU. Your son doesn’t want the long hair you want him to have, so his dad took him to get it cut. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with either parent taking the child for a haircut irrespective, as long as it aligns with what the child wants. Seems dad listens but mum does not, and the child will likely gravitate more towards a parent that listens to them.

That's not true though, sadly. Listen to him.

You should reflect on this.

Oh Right, well fuck how your son feels about his own hair, as long as you get what you want and get to ‘win’ over your ex I guess.

YABU, sorry. Both because your son said he wanted short hair, and because I don't think either parent should have to ask 'permission' of the other to get his hair cut regardless of who he spends more time with.

(Obviously if he was dying it or getting it cut in a style your son actively didn't want that's different, I'd expect a conversation. But a haircut he wants? Not something he needed to ask you, IMO. The boy wanted his hair cutting, his dad got it cut.)