Oblivious School Mum

[OverheardBreakup]

Could really use some advice as I’m trying to be tactful!

DS in year 1. I drop him off every morning at breakfast club at around 8ish. Last week we bumped into another classmate and his mum and the boys went into school together. The mum confided in me that her son ‘Simon’ had only recently started breakfast club and wasn’t enjoying it but he seemed to not be so upset going in with DS

The next day we bumped into them again and the boys went in together. Mum told me Simon hadn’t got upset that morning and was pleased to bump into my DS.

That evening DS told me he’d rather go in alone, he doesn’t really like Simon as he can be quite rough in the playground and he likes the chats we have on our walk in. So the next morning I purposefully left 15 mins later to go in.

Mum and Simon were stood waiting for us! Mum said she thought we’d never show up and was worried DS wasn’t coming in. Then suggested I use the class WhatsApp to let her know if we’re running late so they can adjust their timings too! I was a bit taken aback and said I have younger DS to drop off too so can’t guarantee what time I’ll be there. She said not to worry, they’d wait for us.

Last night I had an upset DS who is now saying HE doesn’t want to go to breakfast club as hates going in with Simon.

So I sent a message to the mum essentially saying while I appreciate Simon is struggling, we use our time walking to breakfast club as a bit of a mum/son chat and wondered if perhaps there were other class children who might want to walk in with Simon.

Cue message back saying how much Simon loves DS and she doesn’t think that’s necessary and perhaps I could park further away to have a little chat before we get to the bit where they’re waiting for us!! I explained I needed to get off to work straight after so that wasn’t possible. Didn’t get a reply.

Anyway, this morning they are there waiting again. I can feel DS tense up. I say good morning and go to walk past but Simon rushes after DS. Mum says loudly ‘now Simon, let them have their chats first and they then hover two steps behind us.

She unfortunately then went into the school office so I didn’t have a chance to speak to her but I’m now not sure what to do.

My DS has gone from a very happy boy skipping to school to dreading drop offs every morning.

Now, here’s the kicker…I am VERY concerned about keeping things polite as she is the head teachers wife and Simon is their son. She has form for kicking off at another class parent and I really don’t want to create an atmosphere at the school!

This has just been a forty page long pity party.

You are hilarious. You have made me giggle through my thread so thank you

The issue is that Simon is eating really quickly then making the OP’s son go with him to the library before he gets anything to eat, @scottishgirl69.

Yes! Me too.

And you’ve posted more than ANY other poster so I think that means you win 🥇

Crossed post OP..
I think it was a good idea to take the temperature and ignore the WhatsApp...

It's not on that he's stopping your DS from eating his breakfast poor boy and good that you've mentioned that to the club.

Hopefully this will die down and you can enjoy your walks again.

I love you.

ODFOD

Most breakfast clubs don’t allow the kids to wander the school at will, they’ll be in a particular room or hall until the bell goes, mainly because there will be limited staff on the premises?
That’s really peculiar if it’s actually allowed to happen.

Another one Team Mountain Out of a Molehill.
When are our children going to learn manners, empathy and compromise if their parents are snowploughing ahead getting rid of every little thing that might make them uncomfortable?
It would not have even entered my head to make such a deal of this. I would have rolled my eyes at my son when this boy trotted up every morning. Sometimes you have to do things that you are not 100% happy about, that's life - and that's what school is all about.

It’s the new “Cancel the cheque”. 😂

Seconded.
I would be your friend in real life

Oh my god, what a unique post that has definitely not been pointed out to be a misread of the situation for 40 pages!

Sorry?

I hope it all settles in a few days. I think you have done well with the texts and setting boundaries. Something like this would make me anxious especially being at the start of the day when hands are full with getting ready for work and two kids. The last thing you need is someone else’s mum and kid gluing themselves to your routines. I hope it works out.

Apology accepted.

Glad you've apologised 😆

Best not to although it's funny to imagine.

The WhatsApp group has TOTALLY ignored her WhatsApp and stated talking about half term clubs…so much so she resent it with ‘anyone??’ As a follow up.

Unbelievable. She's like a dog with a bone.

So a 5 year old must suck up being upset, losing his precious few one-on-one minutes with his mum in order to pander to a pushy child who is rough with him, gets him into trouble, and won’t let him eat his breakfast at breakfast club every single day, @Katypp?

The OP’s son is not a support animal for Simon, and his feelings and needs matter too.

Re the class WhatsApp - does your school not have rules for the content of these groups? Usually the school have a zero tolerance policy for parents airing grievances against other children / parents / teaching staff on the class WhatsApp. I’d suggest you going to the deputy head of the school (not the head since the head will be biased given it is their wife) and showing screenshots of the WhatsApp group msgs that mum sent.

Also, stand firm. The needs of your DS come first.

Oh dear, as a headmasters wife I'd thought you might have better comprehension skills.

Regardless of where Simon is going, he is insisting that the OP’s son goes with him before he has had a chance to eat his own breakfast - that’s the problem I was trying to explain to @scottishgirl69, @KilkennyCats. Apologies if I was not clear.

Well done OP.
We also used to walk through a park along the path then into a woods, then up a lane to the school. Sometimes we would see the same people at certain times of course but if we were being beholden to the same people everyday i would hate it. Sometimes you want to chat and sometimes your kid might want to scoot fast or pick up leaves and dawdle and enjoy a bit of a slow amble in.. breakfast club and after school club is a long day so it's important he has time to collect himself and prepare.

Can't quite believe she's put a message on the whatsapp about it. To say what exactly? A reminder to be kind type of thing? Or she's explained the situation and she's asking for opinions. Lol if so

If it were me I would totally ignore and tell ds he should tell Simon he's busy, can't play right now, mum says I need to eat my breakfast etc. Practice some things to say together.

And tell the breakfast staff and class teacher that he is wanting some distance between simon/can they encourage other friendships between them both. And if he can be encouraged to eat breakfast..

If she says anything at the breakfast school gate probably best to laugh it off as boys being awkward, isn't it funny how much they change.. i prob would try and allow you both to save face especially considering she seems really nasty and vengeful.

OP I am so fed up of the doormats on MN. You have been great. Well done.