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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate most men?

342 replies

Carlie97 · 10/02/2026 17:25

I'm not speaking about the whole male population, of course, but they're so pig ignorant. Sexist, bullish with disgusting habits. I'm currently sat in a cafe and a man, looks to be in his 60's is doing that deep throaty sniff in and sneezed so loud, I almost choked on my fish. Then there are the men who spit in public. Earlier I endured a man constantly sniffing on the train for half an hour. Women are like this too, but men are far worse. Enduring these men is a daily occurrence.

OP posts:
Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 06:50

InterestedDad37 · 12/02/2026 00:57

is there a statement from Mum's net saying it's for all parents

+4

"Mumsnet has stated that while the site is aimed primarily at mothers, its community and resources are intended for all parents, carers, and people seeking advice.
Inclusive Statement: In their Frequently Asked Questions, <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&rct=j&url=www.mumsnet.com/i/faqs&ved=2ahUKEwjBl5PR3tKSAxVlVqQEHcA5C_QQy_kOegQIAhAB&opi=89978449&cd&psig=AOvVaw0BF55cYRKaly-p1_Iv1VX5&ust=1770943999126000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mumsnet states: "We hope Mumsnet isn't exclusive to mums and indeed we know we have a number of dads who log on and contribute. If it doesn't sound too pompous we think the concept of 'mumming/mothering' goes beyond gender so don't feel Mumsnet is too exclusive"

Do your family and friends know you spend your evenings on Mumsnet telling women they’re wrong about misogyny and the female experience? Telling them that we should be inviting the opinion of men?

HoratioBum · 12/02/2026 07:03

ImPamDoove · 10/02/2026 20:24

I was in a queue in Waterstones yesterday and the man in front of me was repeatedly blowing his nose like a TRUMPET into a <shudder> handkerchief.

I’ll admit I fantasised about shooting him, and I also thought women simply never do this.

How dare he blow his nose into a handkerchief of all things!!

I am an inveterate loud nose blower, never learned to do it another way, ditto I am an annoyingly loud sneezer.

However, as long as these things are done in a sanitary way ( use of tissues, handkerchiefs, hand sanitiser etc) I don’t have a problem with them. Women have been conditioned for millennia to be quiet and fade into the background and not make any noise. I’m all for women making as much noise as necessary, to be honest.

Mostly everything else men do, however, is pretty gross and I agree, OP.

Highlighta · 12/02/2026 07:07

EstherGreenwood63 · 11/02/2026 18:13

Lol at the offended menz on here. Sling your inadequate hooks... 😂

Edited

My guess is this thread was linked to some Menz site and they all came running over to insert their 2c worth.

It kind of just proves the initial point of the thread really.

Mummadeze · 12/02/2026 07:13

Totally agree for other reasons. The Gisele Pelicot case just blew my mind. How not one of those men had enough of a conscience to realise how disgustingly wrong the situation was and whistleblow, I just can’t understand it. There were so many people involved who all stayed quiet. This was a shocking news story but there are probably loads of similar situations taking place that we don’t know about. Men visiting trafficked prostitutes etc. And aside from this, my experience with relationships has been dire. And my Dad is selfish, racist and not someone I look up to. I would happily be single for the rest of my life.

Carlie97 · 12/02/2026 07:22

Highlighta · 12/02/2026 07:07

My guess is this thread was linked to some Menz site and they all came running over to insert their 2c worth.

It kind of just proves the initial point of the thread really.

Edited

You're wrong.

OP posts:
Carlie97 · 12/02/2026 07:24

Gahr · 11/02/2026 20:54

Men are half the adult population. Well, 49%.

And I said I don't mean all of them.

OP posts:
InterestedDad37 · 12/02/2026 07:31

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 06:50

Do your family and friends know you spend your evenings on Mumsnet telling women they’re wrong about misogyny and the female experience? Telling them that we should be inviting the opinion of men?

Yes, in short I make no secret of the fact that I use this site from time to time. My adult children know (2 women, 1 man) and I speak to friends about it too. Their mother knows too, the woman who disappeared from their lives for a number of years (drugs) leaving me to bring them up on my own.

bigboykitty · 12/02/2026 08:08

InterestedDad37 · 12/02/2026 07:31

Yes, in short I make no secret of the fact that I use this site from time to time. My adult children know (2 women, 1 man) and I speak to friends about it too. Their mother knows too, the woman who disappeared from their lives for a number of years (drugs) leaving me to bring them up on my own.

And there it is...

Highlighta · 12/02/2026 08:10

Carlie97 · 12/02/2026 07:22

You're wrong.

How so?

I think it is quite noticeable on the responses.

EstherGreenwood63 · 12/02/2026 08:18

@Highlighta I think maybe OP thought you meant they had linked it.

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 12/02/2026 09:42

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 11/02/2026 22:08

That’s even more depressing.

She has internalised misogyny, that's why she's defensive. A lot of women have it, I had it and still catch myself thinking misogynistic thoughts about women. It's a work in progress, but I am trying.

It's understandable in a way: it's a painful and very scary thing to realise that the majority of men bear attitudes to women that put women at an economic, social, and emotional disadvantage at best and in physical danger at worst. So many people thinks that Epstein and Pelicot and Weinstein and Trump are outliers, but this abusive behaviour isn't confined to the top or a few powerful men or some deviants. It's at every level of society because it is maintained and protected at every level. Across every socioeconomic class, men protect one another and the systems that shield them. This happens in families, schools, workplaces, courts, hospitals, churches, government, and our homes. The scale may change, but the behaviour never does. And they don't protect each other out of loyalty or brotherhood. They do it out of self-interest. Every man understands, consciously or not, that the system protecting other men is the same system that could one day protect him. And most are not horrified by the abuse. In fact, some are jealous that they lack the wealth and access to take their desires that far.

This is the hardest part for most women to accept. It doesn’t make sense because even on your worst day, your most broken, angry, resentful day, you would not fathom anything like this. You could not do this to another person. You would never trade someone else’s body, mind, safety, or childhood for pleasure, status, or power.

So some women would really much rather believe that Epstein and co are outliars, and that women are exaggerating about the abuse they receive at the hands of men at every echelon in society. Because otherwise they would have to see the truth, and it's frightening.

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 09:54

'Their mother knows too, the woman who disappeared from their lives for a number of years (drugs) leaving me to bring them up on my own.'

So that's what's wrong with you. Appreciate the clarity but am surprised you're happy for folks on here to know that.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 09:54

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 12/02/2026 09:42

She has internalised misogyny, that's why she's defensive. A lot of women have it, I had it and still catch myself thinking misogynistic thoughts about women. It's a work in progress, but I am trying.

It's understandable in a way: it's a painful and very scary thing to realise that the majority of men bear attitudes to women that put women at an economic, social, and emotional disadvantage at best and in physical danger at worst. So many people thinks that Epstein and Pelicot and Weinstein and Trump are outliers, but this abusive behaviour isn't confined to the top or a few powerful men or some deviants. It's at every level of society because it is maintained and protected at every level. Across every socioeconomic class, men protect one another and the systems that shield them. This happens in families, schools, workplaces, courts, hospitals, churches, government, and our homes. The scale may change, but the behaviour never does. And they don't protect each other out of loyalty or brotherhood. They do it out of self-interest. Every man understands, consciously or not, that the system protecting other men is the same system that could one day protect him. And most are not horrified by the abuse. In fact, some are jealous that they lack the wealth and access to take their desires that far.

This is the hardest part for most women to accept. It doesn’t make sense because even on your worst day, your most broken, angry, resentful day, you would not fathom anything like this. You could not do this to another person. You would never trade someone else’s body, mind, safety, or childhood for pleasure, status, or power.

So some women would really much rather believe that Epstein and co are outliars, and that women are exaggerating about the abuse they receive at the hands of men at every echelon in society. Because otherwise they would have to see the truth, and it's frightening.

Edited

Standing ovation

Caerulea · 12/02/2026 10:17

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 12/02/2026 09:42

She has internalised misogyny, that's why she's defensive. A lot of women have it, I had it and still catch myself thinking misogynistic thoughts about women. It's a work in progress, but I am trying.

It's understandable in a way: it's a painful and very scary thing to realise that the majority of men bear attitudes to women that put women at an economic, social, and emotional disadvantage at best and in physical danger at worst. So many people thinks that Epstein and Pelicot and Weinstein and Trump are outliers, but this abusive behaviour isn't confined to the top or a few powerful men or some deviants. It's at every level of society because it is maintained and protected at every level. Across every socioeconomic class, men protect one another and the systems that shield them. This happens in families, schools, workplaces, courts, hospitals, churches, government, and our homes. The scale may change, but the behaviour never does. And they don't protect each other out of loyalty or brotherhood. They do it out of self-interest. Every man understands, consciously or not, that the system protecting other men is the same system that could one day protect him. And most are not horrified by the abuse. In fact, some are jealous that they lack the wealth and access to take their desires that far.

This is the hardest part for most women to accept. It doesn’t make sense because even on your worst day, your most broken, angry, resentful day, you would not fathom anything like this. You could not do this to another person. You would never trade someone else’s body, mind, safety, or childhood for pleasure, status, or power.

So some women would really much rather believe that Epstein and co are outliars, and that women are exaggerating about the abuse they receive at the hands of men at every echelon in society. Because otherwise they would have to see the truth, and it's frightening.

Edited

Only post worth reading. No notes. 10/10 will read again.

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 10:24

Carlie97 · 11/02/2026 14:15

I said not all men, so think what you want, and you can fuck the fuck off too.

You clearly just hate in general, OP.

Men, women... mostly yourself. I hope you find something productive to do where you can find some happiness. Life is too short for such hatred.

DiscoDuck40 · 12/02/2026 10:41

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 12/02/2026 09:42

She has internalised misogyny, that's why she's defensive. A lot of women have it, I had it and still catch myself thinking misogynistic thoughts about women. It's a work in progress, but I am trying.

It's understandable in a way: it's a painful and very scary thing to realise that the majority of men bear attitudes to women that put women at an economic, social, and emotional disadvantage at best and in physical danger at worst. So many people thinks that Epstein and Pelicot and Weinstein and Trump are outliers, but this abusive behaviour isn't confined to the top or a few powerful men or some deviants. It's at every level of society because it is maintained and protected at every level. Across every socioeconomic class, men protect one another and the systems that shield them. This happens in families, schools, workplaces, courts, hospitals, churches, government, and our homes. The scale may change, but the behaviour never does. And they don't protect each other out of loyalty or brotherhood. They do it out of self-interest. Every man understands, consciously or not, that the system protecting other men is the same system that could one day protect him. And most are not horrified by the abuse. In fact, some are jealous that they lack the wealth and access to take their desires that far.

This is the hardest part for most women to accept. It doesn’t make sense because even on your worst day, your most broken, angry, resentful day, you would not fathom anything like this. You could not do this to another person. You would never trade someone else’s body, mind, safety, or childhood for pleasure, status, or power.

So some women would really much rather believe that Epstein and co are outliars, and that women are exaggerating about the abuse they receive at the hands of men at every echelon in society. Because otherwise they would have to see the truth, and it's frightening.

Edited

I make no apologies for putting this on this thread yet again. Amazing post xx

JHound · 12/02/2026 10:42

YABU

JHound · 12/02/2026 10:45

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 12/02/2026 09:42

She has internalised misogyny, that's why she's defensive. A lot of women have it, I had it and still catch myself thinking misogynistic thoughts about women. It's a work in progress, but I am trying.

It's understandable in a way: it's a painful and very scary thing to realise that the majority of men bear attitudes to women that put women at an economic, social, and emotional disadvantage at best and in physical danger at worst. So many people thinks that Epstein and Pelicot and Weinstein and Trump are outliers, but this abusive behaviour isn't confined to the top or a few powerful men or some deviants. It's at every level of society because it is maintained and protected at every level. Across every socioeconomic class, men protect one another and the systems that shield them. This happens in families, schools, workplaces, courts, hospitals, churches, government, and our homes. The scale may change, but the behaviour never does. And they don't protect each other out of loyalty or brotherhood. They do it out of self-interest. Every man understands, consciously or not, that the system protecting other men is the same system that could one day protect him. And most are not horrified by the abuse. In fact, some are jealous that they lack the wealth and access to take their desires that far.

This is the hardest part for most women to accept. It doesn’t make sense because even on your worst day, your most broken, angry, resentful day, you would not fathom anything like this. You could not do this to another person. You would never trade someone else’s body, mind, safety, or childhood for pleasure, status, or power.

So some women would really much rather believe that Epstein and co are outliars, and that women are exaggerating about the abuse they receive at the hands of men at every echelon in society. Because otherwise they would have to see the truth, and it's frightening.

Edited

I do think there is some truth in this.
Especially the extent to which so many women really underestimate just how many hate women. And tolerate us for domestic labour, emotional labour and, especially, sex.

But I think it’s “many” not “most”.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:01

JHound · 12/02/2026 10:45

I do think there is some truth in this.
Especially the extent to which so many women really underestimate just how many hate women. And tolerate us for domestic labour, emotional labour and, especially, sex.

But I think it’s “many” not “most”.

I think “most” participate in woman hatred in some form or another. Even if it’s just from them benefiting from, or passively or subconsciously agreeing with, the other “many” men being active participants in it.

Would you consider the men who have been on this thread wagging their finger at women part of that “many”. I would.

Would you consider the men who have slept with drunk women/ girls as part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who are aware of their physical advantage over women and, without ever being violent or threatening, utilise that advantage part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who are “friends” with women only in the hope of sleeping with them part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who are aware of, and benefit directly from, the gender pay gap as part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who watch porn part of that “many”?

Which quickly expands it out to “most”.

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 11:08

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 10:24

You clearly just hate in general, OP.

Men, women... mostly yourself. I hope you find something productive to do where you can find some happiness. Life is too short for such hatred.

Turning your (crap) gaslighting on yourself right on cue.

Genuinely. Does it help?

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:11

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 11:08

Turning your (crap) gaslighting on yourself right on cue.

Genuinely. Does it help?

How do you mean?

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:13

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:11

How do you mean?

It means, when women raise legitimate concerns about women’s rights, safety and quality of life, why do you leap, aggressively, to the defence of men?

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:15

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:13

It means, when women raise legitimate concerns about women’s rights, safety and quality of life, why do you leap, aggressively, to the defence of men?

Blowing your nose in a cafe isn't 'raising a legitimate concern about women's rights' ..!

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:18

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:15

Blowing your nose in a cafe isn't 'raising a legitimate concern about women's rights' ..!

The conversation has moved on somewhat, wouldn’t you say?

And isn’t the fact that men feel they can do what ever disgusting act they wish in public not part of that wider conversation of women’s safety?

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:27

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:18

The conversation has moved on somewhat, wouldn’t you say?

And isn’t the fact that men feel they can do what ever disgusting act they wish in public not part of that wider conversation of women’s safety?

My reply was directed to the OP who wrote a post about hating most men after sitting in a cafe near a man who blew his nose. She then want on to swear at another poster who put forward a different POV hence my comment.

All a load of nonsense over something with very simple solutions. Don't sit near the person blowing their nose, try a different cafe, speak to them and ask them not to blow their nose. The solutions are many. Why would it occur to someone that the solution is posting about it on an internet forum? It's the usual wind-up and hate spreading and nothing originally to do with 'women's rights.'