Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

[Meg878o]

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Loud chewing noises are disgusting and the table manners of many children are appalling.

There are some that we hesitate to invite over for a meal given how badly, and loudly, they eat.

Team DH here. And why was he in the back?

Angry and upset?? Was this shouted at her or did he ask her politely? Was she chewing loudly? On the face of it it seems like a massive overreaction unless he has form for being horrible.

Dh can't be near anyone crunching food - crisps, sweets etc. It's a more pronounced irriation when he's already stressed. Obviously it's impossible to eat some things quietly, so he removes himself from the room temporarily. I can understand that food-eating noises aren't nice to hear for anyone, but if it's misophonia then the irritation is on another level. Your dd might have been chewing particularly loudly, or your dh might be ultra sensitive to the sound. Either way, unless there's a back story your reaction seems a bit OTT.

i remember my grandmother bellowing ‘stop chomping child!!’ If I was eating in an unseemly way and a friends mum telling me to eat with my mouth closed. The latter made me mortified but as a result have impeccable table manners and many friends who are willing to be in my vicinity while eating.

What's the issue? one of my DC needs to be reminded to eat with mouth closed, chewing noises are horrible.

Agreed.

Sorry but team DH on this one, I have to tell my children if they are chewing loudly when they are eating, lip smacking and slurping noises also make me rage which they all know and on occasion they purposely do it and then grin in my direction.
My DH was sat munching on crisps last night whilst watching tv, I only had to look at him and he started munching with less enthusiasm. I just can’t bear it 😬

Upset and angry? Very ott reaction. Chewing noises are gross, he asked her to stop chewing so loudly. At 11 she should know to close her mouth whilst eating. If I was your husband I’d be mad at you for being upset and angry at me for reminding my 11 year old child of basic manners

You need to explain why you are upset and angry at what is a normal thing to say to a child who is old enough to know to chew with her mouth closed.

Total non-event.

Nothing to be upset about . She needs to stop
chewing loudly - and perhaps check that she is closing her mouth when she eats/ not stuffing too much in at once.

My DH and DS have this conversation nearly everyday. I don’t understand your issue with it.

A member of my family chews loudly and it grates on me . Unless there is a huge back story , not sure what he has done wrong ?

Offended by being told to stop chewing so loudly? FFS 🙄

If that was the worst thing my parents had ever said to me, my life would have been so much better

Haahahaaaha! Sorry if this offended your daughter, you've a long way to go with her.

My thoughts are that this shouldn't be taken so seriously as to make a thread on here about it

Is your daughter overly sensitive? I get that comments like this (esp from parents) can hit a nerve and even feel hurtful to sensitive kids because it’s commenting on something very personal about the way their body does something (best way I could think to put it!) I was a sensitive kid like this. If that is the reason, you just need to be mindful about how you say things in future and if you need to say something critical try not to make it sound personal

Well unless he screamed in her face what on earth is the problem?

First one’s a winner!

Why was he in the back?

It's basic manners not to behave like she did. What he did was fine. It will annoy the fuck out of people. Better she hears it at home.

Don't give your kids chewy sweets if you don't want them to chew!

My daughter is very sensitive to chewing sounds, even when it is normal chewing with mouth closed. That said he is the adult and could have handled this better! How long was the car journey?

I agree, I hate when people eat loudly by not closing their mouth, or trying to talk with a mouthful. Both my mother and mother in law do it, it’s disgusting and bad manners.

She may have been chewing noisily. He may have misophonia.

YABU