Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

[Meg878o]

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

I tell mine the same if they smack their lips. Gross, I don’t wanna hear anyone eating or see the contents of their mouth.

yes, this is the reason people are so easily offended now…their parents were afraid to to tell the a few truths it seems! Honestly we have a new girl in work who gets offended when you so much as look in her direction (I wish I was exaggerating!)

YABVU

I tell my children daily not to eat so loudly, close mouths when chewing etc. It's basic manners.

Far better for your husband to alert her to her bad manners rather than allow her to develop unpleasant habits that will cause offence. I am sure it would be more upsetting for a friends parent to pull her up on her manners or talk behind her back....

NRFT must be a slow day in your household OP. If this is what upsets and makes you angry how do you cope with normal life? I'd be concerned if my d was offended by told not to chew loudly in someone's ear too. I'd be telling her myself not to do it as she was dragged up to eat properly in the first place.
As said before it's basic manners.

Misphonia is real. People chewing loudly and sloppily with their mouths open turns my stomach. It puts me off my own food and I have to move away from them. Some people are completely oblivious to how uncouth they are when they eat, perhaps because nobody in their childhood ever taught them basic table manners and consideration for others around them. Better she hears it now from her dad, than someone else further down the line, like her first boyfriend or a group of mean girls who decide she's too embarrassing to be in their clique. That would devastate her.

Really struggling to see an issue here.

If you cant even support your husband in basic discipline for something like chewing loudly you have got some major issues coming.

Why do so many parents miss the easy wins. Father asks child to stop chewing so loudly/with mouth open. Mother backs him up with "It is a bit over the top". Everyone moves on and DD realises parents are on the same page.

Instead DM comes on Mumsnet and asks the internet to back her up undermining DH.

Oh dear. This has massively “triggered” you in some way.

Did something happen in your Childhood?

Your response is really out of proportion with how the majority thinks.
If course people need to be told to eat more quiet. It’s good table manners. No one wants to be sitting next to a chomper, who was n ver told by his parents to close their mouth.
Eating quietly is common decency

My friend’s younger sister chews with her mouth open, she’s early 20s and someone should’ve said something like this to her years ago. Sweets are often very chewy and make your mouth produce more saliva so the noises are especially loud. Embarrassment helps us learn social acceptance, it’s unavoidable when growing up. Maybe DH could’ve softened it a bit but he wasn’t particularly rude and got the point across

I think you might be rather over sensitive to hearing any criticism of your child.

Thoughts......your husband has his work cut out for him.

Op not returned I see.

Tbis wasn’t worthy of a thread. I’d of told her too.

I get it. Loud chewing noises are the worst. I'd almost certainly say something to my 9yo in the same circumstances.
I can picture it now. Mouth agape, loud, squelchy "wet" masticating. Vile.

11yo is more than old enough to eat with a little decorum, so I imagine the telling was long over-due.

Nothing in my childhood but relatives with misophonia who prevent people around them from enjoying their lives. They are so entitled and entitled is the single personal flaw I despise the most.

So you don't want your dd to learn some manners. You're upset and angry because your DH gave your dd some basic pointers into how to coexist with other people.
Do you never correct her on anything?

Good God, is there anything at all which doesn't trigger and upset people these days? Upset and angry over a perfectly correct and reasonable way to speak to his daughter? Can she do no wrong in your eyes?

Are you upset that your DP is parenting and you are not?

Why was she offended by it ? That my first thought , I have a 10 year old and she would be annoyed for a minute , any more than that is choosing to be offended and I don’t support that in trivial stuff

Oh for goodness sake!

There is a massive difference between teaching your child basic eating habits and going on at them for the slightest sound.

I think you’re taking this out of proportion.

Loud chewing is vile. So YABVU.

These posts are why we have so many kids with no self regulation who can't be told anything as they get older..

Your H was telling his daughter off for bad manners. Good. It REALLY doesn't need a post asking people which of them was wrong 😂

Seems a bit of a storm in a teacup unless there is something else going on. Everyone gets irritated with other family members from time to time. If I can hear DH eating it drives me mad as his jaw clicks. He went through a phase of eating cornflakes when I was watching something quiet and it was like having a hamster in the corner.

Good for him. No-one likes sitting near a colleague who hasn't been taught how to eat nicely.