Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

[Meg878o]

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

Your 11 year old was .....offended? Jesus wept. She should chew with her mouth closed and learn to be abit more resilient. How will she cope with secondary school, college and the real world when she is so easily offended by everything? The fact youre "angry and upset" is also bonkers

I was taught from a very young age to always chew with my mouth closed. I remember how strict my primary school was on good manners.

Honestly, noisey eaters sound awful in close proximity.

I had just seen this on a Spotted Facebook page… I call bullshit 💩

353 replies, and the OP hasn't even come back to tell us if her daughter has modified her eating habits yet. 😆

So many fake threads around at the moment!

Maybe husband has ADHD? It would bother someone with ADHD to distraction.

I think most neurotypical people would dislike loud slurping right next to their ear just as much as someone with ADHD would, to be honest. Maybe he's just a normal bloke trying to teach basic eating manners to a child who is "offended" if she is asked not to eat loudly. (Asked with the use of the word "please", and everything.)

Actually I can see nothing in the list of ADHD symptoms that suggests loud chomping right at them is nastier for someone with ADHD than it is for anyone else. That is, repulsive.

It would bother almost ANYONE to distraction !

Yes you are. For goodness sake, he told her to chew nicely. He didn't ask her to walk ten miles to a well to collect water.

Some kids have mo manners ofyen because of bad parenting. At least your husband is trying to make her change her ways.

Team husband.

Loud chewing is diabolical.

Hi, maybe he suffers from Misophonia. I am the same, some
noises drives me crazy!!

Maybe, like almost everyone I know, he simply dislikes having someone chewing loudly right next to his ear.

The giveaway is in the header: "can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear".

I think most neurotypical people would dislike loud slurping right next to their ear just as much as someone with ADHD would, to be honest.

Sorry this isn't true.

When a neurotypical person hears a repeated noise, their brain damps the noise down the more it's repeated. This is called sensory gating.

Many/most people with ADHD will have sensory gating problems, where the second time the noise happens, it has the same impact as the first time. And it's actually more and more frazzling the longer it goes on.

All this ADHD stuff is ridiculous. It’s a parent’s responsibility to teach a child acceptable manners. And eating quietly is fundamental. She’s 11, not 3!

It is not ridiculous.

If you scanned my brain and yours (assuming you are NT) while we were listening to someone making loud eating noises, your brain would damp the reaction on each successive chomp and mine would not.

Many/most people with ADHD will have sensory gating problems, where the second time the noise happens, it has the same impact as the first time. And it's actually more and more frazzling the longer it goes on.

This is fascinating. I have this problem. People eating, office background noise, even music in the background - I love music, but if it's on I'm listening to it and it can stop my brain doing other stuff. When I play music I think it works to my advantage as I'm more aware than most people about what the other musicians in the group are doing. Unless what the other people are doing is wrong, at which point I'm more likely to fall over too.

It’s ridiculous in this context because it’s irrelevant. An 11 year old should be able to eat politely and quietly. Regardless of the person in earshot.

What’s wrong with telling a big girl to keep her mouth closed when eating?? No wonder we have such snowflakes around, it’s a simple and very reasonable thing to ask her.

I completely agree. And at 3, my daughter knew that it was not acceptable to eat with her mouth open or make loud noises eating. It’s just the most basic of manners.

I think the relevance of the ADHD may be that it's possible the children are not eating unduly noisily or with their mouths open, it's possible that the husband having ADHD may be unusually sensitive to an entirely normal level of eating noise. I know I am over sensitive so I check whether kids actually have their mouths open or anything and don't complain unless they do.

I agree, I was referring to the husband.

Yes. And it is irrelevant whether he is ND or not. The point of this is the 11 year old’s manners.

I don't agree.

It's entirely possible for someone like me to find the noise of someone eating almost unbearable when that person is doing absolutely nothing wrong.

In which case I would expect you to have mentioned the matter before a child you lived with reached the age of eleven and was still eating noisily next to other people's ears.