Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

[Meg878o]

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

I have misophonia. I find chewing noises of all sorts very difficult to cope with, especially when I'm somewhere that I can't just up and leave.

In my case, I manage it by wearing headphones playing music. (Or, at a meal out, with alcohol). I don't ask anyone to change their behaviour, since that wouldn't seem fair. I also don't want to mark myself out as more of a weirdo than I already am.

But I wish there were more of a divide in society between spaces for eating and spaces for doing other things, just for my own sake.

I feel sorry for the husband. He shouldn't get angry/snappy with his kid though, whether the kid's manners are atrocious or not.

Have you tried explaining that the world doesn't revolve around her? I'd love to know how she reacted.

This OP posted on 26/01 about an extremely serious situation with her husband, his job and complaints against him. She stated that were it not for the DC, she would leave.

Superficially I agree that an 11 yo needs to learn to eat politely. However I imagine that episode is affecting her perceptions rather significantly.

11 year olds can lack awareness, if she chews too loudly or chews with her mouth open, who better to tell her than her own parent?

My husband has a misophonia. I don't think your husband was being rude.

Extra!! Extra!! Read all about it.

Man irritated by loud chewing noise. Requested perpetrator cease outrageous behaviour immediately.

I mean stop the feckin' clocks!! I'm assuming the media have been alerted. Are they camped outside your home atm?

"Thoughts'' indeed? 😂

He was telling her to stop eating so noisily, which is right because it's disgusting to eat like that. Presumably you'd just ignore it and let her get on with it.

I would have done the same. I have misophonia and it drives me insane

I think it entirely depends on how it was said. If she was genuinely chewing loudly of course it’s ok to ask her to chew more carefully/quietly. Obviously it should be said respectfully/nicely as she’s not doing it on purpose.

what?? get a grip. If thats the worse he says then my goodness...

I’m a confused as to why you’re making this a thing. Kids chews loudly = parent asks them
not to. This is teaching them good manners surely? I don’t understand why you’d be angry. Are we missing some of the story here?

How have people read 'chewing loudly' as 'chewing with her mouth open'?

Is this an experiment in how replies often bear no relation to the op?

Well I never been able to chew loudly with my mouth closed to be fair and opening your mouth to chew amplifies the sound because your lips aren’t closed to dampen the sound! So we can assume that the child has mouth open or was smacking her lips…again requires opening the mouth briefly…

Anyway it doesn’t matter, mouth open or mouse closed they were making eating noises which is something that people need to be aware of… no harm caused making them aware at all.

He was ASKING her to stop eating so noisily, and used the word "please" when he did so, according to the OP.

I think it has been mentioned that OP has it in for her husband: there was apparently another thread by her in which he was roundly condemned by her for all sorts of things, but in this instance he doesn't seem to have done anything particularly outrageous.

Eleven-year-old offended by being asked politely not to eat loudly. Oh dear what a pity never mind.

We can't even assume that the kid was actually chewing loudly, as people with misophonia have pointed out.

Upset and angry...what are you like when dealing with important matters OP?

I cannot bare anyone chewing gum. Make me feel physically sick. When the kids got in the car they knew they had to.bin it. Teach your daughter some manners. Listening to someone chewing is utterly disgusting. I think he was quite reserved.

We were not told what sort of sweets the child was eating. If they were ones you chew than the noise can be really loud and horrible; if they were ones you suck then you have to make quite an effort to be as noisy with them as you can be with, say, a toffee.

And chocolate, of course, is generally almost silent no matter how disgusting you try to be.

That’s abuse. Get her signed up for therapy asap and LTB.

👏👏👏

🤣🤣😂 brilliant!

@Blades2 have you discovered the loop earplugs yet? Lifesaver for when you still need to be engaged/present in the chat but mask ambient noise (like chewing from the next table for example)

Just don't trust the 'carrier'. Springs open way too easily and then they're gone 🙄

@Whatsmyusername85 some people can absolutely have their mouth closed and still be very audible chewers. My husband is one, as is his mother, but his father and brother are fine. I'm pretty certain I have misophonia so am sensitive to it but it's by no means everyone so would say some are just louder than others despite having perfectly acceptable manners.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime why have you tagged me? Your post doesn't relate to mine.