Father in law making rude comments in pregnancy

[Beula82]

FIL has form for being rude and it being laughed off without anyone pulling him up on it. I feel like this time he's gone too far.

Last pregnancy he repeatedly called me a "beached whale". Lots of laughter etc.

Now this pregnancy 7 months pregnant, feeling heavy and sensitive and hormonal. He greets me saying "hello fatty".

AIBU to say enough is enough and I'm not spending time with him unless he apologies and stops being so rude and thoughtless?

He's being rude. Just say hello. Don't smile and go along with it. Then speak to someone else immediately, turning your back on him if you can.
I find total non reaction works for me, saves me getting annoyed and won't feed into the 'jokey' vibe he's going for. Xx

I agree with people suggesting saying something nasty back. You have to go for a weak spot though. Once he is afraid of the consequences he will shut the fuck up.

Agreed. Just walk straight back out again. He'll say that you can't take a joke but ignore the old fool and go straight home.

Absolutely go in hard. And the answer to "He's just trying to be funny" is "Well, clearly no-one thinks it's funny, do they, and he should have noticed that for himself by now."

More class and low contact in future.
He acts like a twat because it makes him feel like Billy Big Balls when others laugh. - Until they are on the receiving end.
H has a bil like this, to whom everyone defers. like his God.
H never had much dealing with him, and since we've been together no contact at all. I've never met the twat as I wouldn't tolerate hearing him tell h 'to put your wife in her place'.

Why drag down to the twat level? I doubt he's be bothered and after tyou had left the remaining would probably have a good laugh about that.
Some sort of shit like - "She needs a man to sort her out, wait a minute she's already had one , is it Johns though?" Queue laughter.
Retorting may well just rebound and give more fuel to his rudness and twattery in the future.

Insulting him back - using his age/baldness/ugliness/whatever is just stopping to the same level. Although tempting, it won't feel as good as taking the high ground.

If you can, steely look, hold the awkward silence, after a beat tell him you don't find it funny. If MIL tries to tingly laugh it off "oh it's just what he's like, he doesn't mean any harm". Then a flat "he knows I don't appreciate it and I don't want DC to have to hear family insulting other people's appearances". And be prepared to leave/go into another room/whatever.

It will feel uncomfortable but he's the one making it so, you're just setting a perfectly reasonable boundary.

A ideal retort would be to mention his baldmess..or hairy nose/ears..keeping fuzzy catapillars in there..and laugh.
Keep laughing at him. Make him the butt of the joke.
He'll soon stop

“Stop being a nasty bully, FIL - I am not the butt of your so-called humour!”

I agree with this
because you don’t wanna lower yourself to his level

I would say ‘hello limp dick’😂, but I’m petty.

I am always amazed that womens bodies seem to be fair game for male comments. My question about anything like this is, would it work the other way round? Obviously not in this case and there isnt an equivalent for a woman to talk to a man this way even now. I remember when I was young and I suppose pretty enough, a guy shouting in the street 'look at those tits' and I shouted back 'look at that dick.' They thought it funny but I dont suppose it taught them anything. I think the Winston Churchill thing is good - not his comment which is horrible but if you said to your FIL 'well I won't look like this much longer but you will always have that nose/bald patch/beer belly' or whatever it might stop him. On the other hand your husband might never speak to you again. Sorry - I am useless at giving advice. The man/woman thing is perpetually unequal. Read Laura Bates and cry.

Husband should be saying something ,he is being disrespectful towards you and your baby wish you well in your pregnancy xx

Perhaps, hello baldy, oldy, or whatever he has going on would be a fitting come back. Remember this your biology, your not fat, youre not a beached whale. You are growing a baby. Don't let these misogynistic gits get you down x

The moment it happens who ever is in the room should deal with it, and be prepared for its a joke as first come back.

😆

I'd be tempted to reply to "Hallo fatty" loudly by saying something like "Oh dear, has no-one ever sat you down and educated you about pregnancy? Can you really not tell the difference between a pregnant uterus and a fat stomach? They have some good basic biology books in the children's section at the library, try reading one of those."