To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

[Onempretime7788]

I would have thought post 35 was rare

Women in the old days were having kids well into their 40s. I know a lady who fell pregnant at 48 as they weren´t taking precautions because they thought it was impossible. Now they know otherwise. If you haven´t been through the menopause...

I never used to think much of older mothers until I net my current boyfriend. His mum was 45 when she had him and now hes looking after them due to ill health/old age before hes even 40 himself. I definitely think its selfish. Especially when its completely unnecessary.

The average age for childbirth in the UK is 29, so yes I would raise an eyebrow - but on Mumsnet it seems to almost be the norm. I personally wouldn't risk having children if I was over 40. The risk of complications is too high for my liking.

This feels like a reverse. If so congratulations on your pregnancy at 44, OP.

How do you know it was completely unnecessary? How do you know at what age she was able to have a child.

My paternal grandfather was in his 40s when he started having children and a number of my friends are having their first in their 40s.

In all cases it is because that was how long it took for them to be in a situation to have children.

I thought it had increased to 30 now?

I had my last child, 6 years ago age 40.

I thought I was old (the other two I was 22 and 33).

No one batted an eyelid. My consultant (cons led as it was my 3rd elective section), told me I was very far from the oldest woman she would be seeing that day when I spoke to her about my age out of curiosity. No midwife ever commented on my age.

Even when I was having my section, the consultant doing it said I could have at least one more section safely, I laughed and said I was too old, he said, “you are only 40! You could easily have another.”

My dad was 47 when I was born. He lived until 90.

My mum was 32. She was dead before my 11th birthday and I spent years of my childhood helping to nurse her through cancer.

You don’t know what life will throw at you.

You were lucky. Not everybody else is.

My parents had me at 34 and they died in their early-mid 60s so I was caring for them through cancer until death when I was only early 30s myself. Having to care for elderly or unwell parents at any age isn’t great.

My friend just had her first baby at 46. She's knackered and confused as to why she made this decision... knowing her son will be an only child and have elderly parents young.

To add to this my grandfather was mid 40s when my dad was born and his wife (my grandmother) was 14 years younger. My grandfather lived to his 100s, my grand mother dies in her 40s (when my dad was primary school age.)

Why is she confused? It appears she preferred a kid over no kids.

Life's not that simple i would have loved to have found a decent partner in my 20,s but instead i met a succession of men who didnt want to commit
I didnt meet my dh until I was 31
Some people dont meet anyone till later or some not at all.

I don't know whether to laugh or ask you why?

It's 29.6 according to the Gov website.

Sounds like hell to me but not uncommon.

The average age of first-time mothers in Ireland is now almost 32

People miss that there is a clear difference between a 50yo dying if they have grown up children (20s to 30s) vs a 5yo. And chances of death tend to increase with age, you cannot bank on living til 90+ (and still being fit and healthy).

But you are absolutely right that in terms of elder care, it’s not fun or desirable at any age. Is a 40yo having to care for a 80yo really worse than a 50-60yo having to do it? I really don’t think so.

My mums cousin had a baby and had had 20 years of cancer treatment (which they said would make her infertile ) she was 57 it wasn’t planned.

I agree with this. Dont believe all the posts about getting pregnant for the first time at mid 40's after 1 month of trying!

A friend of mine left it to 36. Wanted the big old white wedding which took 1 year of planning even though she had been married before. It never happened. She had gone through an early menopause and apparently didnt realise.

I am not sure I believe this..

Thewis, and find2ing om z a half decent one at 20 isn't some sign of superiority like some people treat it. It's good fortune. At 20 I was far less able to pick a good one from a bad one. All my sisters settled down young, obligated one still married and the others had / have really difficult relationships with their x's. I thank god I didn't settle down with either the guy I was engaged to at 19 or the one I was with for several years in my early twenties. I don't they'd have lasted the 15 years DH are Cornelly at and still happily married

So you'd prefer he was caring for older parents when he was 60 and dealing possibly with his own declining health? How is that better?

But what’s there not to believe? If I tell you that I got pregnant at 40 first time trying (miscarriage) and then immediately again (gave birth to a healthy baby aged 41), why would you assume that it’s a lie? What gain would there be for me?