I was snobby, apparently

[Rayners]

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

You're both out of order. You sound a bit snobby, she sounds like an inverted snob

Your sister started this she’s the one in the wrong. You were polite about her holiday until she provoked you. And for the record I also have a DD who’s all inclusive package holiday is her idea of hell. She was 2 days in and wanting to go home. She was bored, wanted to be able to cook our own food, the entertainment was too overwhelming, too hot and too many people. She wanted to go look around a castle like we do on a UK holiday. So not all kids want the same things.

I say this as someone who did AI in the Canary Islands recently - your sister deserved that comment! She started it and you finished it. Play stupid games win stupid prizes and all that 🤣

Next time she brings it up say “look, you were being the judgey one. I was pointing out that your idea of a holiday is different to ours. One is not better or less boring than the other. Leave it now for gods sake”

Good on you OP! Your sister got back what she gave out. People calling you snobby are the kind of people who allow themselves to be disrespected for sport.

We all have our preferences, your sister obviously does.

Yep another one who thinks you sound snobby. Even the way you’ve described her holiday on here and the way you’ve described yours - it’s obvious you’re judgmental about it and think yours was better.

You’re allowed to think your holiday sounds better than someone else’s though. That’s why you choose to do your holiday and not theirs. The OP’s sister thought her holiday sounded better than the OP’s, too, that’s why she kept telling the OP hers sounded boring.

Unfair of your mum to take sides OP.

It doesn’t matter if each sister thinks their holiday is best. They are allowed to think that in private! But the point is OP was careful not to say it to her sister and be polite…. Until her sister did not show her the same courtesy.

But her sister was being very rude to @Rayners!

I'm sorry OP but your sister sounds thick - not because of her choice of holidays but because of her comments. I don't think you should have said what you did but I agree with the sentiment.

doesnt seem like either of you are very nice to each other

But the sister was rude about hers first! Every has a different idea of what kind of holiday they like, we often think ours are better because they are what we enjoy. Was it the Butlins reference that hit a nerve?

The sister was rude to op going on about how boring her holiday must have been. She had it coming.

Doesn't sound like the Op commented on her dear sister's boring package holiday until she was provoked by the rude sis.

OP, next time tell her to get lost don't show your photos to her. Your sister sounds like a nightmare.

Team OP 🙌

I think your sister sounds rather childish, you are different people who like different things and have different priorities regarding what you want to see in photos, from your holidays. Italy is beautiful 🤩 I went to Amalfi a few years ago. The views are awesome and so I have a lot of natural beauty photos. So it depends on what you personally appreciate. If the rest of the family are being petty toward you about what she has said about you then they too are being childish.

I do think it was a bit snobby. But your sister is being OTT.

It’s a storm in a teacup. You should both feel very privileged to be able to take your kids on holiday. And that you have each other.

Suggest you apologise for judging her holiday in response to her judging (and criticising) yours. Would be a boring world if we all liked the same things. She likes holidays that are fun in the sun. You like exploring places and their history. Nothing wrong with either.

But it all started with the sister openly judging OP’s holidays. Why is that fine but when OP does the same suddenly it is rude?
Looking down on someone for visiting something historic is the same as looking down on them for eating burgers and chips, isn’t it?

Sister sounds like a chav. Ignore.

Yes, and the sister comes across as judgy and critical of OP's holiday. She pushed and pushed instead of taking the hint to shut up and got put in her place.

Sister was going on and on basically criticising the Op’s holiday. The Op did not say anything bad about sisters (she said nice photos). It was only when sister started criticising Op’s holiday and photos again and again did she mention Butlins. Therefore I’m on the Op’s side.

Isn’t it only snobby if you think Butlins is low class?

OP didn’t say that it was nor was that her thought process, but that is how her sister took it so her sister must think that it is otherwise she wouldn’t have got so defensive and cried to other family members.

Nope. You don’t sound snobby to me.

Sister was being an obnoxious twat and consistently insulting you. So you gave her, her answer. Too bad if she didn’t like it. She shouldn’t have run her rude mouth.

And to go running to your Mom and family playing the victim, is utterly childish.

If she can’t take it, she shouldn’t dish it out.

YANBU. She sounds a bit thick. I would have just said "Maybe we have different ideas of a good holiday?" You both insulted one another's holidays, leave it at that!

I think this is a prime example of "don't give it out if you can't take it."

Personally, if that had been me and my sister, we'd have just rolled our eyes at each other and moved on. Hell, your Butlins comment might have actually raised a laugh. But we both have a sense of humour, unlike your sister.

Personally, I enjoy both types of holiday!

showing each other holiday photos is never going to end well. I remember when I was little there was a thing for producing slides and then inviting friends round to see your snaps. a few horrendous evenings led to a lifelong reluctance to share or see other people's "memories"!