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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm too boring for DH

504 replies

Wowserbowser88 · 06/02/2026 23:20

Not even sure where to start with this one

Dh has been off with me all week. Snappy, short answers to any questions and just not engaged at all.

He had a drink tonight and finally admitted that he thinks i'm too boring for him. Because I don't have many friends. Don't go out and when I do its usually with work friends.

He thinks I am a terrible friend because I don't have many so I must be.

I don't go to any clubs or activities etc and we don't go out at the weekend often.

Here's the thing.. we have 2 children (8 and 4.) Both work full time and up until a year ago he worked shifts (earlies/lates/nights) so I could never make plans as he was always on shift. Even now he often works shifts. tho less of them and has weeks where he is on call 24/7 so I can't do anything

He also goes to football most weekends all day on Saturday so i'm at home with kids and he may stay put in the pub after until late

He was away with work last week and said he sat in a hotel room just thinking how badly he'd messed up by marrying someone so boring

He seems to think people, even with young children are out socialising every weekend and we're not and the children will suffer because of it

OP posts:
Girl2345 · 06/02/2026 23:26

Tell him bollocks and when he sees his kids once per week or has them 50lercent he won't have time to socialise then🤣

Dinosweetpea · 06/02/2026 23:27

Wow, Sorry you married a complete arsehole. When exactly are you supposed to go out (not that that is a measure of not being boring!) when he is never around to help out?!

ProfessionalTeaDrinker · 06/02/2026 23:27

You need to go back to him and say that you are really pleased he's noticed, you feel the same and are so grateful that he understands and will now be giving up his Saturday football so you can have the time to socialise while he watches the kids.....

KittytheHare · 06/02/2026 23:28

What an awful man. You deserve so much better.

ByDreamyNavyDreamer · 06/02/2026 23:30

I would be looking for evidence he’s cheating. He’s looking for ways to blame you.

cadburyegg · 06/02/2026 23:30

WTF?

This reminds me of when I had a friend living with me who criticised me for not having many interests or hobbies. I was (still am) a single mum with 2 young kids - they were 8 and 5 at the time

Except this is your husband who sounds like an utter arse. I’m sorry op you sound lovely and not boring at all

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 06/02/2026 23:31

ByDreamyNavyDreamer · 06/02/2026 23:30

I would be looking for evidence he’s cheating. He’s looking for ways to blame you.

My immediate thought. He is either having an affair or trying to start one and looking to blame you.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 06/02/2026 23:32

But also make lots and lots of plans with friends and leave him to look after the children. He still wont be happy but you will have a net to catch you when the arsehole leaves.

DustyMaiden · 06/02/2026 23:32

LTB

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 06/02/2026 23:33

Time to start getting out the house, OP

Harbsinmarbs · 06/02/2026 23:34

ProfessionalTeaDrinker · 06/02/2026 23:27

You need to go back to him and say that you are really pleased he's noticed, you feel the same and are so grateful that he understands and will now be giving up his Saturday football so you can have the time to socialise while he watches the kids.....

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 well said.

Bonkers1966 · 06/02/2026 23:34

Guessing he is close to his family. If you end up leaving him due to this behaviour he will be able to say it was your choice
Not the bad guy then

LadyLolaRuben · 06/02/2026 23:35

He needs to take the kids 50% of the time, so you can get out more. Use the time to build a life away from him - hobbies, interests and friends. After my relationship ended, I vowed I'd never centre a man in my life again, he can fit in with it. Friends are around far longer than any man.

Also use the time to see a solicitor and get your ducks in a row. Something is brewing. Take care and put yourself first x

froglet45 · 06/02/2026 23:36

How boring and selfish of you to care for his kids so he can work shifts and go to the football weekly. You’re not boring, he is a twat. And I agree he is trying to blame you for something which would start alarm bells ringing for me.

Justchillinhere · 06/02/2026 23:36

I'd tell him this is not the hotel California, you can leave at any time, no need to declare your departure just off you trot, lol or more strongly worded but I'd be aiming to be rid of him asap

Ponoka7 · 06/02/2026 23:36

He's had his head turned. The men leave their wives and then realise that the woman who likes a good night out, isn't going to play housewife, like you do. Stop examining yourself, this is on him and whoever he's been tempted by, or whoever his mate is shagging and he now thinks he's got more getting offered on a plate, than he has at home. He's a fucking rat. You've supported his working pattern at a cost to yourself. Your kids will suffer because you aren't out on the piss? Is he offering to babysit?

andthat · 06/02/2026 23:38

So you have a young family and he goes out of the house every Saturday for football and the pub?

Hes absolutely taking the piss. And then has the audacity to insult you?

What an absolute arsehole. If I were you and had the means to separate , he’d be out the door. He is staggeringly disrespectful and unkind.

Lambington · 06/02/2026 23:38

Sadly the op is the one who "messed up" by breeding with this oaf.

Boolabus · 06/02/2026 23:39

Wow. You're not boring he's a d**khead. He's gaslighting you don't believe him because it's not true

InMyOodie · 06/02/2026 23:41

He's possibly had his head turned and is justifying it by taking swipes at you.

Catza · 06/02/2026 23:42

I suggest tomorrow you get up nice and early and leave the house before him and the kids had a chance to wake up. When he inevitably calls you distressed that he is stuck "babysitting" his kids and can't leave for his football, you say that you are out with the girls and will be back in the evening as you are heading for a boozy lunch and then an art gallery opening night and a jazz concert. And you already have plans for the next weekend so he may want to clear his schedule now as you need him to stay home with the kids.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/02/2026 23:43

Of course he was sat alone in a hotel room feeling sorry for himself.

The women on the work thing probably turned him down.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 06/02/2026 23:43

InMyOodie · 06/02/2026 23:41

He's possibly had his head turned and is justifying it by taking swipes at you.

This.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 06/02/2026 23:44

Boolabus · 06/02/2026 23:39

Wow. You're not boring he's a d**khead. He's gaslighting you don't believe him because it's not true

And this.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 06/02/2026 23:44

andthat · 06/02/2026 23:38

So you have a young family and he goes out of the house every Saturday for football and the pub?

Hes absolutely taking the piss. And then has the audacity to insult you?

What an absolute arsehole. If I were you and had the means to separate , he’d be out the door. He is staggeringly disrespectful and unkind.

And this, too.