Should i let my children be looked after this person?

[YourDenimTraybake]

This is a delicate matter…
just wanted to hear peoples views.

A distant family member has gotten themself into a tricky situation where they can’t be around kids at the moment.

They are currently staying at a family members house until this is sorted out. We haven’t been for a while because they are staying there and we have children. But we do visit often under normal circumstances.

My kids are supposed to going in a few weeks for the day. Under normal circumstances i would be happy for them to go. However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work.

Do you think it’s ok for my kids to still go. I’ve been told that they won’t be there at all whilst my kids are there.

I am a little worried, but only because I don’t wanna get into trouble doing the wrong thing.

Sorry if I’ve been vague. 🤦🏼‍♀️ don’t really know how to approach the situation.

If you have to take to MN to ask then the answer is no. You're not comfortable so don't do it.

No, I wouldn't let them go unsupervised. If there was any chance that they would turn up or the family member didn't let you know that had came home, how would you find out? Do you trust that family member implicitly to tell the truth? Are they pushing for your children to visit? Could they visit you instead?

Even if the person who 'can't be around kids' isn't there, I don't think I'd want to send a child to the home of someone who was happy to have a suspected paedophile living with them.

“A distant family member has gotten themself into a tricky situation where they can’t be around kids at the moment.“

What does this mean?

It depends if you can trust the person caring for them to prioritise their needs over the family member.

I'd tend toward not doing it.

So it sounds like an uncle has been found to be grooming children online or similar. He has moved back home to his parents house. His parents are grandparents to your children. Is that it?

This isn’t about you doing the wrong thing, this is about keeping your children safe. I think you know the answer.

Obviously no. This is a total no brainer.

This
If it's a child abuser, anyone complicit in supporting it is equally reprehensible and not to be trusted.

If someone has been accused of being a predator or assaulting a child, then I’d not allow my children within 1000 yards of the house they were staying in, or associating with the people ‘sheltering’ them.

Most likely some kind of child sex offence

No.
This person is supporting someone who has offered against children they have no moral compass and an inability to see the need for appropriate safeguarding

I think OP wins the record for the most minimising euphemism of the day….

The children absoultely do not go there.

I only needed to read the title - if you have to post a thread with a title like that, you’ve already answered your own question, OP!

Sorry no, I suspect this is pedophilia, although you don't have to say as it's very sensitive for you.
Who knows if this person has set up secret cameras etc? I know that's a little out there but you just don't know?
Until this is resolved and clarified ie - the case and conviction process - I would not send my children to this house.

No you should not send your children to 'home' of a child abuser/ groomer/rapist unless he has moved out - if he is just at work , What's to stop him coming home early , being off sick that day or any other myriad excuses. Dont forget until it has been too court you may not know the truth of what he has done as he and his parents / relative will minimize it as a way of managing their shame

Would I let my children be looked after by a relative who is happy to house someone in their home who isn't allowed to be around children? No I wouldn't. Under any circumstances.

To not be allowed around children they are either a paedophile or a physical abuser. The idea of letting someone like that stay in my home with me makes me feel sick.

I'd be viewing the person housing them very differently going forward. They'd not be having access to my kids without me there with them.

If you've been relying on them for childcare you need another solution going forward.

OMG please do not send your children to the home of people who are sheltering a paedophile!

So the person's house you want to take your kids to welcomes paedos with open arms and allows them food and shelter. Presumably because they can't be that disgusted or angry about what he did.

So no, they can't be trusted around kids either. They are sympathisers to a child molester?!

They are currently staying at a family members house until this is sorted out

Sorted out? You make it sound like you think this is a complete mix up, and there is no actual issue?

Either way, no, I wouldn’t let them go.

Theres absolutely no such thing as a "tricky situation" that leads someone to be banned from being around children.

Minimizing the situation will put your children at risk.

OP, the fact that you are asking here means you are doubtful, so don’t do it. You won’t know if this person comes back during the day; you won’t know what time they come home. I’d keep my DC well away until such time as this person is no longer with your family member - and if the arrangement is permanent, family member will have to come to you to see your DC, if that is what you want. Your children’s safety should trump any and every other consideration.

Agreed.
OP you are downplaying the seriousness of these allegations.

Obviously not. Your trusted family member babysits at your house, or you make alternate plans. Don’t put your children in harm’s way.