Should i let my children be looked after this person?

[YourDenimTraybake]

This is a delicate matter…
just wanted to hear peoples views.

A distant family member has gotten themself into a tricky situation where they can’t be around kids at the moment.

They are currently staying at a family members house until this is sorted out. We haven’t been for a while because they are staying there and we have children. But we do visit often under normal circumstances.

My kids are supposed to going in a few weeks for the day. Under normal circumstances i would be happy for them to go. However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work.

Do you think it’s ok for my kids to still go. I’ve been told that they won’t be there at all whilst my kids are there.

I am a little worried, but only because I don’t wanna get into trouble doing the wrong thing.

Sorry if I’ve been vague. 🤦🏼‍♀️ don’t really know how to approach the situation.

No I wouldn’t feel comfortable

I’ve seen many a time in situations such as this that the people this family member are staying with are clearly sympathetic to this person and believe they are innocent or that what they have done is not serious and therefore don’t follow the rules of the situation and will allow them around your children without your knowledge

No I would ask people you usually visit to come to you in this instance until the order is dropped or there home is not this person’s residence. if something is bought up then you and they have done everything in your power to protect the kids and also person who’s not allowed around them as a breach of this order could lead to further repercussions possibly land them in prison.

I would steer clear of the lot of them,even the relatives who’s house he’s at.Sounds like the brush it under the carpet brigade .Disgusting.

It’ll be another man who downplays their crime… ‘I didn’t know she was a month under 16’, ‘I accidentally downloaded a virus which put child abuse images on the computer’
why these families fall for this shut over and over again.
of course OP if someone is not supposed to be around children then you don’t let them be anywhere near your children. What a no brainer!!

Absolutely not, no, and I think you know that deep down, hence posting!

This

In case anyone is curious about the other thread I was talking about, it’s this one:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5480450-what-is-reasonable-for-a-guest-to-do?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

If you are asking here, no. Why would you? To be honest I'd be questioning why the relatives are offering to temporarily house someone who has physically/sexually abused? Assaulted? Been inappropriate towards a child?

I'd be keeping my child away for the foreseeable future as this suggests they probably aren't the best people to keep your child safe. I'm not sure I'd allow them to have my child alone again fullstop, I wouldn't trust their judgement.

‘Should I allow my children to be cared for in the home of a possible sex offender?’

Do you really need Mumsnet to advise you?

Either you trust the people you are handing over your kids to for the day, or you don't.

If they understand the importance of keeping that person away and you're confident they will, then I don't see the problem.

If you have any doubt then don't do it.

I wouldn't be in contact at all with someone who has what sounds like a paedophile/child abuser living with them, let alone even contemplate my children going to their house with or without my supervision! If any member of my family wasn't allowed to be around children I wouldn't have them in my life in any capacity.

No. Do not send your children to this place.

It’s obviously some sort of paedophilia since there is no other reason why someone can’t be around kids. So no I would not be taking my kids there. I would also feel very uncomfortable remaining in contact with someone who thinks it’s fine to house a paedophile in their home. I certainly wouldn’t trust them to have contact with my children be it inside or outside the home

The legal situation is likely to be that there have been bail condition put in that the person is not to have unsupervised contact with any child under 16 and that any contact must be with the parents consent

However, how comfortable you would feel with supervising and being around that person (I am assuming a child has made an allegation of either physical or sexual assault against him), is up to you.

You say hes going to be at work so in which case there isnt really an issue, but can you guarantee that.

What is the other family member's view on the allegations becausee if they are dismissive of it, then they may well not be able to safeguard if he popped home or was off sick that day or whatever.

Whilst everyone is innocent until proven guilty, I would say no chance in hell.

Why do you want your children to go to this house?

My kids are supposed to going in a few weeks for the day. Under normal circumstances i would be happy for them to go. However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work.

I don't understand, why are you less happy for your kids to go when the person won't be there?

I really wouldn't send the kids. The person might come home unexpectedly.

Tell your relative to come to you.

Don't take chances with things you can't afford to take chances with, and this would be TOP of the list of things I wouldn't take chances with.

Absolutely not no.
Why would you take that risk?
And what kind of a person would harbour someone who was "unable to be around children"?

There is absolutely no way on gods earth. And your relative should understand.

The person who has (I assume) being caught viewing images of child abuse should not be in a house where children are present

The people who own the house (and presumably know what the first person has been accused of ) should not allow children to be in their house

Social services would take an extremely dim view of any parent allowing their children to be in this house when there is a risk of this person returning / presumably there have been no risk assessments carried out to assess the other adults ability to protect children

Absolute rubbish. By your logic, Jimmy Savile was innocent.

The saying is that people are presumed innocent in a court of law until proved guilty.

This person isn’t allowed around children at the moment. Innocent or guilty I wouldn’t be risking my own children’s safety on that gamble.

This person isn’t going to be at work 24 hours of the day. Don’t risk it.

Absolutely this.

OP, your attitude is a massive red flag. Can you really not see that even entertaining the idea of your children being anywhere near this situation is utterly unacceptable? This person has clearly been deemed by state authorities to not be safe around children, and to most parents the people still allowing this individual in their home are equally not to be trusted.

And what the hell does “until this is sorted out” mean? Again, to most parents, there is no “sorting out”. A benchmark has been reached with this individual whereby the authorities have been allowed to place significant restrictions on their liberty. To most parents once that benchmark has been reached, regardless of any subsequent legal decision, there is no return to life as it was before.

You need to ALWAYS choose your children’s safety first and foremost. So start acting like you understand that responsibility

A distant family member has gotten themself into a tricky situation where they can’t be around kids at the moment.

A tricky situation!! Come on OP!