Should i let my children be looked after this person?

[YourDenimTraybake]

This is a delicate matter…
just wanted to hear peoples views.

A distant family member has gotten themself into a tricky situation where they can’t be around kids at the moment.

They are currently staying at a family members house until this is sorted out. We haven’t been for a while because they are staying there and we have children. But we do visit often under normal circumstances.

My kids are supposed to going in a few weeks for the day. Under normal circumstances i would be happy for them to go. However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work.

Do you think it’s ok for my kids to still go. I’ve been told that they won’t be there at all whilst my kids are there.

I am a little worried, but only because I don’t wanna get into trouble doing the wrong thing.

Sorry if I’ve been vague. 🤦🏼‍♀️ don’t really know how to approach the situation.

NO!
Your post is a bit too vague but, if he cant be around kids and he is living at the house that you are considering sending them too and the hosts are happy for him to be there. I wouldn't trust their judgement tbh.
Then i would say a BIG FAT NO!

Can't be around kids, a tricky situation what the fuck is THAT about? What planet are you on OP?
Having to ask if you should let your kids stay although this person is at work, I presume they go home at the end of the day and you really have to ask if that's okay?
Unless ND on your part, I can't begin to think why you have to ask.

Not a chance.

However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work.

The kind of person who would take in a child abuser and / or paedophile is the kind of person who would also lie and tell you they will be at work.
And then have some cock and bull story about how they didnt know....
and it was an emergency ...
and actually its not a big deal as they were here nothing happened...
and because he wasnt really guilty he just pled guilty because his solicitor said to
blah fucking blah

This is because they are an enabler.
You cannot trust people like this to keep your children safe as they have poor /bad judgement.

No unsupervised contact from me and certainly not at that house.

No, unless they come to your place.

Absolutely not. You know the answer.

Bringing children to the home of a person who can’t be around children (even if they’re not in) is likely to be viewed badly by law enforcement or whatever supervisory body is restricting contact.

There’s obviously a reason you are happy to have the homeowners around your children so assume they are the parents of the person who can’t be around children. Perhaps also your parents, or DP’s. If you want to continue to spend time with them (and why wouldn’t you, since they’re innocent) then have them at your home.

I am not even sure I'd go for this.
They cannot be trusted as they have poor judgement

And good judgement seems to be in short supply all round.

On that basis I wouldnt be surprised if her mum/ dad /whoever might think its a good idea to bring the sex offender along to get fresh air or some other shite ... but he wont come in the house... except its raining so he cant go for that hike so it would be kind to let him come in... blah blah...

I honeslty think just no unsupervised contact until resolved.

No

No
No
A thousand times No

How do you think it might look to Social Services OP?

Hi Op

Have you got all the information on the restrictions on this person? ie. what sort of order is in place regarding them being around children?

I think you need to establish the facts - I would not risk it personally not because of the risk to my children but I would be concerned that any of the people involved were ignoring police/ court orders.

If you have to ask then the answer is no. They could turn up 'having finished work early' or happened to be sick that day. Don't take the chance.

Absolutely not.

No.

No - as it's too easy for the family member who should not be round kids to be around - home early etc especially if the allegiations are seen as false.

I'd get the other family member to come to you or meet kids somewhere neutral.

Absolutely no! Not even a question.

Do not take your children, they feel sorry enough for this person to allow them to live with them. I would deem them not trustworthy, plus an apologist for child sex abusers? I would want nothing to do with them either. Met too many people through voluntary work I did that’s lives were blighted from being abused as children.

I don’t have small children now but would not have cared if I offended someone by refusing to visit in those circumstances.

I'm actually disgusted and disturbed that you're even asking?

NO!

Of course you shouldn't.

Your post sounds like you don't believe the accusations against that person or are minimising them. There is nothing that would result in not being allowed around children that I would qualify as "a tricky situation". Your concern doesn't seem for your children but getting yourself in trouble for doing the wrong thing.

No, but I would make it possible for youR DC to see the relatives concerned at your home or at a neutral place when you are there, if the DC are missing them.

It would be a no for me to let my kids out of my sight in that house. Whatever it means.

The fact that your ONLY worry (and even then just a LITTLE worry) is that you don’t want to get into trouble for doing the wrong thing is ringing massive alarm bells to me. You don’t even mention any worry about your children’s wellbeing. What kind of parent even considers sending their kids to a house where they KNOW there is an adult living there who is not allowed to be around children (so therefore there is likely paedophilia or serious abuse on this persons part) and it doesn’t even occur to them to be worried about their kids safety?

Why do your kids need to go there anyway? You shouldn’t need this spelling out, but you clearly do from your OP - you need to tell this person that under NO circumstances will your children be visiting that person or their home for at LEAST the length of time this other person is living there. To be honest, I’d not want to be involved with them ever again if they’re so happy to house someone that’s a danger to children.

This sounds incredibly like a post I read in the last couple of weeks. Equally as vague but the poster had their daughters boyfriend living with her because he wasn’t allowed to be around her daughters child (I can’t remember if he was the father) but he wasn’t paying anything, was telling the poster to “shush” in her own home and I think she had another daughter who was being made to feel uncomfortable in her own home by him.

Well, I understand that the person accused hasn’t (from the post) been tried or convicted of anything. It’s not even clear what’s happened.

But, until that time, I’d keep my children away from him.