Being subjected to SM assault over a wallpaper

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I'm writing this with total incredulity.

A week or so ago I got invited to a friend-of-a-friend's house. The lady in question is clearly a Mrs Hinch type, but each to their own. I did notice wallpaper being unsealed around the cooker/sink area and POLITELY inquired about it. My DD was prem, with heavy lung issues, and one of the things nurses warned me about was wallpaper in the kitchen as a potential fungus/mould and toxin source. I didn't point this out, of course, just gently enquired if she plans to seal it.

She got a bit weird with me, apparently she wipes down her walls regularly, and don't I? Erm, that would make it worse with wallpaper, but I just smiled and nodded.

Now our mutual friend pointed out the absolute barrage of slander on SM. Apparently I was rude (wasn't, just lightly enquired about a sealant?) and "minging" for not cleaning my home properly (my home is kept clean to a post-NICU standard, IYKYK).

Safe to say, that person will be avoided at any cost in the future, but was I unreasonable?

On the face of it, yes the comment is rude. Unless your baby is going to be a frequent visitor to this woman's house, I'm not sure why it's your business if she has wallpaper by her sink or if it's peeling! Of course, she took offence, most people would! You don't go to someone else's house, and pick faults with it, regardless of how well meaning you may think you are in your own mind.

Somehow I don't think you'll be invited again!

I don't see anything wrong with what you said, maybe it was your tone?

I do think that she sounds like a fucking nightmare though.

Oh well, at least you've established early on that you're too different to ever be friends. And don't worry about the social media posts, honestly, anyone with half a brain who reads them will pick up straight away that's she's not a nice person.

If you weren’t going to inform her of the risk… then why inquire about the wallpaper?

i think it was rude to mention repairs that need doing in someones home you dont know very well and who had invited you to their home.
You are neuro diverse ? because you don't seem to understand social politeness,i understand to you it was factual and logical to ask about the repair t but its rude to comment on someones home in a negative way when they have invited you into their home.
I don't think it warranted a SM slagging off though and thats not nice .

She's already said she's ND

You were rude and cheeky

Yes agree with PPs that it was rude. We moved into a house that needed renovation and so obviously quite old fashioned but 'liveable' - I'll never forget having someone over for a coffee that I didn't know particularly well and she spent a lot of the time walking around the house laughing at how old-fashioned it was and making comments (things like "oh god! a BLUE carpet!!!!").

Don't comment unless you're asked your opinion!

Apologies, i hadn't read every post on the thread and have now seen the OP said she is "neurospicy" which is enlightening ....

People who describe themselves as being "quirky" are often other people's definition of utter pain in the arse too.

Yes, she to then goes on to say that she has a diagnosis of ASD and ADHD from the NHS...

This

I wipe or dust my painted walls frequently, yes. Especially in high traffic areas.

I can't say I've ever washed my wallpaper but then I've never been daft enough to use it in a place where regular washing/wiping would be necessary. The exception was when I once had it going up the stairs when the kids were little. Never again. Nightmare for grimy fingerprints that won't wipe off without taking the surface of the paper with it. Wallpaper is not designed to be washed or wiped.

Unless people are using that hideous shiny vinyl stuff?

Tbh it was clear from the issue OP describes that her thoughts and actions on incident weren't typical. To OP it was a logical enquiry with no comprehension that it may offend someone you dont know very well who has invited you into their home.
I think the OP was rude but think the "Mrs Hinch" type woman over reacted and i don't think anyone deserves being slagged off on SM for this matter.

I've never heard of 'neurospicy' but I'm guessing it's code for 'I've got no filter and I'm rude and difficult as fuck but I'm AuDHD so I'm not remotely accountable for rubbing people up the wrong way.'

Both unreasonable.

Maybe if you'd phrased it differently it wouldn't have come across as judgemental and rude,

eg, " this might not apply to you, but just in case it does, when we had our lo, we were advised to be careful with wallpaper as it can get mouldy underneath, especially where the seal is loose, causing health issues, which I'd hate for anyone to experience."

Even then, it will really depend on the person it's directed at, but at least adding the context of why you're pointing it out, would've made it sound less like a critique.

Unfair.

Does she have a premie baby just out the nicu?
If so your intentions were honourable , if not your were being weird

Yes, you were rude. And no, you haven’t been “assaulted”.

We had wallpaper in our kitchen in the 1970s that was waterproof and you just wiped it down. It was on the walls until 1987 - no mould problems. Same in the bathroom - and that was there til 2017! It was classic 70s and we begged our parents not to remove it so it stayed til they died. Unmouldy and pristine.

I suspect that 2020s technology has even better specialist kitchen wallpapers, and that OP's acquaintance has bought such a wallpaper.

to a person who has actually been assaulted it’s not
she’s bad mouthed you which is frustrating and upsetting especially if you cross paths again
but it’s only made her look unhinged, no name ,no shame
It’s yesterdays news
move on

You don't go to someone's house and make remarks about their decor. That is downright rude. Honestly!

I wouldn't even have noticed.

If you ask me, there’s nuance in the question.

Oh did you seal that wallpaper? - Probably fine
When are you sealing the wallpaper? - Not so much

Social media rant seems bananas regardless. If she was that offended, she doesn’t need to invite OP over again.

You're both weird and sound like a bunch of teenagers.

Some people don't like 'being told'.
If she is a 'Mrs Hinch type' she probs needs content for her SM.
V generous of you to provide it for her.

Wtf is neurospicey?? Are we supposed to know, or has op self styled as this (whatever it is)?