AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

I don't think your post is clear about what the perceived issue is?

What is it that you want/need and why?

I don't understand what clarification/validation you are looking for ? If you don't think you are neurodiverse or mentallly ill then what?

YANBU my observation (working in the NHS) is that talking therapies have not caught up with the increased emotional literacy that many people are developing.
The type of therapy available on the NHS is very validating and soothing (in my experience) but doesn’t really address the root cause of issues and doesn’t challenge your own behaviours and beliefs in the way that a private therapist could. I have observed this first hand.

In terms of the ND assessments, I would just ask why you feel you need it? I am fairly sure I have ADHD, but a diagnosis at this time wouldn’t really change anything so I just implement strategies to cope with it and at present that’s ok. In the future I could seek assessment/diagnosis if I was struggling but I don’t see the point while I am not.

The system is quite annoying though!

This. What's the problem?

What are you actually looking to achieve? If it's an understanding of how ND brains work, wouldn't reading around the subject help?

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious.

Can you explain what you mean by this? Struggling how, and curious about what?

It sounds like you want people to work for free to give you therapy or teach you psychobiology or something?

You want a service for people who are particularly cognitively able to explore what it is about their minds that make them so? I'd be very surprised if you couldn't find someone to indulge this if you're prepared to pay. However I'm not sure it's something the tax payer will get behind so you get it for free.

What are you talking about? What do you want or need?

Lots of people undertake degrees in psychology if that would cover what you're interested in? Or is it specific to your own characteristics you want to learn about - in which case this would be very bespoke and obviously unlikely to be cheap (as you have found).

Yep, there isn't capacity in the NHS. for people who are well and coping/thriving with ND to get assessment because they are curious about themselves.
I don't mean that harshly, it's just a fact.
My DD is a lot like that too - was offered an assessment in her early teens (when not coping) but declined. By her late teens she was doing well but curious and we knew she would no longer be offered the same.
So we used savings. Paid for a private assessment. Yes, it's not fair if you don't have the resources. But it's what it is. We went without something else to fund it.

wtf are you on about? What do you want/need to find out?

The NHS and private psychiatrists are literally there for sick/ill people not for learning about how your brain works.
If you want to understand your diagnosed condition that causes you NO problems (how did you meet the threshold for diagnosis?) then you need to do your own research or contact a researcher not a dr

If you can pay for it, I'm sure a private practice will assess you for everything under the sun and discuss how your mind works for as long as you please. Or you can go on courses if you're curious to get a better understanding of psychology and human behaviour. Or even religion will to some extent. But if there's nothing that actually a problem, then of course there's no set pathway in the public sector because it's your individual interest like any other to pursue.

If you’re not suffering then why do you need resources?

The NHS isn’t an infinite money pit, it’s to help people who needed it not to navel gaze at your own neuroses.

So you're coping with life perfectly well and have no cognitive dysfunction. Hmmm, I'd say just get on with it. Maybe do a Psychology A level to understand how minds work or something. Not sure what you're hoping to gain.

I'm really intrigued about exactly what it is you want to understand. It's not very clear from your post.

You’ve been assessed outside the UK as being “very cognitively able”? As in highly intelligent? Or good at exams? Or in old money - clever?

I don’t understand what this means and what support you are looking for in the UK.

😵‍💫

I mean a private phsychiatrist might be able to help you get to the bottom of what you want.

Governments pay for public assessments because it saves them money in the long run ( ie, get a diagnosis so you can understand yourself better so you can stay employed and pay taxes ). (Obviously this is a gross oversimplification)

There is no reason for them to pay for "just because" assessments.

Neuropsych is expensive because those assessments take hours / days of a professional's time, and that person needs to earn a living. You wouldn't expect a painter to just paint your house for free, "just because".

If you are a functioning, able, fine individual then you have to pay for your "curiosity"

Unless I've misunderstood something

What are you curious about?

I actually think nowadays you just have to dig and you’ll find a specific person that will help you with anything. You just have to get on the right path.

What exactly do you need? And what exactly do you want?
It’s two different things but both are unclear from your post by the way.
I don’t think there is any sort of issue in UK as no country provides a free / discounted service when there is no need.

I don't think it's a massive blindspot, I think it's just not needed as having people who are very cognitively able isn't a problem so tax money shouldn't go on this. Unless I have misunderstodd something it sounds like you have perhaps got caught up in a bit too much navel-gazing.

YABU if you think the state should somehow support your desire to understand your brain better just because you’re curious. If there was commercial demand for this then a private company would have been established. Have you looked for private companies? If there isn’t one I guess your interests are too niche to be catered for.