AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

I really don’t think you are alone in this, in fact I would say you were in the majority!

@Maybeasd There's a scientist that studies brains and everything associated with them on YT. What about contacting him?

His life's work is looking at scans and recognising why criminals are ...criminals and why some children develop in the way they do based on verifiable brain architecture etc. I think he would already have the answers you seek?

Try chat gpt it's been quite useful in helping me dissect my sensory needs and cognitive style etc.

Otherwise have you tried a private occupational therapist. I think that's what they're supposed to do.

You may be exceptionally gifted but you’re not very good at explaining yourself

I have to say this sounds like one of those outdated diagnoses like visual stress, minimal brain impairment, that don't stand up under further research and have now been phased out. 2e I get the impression is made up for Silicon Valley types who can't believe their DC isn't gifted.

If you or your child has ASD, ADHD etc. no professional is going to be able to tell you why one child has a problem with school ties while another one is fine. Same with you - you aren't going to find out why some stimuli help you and some don't.

I think you sound very hung up on your cognitive ability, and it makes me wonder about whether this is very tied to your self-worth?

Most private therapists will work with you to help you to understand yourself. They well have more on advertising about helping people who are struggling, because that's the majority of their work, but that doesn't mean they won't see you. As part of a number of types of therapy training we are asked to have therapy to understand ourselves better despite not being unwell. It isn't that rare.

But, it's maybe worth thinking carefully about how the process might be, to be sure you aren't just looking for a 3rd party to validate your beliefs. That's rarely the role of a good therapist.

We are in a time period where the NHS is really struggling and disjointed. Services are being stripped to the minimum, so it's definitely going to be harder to get medical diagnoses for things that don't have treatments or aren't actually disabling you currently.

There's nothing to stop you doing your own research and trying to understand yourself, although it's hard to know where to start I'm sure.
If you think you don't actually need any strategies to manage, or validation of any difficulties, then what is it you are wanting to understand?
By labels, do you mean diagnoses?

Honestly it sounds like you're just looking for someone to tell you you're brilliant?

And I'm sure you are, but I'm not sure specifically what else you need to know - you seem aware of the fact that you're 'exceptional', particularly gifted, that you have hyperphantasia, etc - I don't really know, other than enjoying it, what you're looking to find out? It seems like reassurance-seeking to me: it's clear you put a lot of stock in this being 'who you are'.

The NHS is busting at the seams and you want them to spend money on satisfying the curiosity of someone who is fine?

Look around to see if anyone is doing a study on it and offer yourself as a test subject.
Of course you run the risk of finding out you don't have what you think you have.

Is this not where something like the super analytical “life coaching” would help op?

Why would there be an NHS pathway for someone curious about their identity?

NHS pathways are for people sick or disabled by their condition

You can read up about personality types & differences etc in the vast amount of info on the subject online.

Alternatively there are life coaches & private therapists who can talk through this with you.

Someone of high cognitive ability should be able to find out about brain function etc from reading and learning about neuropsychology in text books and academic papers. From what you’ve written, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to find anyone who is knowledgeable/intelligent enough to understand your ability or explain it to you - all the resources you need are already in your head.

It's good to be curious about your own brain, and you can find whatever wormhole you're looking for on reddit etc, but you're in danger of believing your own hype about being super-special.

LOL this

Can you just see a neuropsych remotely? Like am american one? Theyre more about introspection. As others have said, in england, we are not going to pay for something where theres no need so it means that kind of thing is less likely to exist

Perhaps look at universities doing neuroscience or psychology research into these areas and see if you'd be able to volunteer as a study participant.

Or maybe go (back?) to university and start on the path to doing the research yourself. It might satisfy your personal and intellectual curiosity.

So far I have two particular set of triggers… I’ve had other in the past, but I haven’t experienced them in year (like numbers and letters glowing for example).

These days it’s particular songs and they all have a different response. One of them makes me immediately clinch my fists and my jaw, especially during the last riff, the experience once over is quite relaxing.

Another song, makes me see shadows dancing in the desert ( like in augmented reality), another one is a similar experience but with souls ascending to heaven.

Yes, this isn't some sort of very specialist skill or condition. Many many people have physical and emotional reactions to different types of music. What has led you to believe that this is particularly unusual or indeed exceptional?

Have you ever seen a neurologist?

Struggling to believe that the OP is so cognitively able that she has had to come onto mumsnet to complain (in a poorly written manner) that no provision has been made for her to find out more about herself. Surely an actually capable person would figure that out for themselves?

So the two that got recommended to me, one told me that at least a few of the tests needed to be done in person. The other one I’m still waiting for a reply.

although to be fair going to Rhode Island is probably cheaper than the £5k one clinic (who I don’t even know if it’s within their core of specialties) they can offer.

There are OU courses that look at brains - if a more general view of how brains work and unual case would help?

https://www.open.ac.uk/courses/modules/sk298/
https://www.open.edu/openlearn/health-sports-psychology/critically-exploring-psychology/content-section-1.4

I did one that looked at case studies which helped researchers work out which bits of the brain did what.