AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

Take a trip to a country that you think provides this service then.

I am going to say this bluntly OP.

You are on here saying that you can’t find a neuropsychologist who is interested in this and complain they are too expensive and too busy trying to help people with brain injuries.

Seriously… think about that!

There's a predictable amount of 'snark' on this thread considering you can very much read your OP as wanting someone to explain your own brilliance to you. And as many others have said you definitely won't get any NHS services if there's nothing 'wrong' health-wise. I wonder if what would help you (privately of course) is an Occupational Psychologist? Clue is in the name in that they usually are focussed on people's work and careers but they provide a whole range of psychometric testing (some of which I think is total snake oil by the by but the point is really to provoke discussion and self-reflection rather than the tests being diagnostic in themselves), cognitive functioning assessment and if needed counselling or coaching as to the results. You might at least find this interesting? I've given a link but you can Google occupational psychology and find lots of private providers. I have referred several people at work into this kind of assessment and process, usually people who on the surface at least are very intelligent and successful in their careers, to be fair there's usually also some 'problem' to provoke the referral usually to do with interpersonal issues, workplace conflict, stress or anger management etc but if you're paying for yourself I don't see why you couldn't go just out of interest and for self-development?

https://theprivatetherapyclinic.co.uk/services/psychometric-testing/

one issue here is that I think that you think ‘science has the answers to everything I just need to find out who’s doing this bit’. Sadly it doesn’t and especially with regards to how the brain works - that’s partly why there ARE YouTubers doing interesting stuff that there isn’t currently answers to.

as has been suggested by others your best bet is to do the research yourself - do a degree and then specialise and study you and other individuals like you. You could become the expert in the field!

One of my best friends has a similar version with maths - she sees numbers and equations as colours and blends and her abilities are truly weird (and amazing) - she designs flight systems for helicopters with it. No-one has the faintest idea why or how it works

They do exist in the US, so why not here?

This is a bit self-indulgent. We'd all like to understand a bit more about how we 'tick' and why we feel the way that we do, but for most of us real life and actual responsibilities take precedent over the naval gazing.

For me, I'd like to keep the NHS looking after people with health conditions that prevent them from living their lives, rather than validating curiosity about oneself.

Yes, I have exactly the same! I currently don’t work with numbers in the same way, so not as exposed to it.

But when looking at data is almost like a “matrix” experience, the patterns “flash” for lack of a better word.

Perhaps you could move to the US? It maybe more suitable for your needs.

Nothing wrong health-wise

Are we sure there isn't?

OP describes fist and jaw clenching and hallucinations. Has she seen a neurologist to rule out an unusual presentation of epilepsy or other seizure disorder (for eg)?

Because we don't have a consumer driven model of medicine where everyone gets what they want rather than what they need (which might be the opposite - if you are ruminating on this then going out for a walk might be the best thing).

You sound very self-absorbed.

It’s not a seizure because I can engage/disengage .

I have a start/stop function in that sense.

Sounds like you’re looking for a life coach with a psychology background. Not a psychotherapist… or maybe you could take a psychology qualification to learn more? Clinicians are there to help people with an issue not to teach you their evaluation techniques and cognitive theory.

Take classes and then you can apply the theory to yourself.

You do no autistic people can be very very smart. There's soooooo many spectrums out there of autism I unfortunately didn't gift the smart autistic trait instead I got adhd with a side of dumbness I guess if I really put my mind to something I can be smart but then my adhd crops up and is like ha nooope. I'm not really sure what your wanting but maybe just self analyse yourself with books and Internet 🤷‍♀️

privately you could get a ND/SpLD assesment done, which will offer you a whole weath of tests that can then look at how you would be expected to perform, graded for the intellectual/cognitive abilities you possess. This is generally used to rule out learning challenges like dyslexia etc but will show you your relative abilities in 9 different working sections of the brain. An educational psychologist might be able to do this, or in my case a clinical psychologist who was doing an ADHD/ASD assesment privately.

You can then go on and look at all the other stuff they test for. Again it is compared to what would be expected of someone with the intellectual capabilities of the first tests.

Of course a diagnosis of ASD is unlikely if you dont face challenges or differences from the normal range in the 3 areas that are typical. I would say though that I would have thought I was doing/coping well, but until the dioagnosis I wasnt really aware of how far from the norm many of my mixed profile of abilities were.

If I'm reading this right, your main issue seems to be that other people (professional or otherwise) don't find your brain as special and fascinating as you do.

Is there a possibility that it's not special and fascinating?

Maybe because private healthcare is the norm in the US so funding, research and specialisim has better funding,also the uk is a tiny island in comparison, not to be snarky surely you could have worked that out,

What you're describing isn't a unique experience, not by any stretch. When you say you want to know "why", do you mean the brain architecture itself? So something you'd need a prolonged MRI scan for? Because I don't think medical science is at the stage of understanding the interplay of the subtle brain differences we all have.
It doesn't sound like you want a diagnosis of anything (you probably wouldn't get one, just a descriptive phrase at best).

You obviously see your brain as fascinating (which everyone's are!) but also in some way significantly different from other people, in the sense that it's better and more interesting than anyone else's. So are you looking for proof of that view? Or else, what do you actually mean by "why is my brain like this"?

If it's any consolation, the majority of people enjoy social situations but find a huge number of people boring and dull.

If I want to know about e.g how my heart pumps blood around my heart i would have to research and study it. Possibly with an OU course. So if i apply that to your post, it sounds like researching relevant college/uni modules is the answer (there being no medical need or ASN).

Well there's 280million more people in the US than the UK for a start, and there's more emphasis on the self culturally, plus their healthcare model is vastly different and will charge the wealthy for no end of self-exploration as long as they're paying $$$ for it while those with no money can't get the fundamentals.

It's odd how your exceptional cognitive abilities keep failing you on the obvious. Guess it comes down to the difference between intelligence and common sense.

As for the triggers, agree they're not that unusual or fascinating/worthy of study. People have all kinds of different things going on in their minds that only become something for pros to engage with when they cause a problem. And there's more than enough people struggling in many ways now to keep the pros busy.

Not as bright as you claim as its fairly obvious why. The US system is totally different to the UK as you well know it's insurance based. It's also 5 times the population. Americans are also much more self obsessed than us Brits. We don't think we are owed anything and that the world revolves around us. There is a market for that kind of thing over there. Here we think that's part of my personality and get on with our lives. The NHS is for sick people who need help and we don't want it wasted on non issues when it is tax payer funded.

Hmm. Well I've just done a couple of hyperphantasia tests and scored maximum points on both. So maybe I'm hyperphantasic too. But if it's 3% that's one in 33 people so really pretty common. Vaguely interesting, but now I'll just carry on going about my day and probably forget about it. I would imagine that's a standard response to finding out your brain does something most people's doesn't.

The fact that you are obsessed with this suggests either a measure of ND (but if it doesn't make your life difficult who cares), or self-absorption, or a natural curiosity. The latter would be best addressed by doing your own research into a little understood area, rather than paying someone to put you in a box by pretending they know more about your brain than you do.

And most people find most other people boring, also normal. That's why we aren't close friends with everyone we meet.

Oh dear God

Sorry I've no idea what your talking about