When should elderly parents downsize?

[Hogwartsian]

My parents are in their early eighties and still healthy and fit. They have a large 5 bed house with a large garden. They are still managing to maintain it, for now. I'm just wondering if there's a point when they should prepare for the day they can't manage it all anymore, and downsize to something more suitable?

Is anyone else in this situation? Or when did your parents downsize?

When they want to. Mine are heading towards 90 and still in our original family home, its in a better state than mine

My mum is the same age. She once talked about it but now I think she'll never actually do it.

When they decide they want to.

My parents downsized significantly in their 60s but that was nothing to do with their health - they’re as fit as fiddles - they just wanted to release some of the equity in their house to spend on holidays!

Could they live downstairs if they had to? It’s probably too late now to move house don’t you think?

In an ideal world, in their 70's as 80's tends to be the decade when life gets a bit more difficult.

Ultimately though, it's whenever they choose to or, from personal experience with elderly family members, when poorer health eventually forces them.

When they're ready.

Totally up to them to decide.

I’m 67 and thinking of moving to a bungalow when my son moves out hopefully this year. Moving feels perfectly managable at the moment. I’ll have quite a bit of declutterring to do. I don’t think I would want to leave it much longer as it’s such an upheaval and the older you get the harder things get. I want to enjoy planning the decor and styling new home exactly how I want it.

I think if your parents were to move now they would never settle in a new home and would need a lot of help (from you?) to downsize from a 5 bed. It might be easier to adapt their current home

Ideally before they need to but most won’t as it’s admitting defeat and aging.

However if their downstairs is set in away where you could just live downstairs and hire a Gardener then they will be fine forever.

I downsized aged 46 when my DC left home. My 94yr old neighbour has moved to her ground floor, leaving two floors unused. My parents, in their 80s, are still in their silly sized house although DF has been known to be caught browsing bungalows on Rightmove.

When they feel like it I guess?
My parents sold the family home and bought a 3 bed bungalow once my younger brother had settled down. They've totally knocked it about over the past few years and made it 2 bed with a ensuite, dressing room and a home office/library.
Sadly it came with mum getting a stage 4 cancer diagnosis, but 2 years in she's still doing well, and completely bored because she had to medically retire.

PiL are still in the family home and are making adaptations ready for when theyre older.

All parents are mid 50s- early 60s.

About 5 years before they need to. Sorry, not helpful. My parents are nearly at the point of no return where house and yard are far too big for them to manage a move themselves, but they also won’t accept help.

If they’re going to do it then I’d say sooner rather than later.
If they do it now they can be in control of what and where and the timing.
If they wait until there is some sort of crisis then they may find it all much more stressful than it needs to be.

Depends on a few different factors

Late 60s/70s (or earlier) good if moving into a smaller property / different area eg to be near family. Have more time and energy to build a new life

could move later but might end up moving straight to assisted living.

do they live near family?

I’d say sooner rather than later. It’s better for them to do it when they’re fit enough to sort most of it themselves rather than wait for one of them to suddenly break a hip or get ill, and the whole thing becomes a much bigger/more stressful job for everyone.

When their backs start creaking.

Based on my parents example, before they reach their 80s. Mine were doing fine right up to when they weren't then moving was very traumatic, esp for my dad who (as it turned out) was developing dementia.

My in-laws meanwhile moved to a large bungalow with a huge garden in their 70sand again are struggling with its upkeep in their 90s. Its not lack of money, it's lack of energy. They'd like to move somewhere smaller but they just cant face the upheaval.

Ideally before they need to but most won’t as it’s admitting defeat and aging

This! You need to do it in your 60s/70s. In your 80s for the majority it’s too late.

My parents decided they couldn’t be arsed with the hassle of moving and will just get a gardner and a cleaner when they can’t manage any more.

Great Uncle Geoff on the other hand, decided to move house at the age of 87, because he “fancied somewhere with a bigger garden”

You need to downsize before you actually need to downsize. If my parents are anything to go by, it will simply become in the too hard basket, and they will stay where they are.

Obviously the answer to the question as you have phrased it is “when they want to”.

Bus answering the underlying question (which might be phrased as “when might they benefit from moving”), from experience I’d say by age 80. Our older relatives have all been very fit into early 80s but then found things to be much more difficult by leaps and bounds rather than by linear progression. A bad bout of flu never fully recovered, a minor accident causing permanent discomfort etc.

My mum and my in laws are both still in huge houses. Neither have any intention of down sizing. They have gardeners to look after the garden but still looking after the houses themselves, my in laws in particular can’t face the hassle and I can’t say I blame them.

😅 Loving great uncle Geoff!!!

My MIL never downsized. She engaged the services of a gardener and a cleaner, when things got too much for her. We did suggest she downsized but she wouldn’t hear of it.

It’s completely up to your parents op.

I'll be downsizing early 60s. My eighty odd year old parents have never planned ahead and we lurch from emergency to emergency. I'm so determined not to be like them.