Really disturbed by response to this horrible incident

[Xoxka]

Recently I was at Kings Cross. On my way to meet a friend. When this middle aged guy saw me and said something along the lines of “oh my god how beautiful, her face”. The two younger guys who he was with had to physically restrain him ans he was trying to walk in my direction. And they honestly were struggling. They were maybe 10 metres away from me but I was genuinely afraid. I’m 27 and incredibly active but only 5 ft 3. I was surrounded by people but worried I was going to be groped. Plus I really don’t like drawing any attention whatsoever if I can help it. Naturally VERY shy.

Ive recounted this incident to three people (all women of varying ages) and they’ve all mentioned the part about me being called beautiful. Like it’s a compliment. Ie that should be the takeaway. The man was physically intimidating to me! I was genuinely scared I was going to be attacked.

I just find this response very very depressing. Would the women around you not express sympathy if you were to tell them of a similar encounter?

I actually can’t believe some people on here are still wanging on about a ‘compliment’. Jesus Christ I thought we’d moved on from the 90’s. How depressing

I also can’t believe the comments.

Great victim blaming mumsnet. Ops only crime is being a woman.

The excuses are bollocks.

I get that, I was just explaining how it comes across to others. My friend uses a couple of emojis in a way that unintentionally makes her seem like she’s being a dick.

The women (I presume) on this thread falling over themselves to excuse this behaviour is depressing.
The internalised misogyny amongst women needs so much work.

It wasn’t intentionally to be a dick, being ND, I can often come across that way unfortunately.

PPs are assuming that it's a MH problem because it definitely wasn't a normal thing to do .

The reason you're posting in here about it is because you don't think it's normal behaviour either .

You're away from there now, try not to worry any more about it .

Whle I'm sure the OP is attractive etc, she didn't see it as a compliment and it probably wasn't a compliment either from a clearly unhinged man. The man is dangerous.

Nobody is excusing the behaviour posters are offering possibilities of the reasons behind the behsviour ,that is very different to excusing the behaviour.

This 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Why do you feel the need to apologise? You were the one who was nearly assaulted.

Im not being at all rude and im sure you are lovely, but as his friends were holding him back is there a possibility he was drunk? Not negating how you felt, im sure it was scary ,but if alcohol was involved it may be the reason he acted like it. Hope you are able to to feel better soon

Who’s to say he was drunk? No one can establish for certain anything about the individual as we wasn’t there. We can only make assumptions and give our our opinion/view

Whether he was mentally ill or just a bastard is immaterial. OP had a horrible frightening experience and has now had it minimised twice, first by her friends and then by MN posters. Why is everyone centring this bloke rather than the woman he intimidated? I’m sorry this happened to you, it sounds really unpleasant. And I’m sorry your friends thought you should be happy about it.

Is being drunk an excuse for sexual aggression?

OP most likely realises there could be reasons for the behaviour, one being he is a bad man, others being disabilities etc, but that isn’t why she posted.

She posted as she was shocked that the women she knows would tell her to take it as a compliment, which is awful.

Why are posters so desperate to give reasons for why he acted that way anyway? The fact is OP felt intimidated and scared and was wondering why women told her to take it as a compliment when she expressed her fear.

I personally think you overreacted OP and you’re lucky he was stopped from doing something. I’m from a time when cat calling and so on was common though.

Report to police or British Transport Police if you really think this encounter warrants this. And I’m sorry he made you feel unsafe and scared.

GOod for her. DIsgusting

" I’m 27 and incredibly active but only 5 ft 3"

This reads so strangely

He might have been drinking .. not an insult to you but his actions seem weird …

i had a fella who had clearly been drinking come
up to me at a family function and told me his age .. 44 and that you’re only as old as the woman you feel .. I’m 62 😂he was clearly drunk 🥴… and I didn’t tell him my age either .. hubby came up to me and he sat back down .. hopefully this is a one off for you 👍 .. .. he’s likely done it before and it’s not right at all .. he’s a coward and wouldn’t have likely haggled done that if you were with someone ..
i hope you’re ok 👍

He wasn't out of control. He was restrained and nothing happened. That is the purpose of two carers being with them in public.

He should be allowed outside because he is a human being FFS. You can't seriously be advocating for the mentally disabled to be excluded from society? No one thinks that is acceptable these days.

Part of being a member of society is tolerating the mentally disabled. Women and girls aren't dealing with them, THEIR CARERS ARE.

IM nearly 70 so can also recall those times…very glad they are in the past although judging from this account they aren’t. . Why on earth is she overreacting???? would you like your daughter to be in this situation, It’s about time men grew up

Totally agree!!!!!

OP hasn’t done that.

I reserve the right to call out anyone who is being dismissive of a woman's experience of being made to feel unsafe because of the actions of men.

I make no apologies for it. I think it's abhorrent tbqh.