Ex doesn’t want our child more than every other weekend!

[SassyCrab]

Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago and he has said he can only have our child every other weekend which is usually a 7pm pick up Friday and late drop off Sunday. But I’m just find it overwhelming at the minute doing everything by myself accept 4 times in a month, when I try to have an adult conversation about it he will just say “this is what you wanted so you will have to suck it up” and that “he still needs a life” it’s not fair that our child only sees his dad every 2 weeks for a short space of time. I understand he works 5 days a week and his hours are long but something needs to be done as I’m doing absolutely everything why he basically lives his life as he wants. If I took this further with court, I’m not asking 50:50 I just want more than 4 times in a month! Would they honour more time or take it as he still doing something?

Thing is if I was to split with my DH, he would WANT to have my children as much as he could as he loves them and loves being a parent ……. I am not sitting on my high horse and there is an element of luck, however, I feep people need to know who they are procreating with.

Statistically insignificant!

But if the courts aren’t forcing the dads to have their kids more than they ‘want’, mums are by default being forced to be sole carer for their child for perhaps longer than they want or feel they can manage but that’s okay?! You can still end up in a situation where the child is with a reluctant care giver. But that’s okay because it’s the mum and she’s just expected to get on with it regardless of any support she wants or needs. How is this fair?

You only know how your DH behaves now in your family unit. You have no idea how he'll actually behave if you split up, particularly years down the line when he may have remarried/have a partner. I can tell you from experience men can move on from being devoted dad to not interested. I'd certainly climb down from that horse.

According to CMS 7% of paying parents are female. The percentage is higher (ONS) if you include widowers, dad's not claiming cms, etc and it's growing. So certainly a much lower number of dads as main carer, but not statistically insignificant.
I personally know of two mothers who walked away from their kids several years after separating from the dad. There was no discussion or agreement, the dads stepped up because if they hadn't the kids would be in care. One had severe mental health problems but went straight on to have more kids with another man.
The other mother is just a selfish, self centred person who did it partly to try to hurt the father.
I feel all parents should have to parent. It's disgusting that they walk away and think it's not their responsibility any more.

You can't force him to see his child OP and neither can a court. My ex does six hours, most Sundays and maybe 7 nights a year. During covid, he did nothing for two years except an occasional video call.

Find a good babysitter or another single mum to share with, and build a support team that doesn't include your ex.

The chances are your ex will meet a new woman and cut his time with your child even more. Or go awol. Sorry.