I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

That's not me, id stay in pjs and stick a film on TV.

Yea and did. I was hospitalised several times from being 6 weeks pregnant with dd due to HG. Dd's dad worked permanent nights so I was regularly in charge of my young dsc and keeping them occupied whilst he slept.

You just get on with it.

Plenty of people do.

i had morning sickness and felt fatigued & I still got up to deal with my child and go to work etc. I also dealt with my child if hubby went out and had too many especially if isn’t a regular occurrence. It was his leaving do, she even said she agreed he could go to it (not that I think a partner should get permission for, me & hubby just tell each other when we’re out. I would never seek his consent for this) I would assume within granting him permission to go out there is an understanding he may be drunk and need some of the next morning to recover. She’s annoyed he came back at 1am & didn’t get up at 6am because she was close to being sick. So close in fact she managed to start a full blown row without chucking her guts up. I’ve had morning sickness and sickness in general and when that wave hits I’m to busy concentrating on breathing and getting the feeling to subside I doubt I’d have the energy to do what she was able to so I think it’s safe to assume a little exaggeration has been applied.

What a hero

No no no. Grown adults that are parents do not need to drink so much they can't parent the next day. It's a vile culture we have, that it's normal to go out and get drunk. Have a pint, have a glass of wine. You do not need to drink so much you can't function. Honestly, don't become a parent if you are so immature that you can't have a nice evening with friends without drinking until 1am.

'Can't function'

It was 6am. He had got in at 1am. I don't drink alcohol, but if someone tried heaving me out of bed after 5 hours sleep, I would not be happy. We don't know how much he had to drink.

Oh get over yourself.

At no point did the op say that her dh was drunk. Just that he had a few drinks and got in at 1am.

And even if he was drunk it does not excuse her being abusive towards him.

He is not innocent, he should not have sworn at her, but she weaponiaed her children in something they had no business being dragged into.

Absolutely not a hero, just doing what thousands of women do every day. so you can drop the sarcasm.

Pregnancy is shit but it does not excuse willfull abuse

How happy do you suppose OP was at being got out of bed by one kid falling out of bed and again by another wetting themselves? How much less than five hours sleep do you suppose OP had? We don't know how sick, how tired or how much of a headache OP had from being pregnant. But we know DH either had too much to drink and was incapable of helping or was tired after staying out until the early hours and unwilling to help. Either way, his supporters on here must be cheering him on.

No link then.

And some women suffering from morning sickness are unable to function and need rest and support. Just because YOU managed doesn’t mean it’a like that for everyone.

I was hospitalised with HG in each pregnancy - bit of a struggle to look after anyone’s DC from a hospital bed.

When at home I could no more have safely looked after children than I could have walked on a broken leg. I was on enforced bedrest between hospital visits when it was at its worst. The other women I knew in the same boat were under similar regimes until it eased (or not).

Rather like migraines - there are those who describe every minor headache as a migraine and those who get migraines.

Oh my god, are you deliberately missing the point? It was his leaving do. A special event. OP could not bear the fact he was doing something enjoyable while she was struggling with the kids, so decided to be spiteful by punishing him with the water.

We don't know what DH is like for the rest of the time, so we don't know if this is a regular event or if he gets up every night to deal with the kids. But in the absence of all the information, we can only go by what OP has told us, in which case she was being massively unreasonable.

We will never know because OP hasn’t returned after the massive pile on. He knows she is struggling and still chose to get himself into a situation where he couldn’t help, and was verbally abusive to her and the children.

OP shouldn’t have snapped but it sounds like she’s married to an awful man

So glad you did that to the lazy abusive prick that you're married to. Well done. Perfect response.

The alcohol is a complete red herring. Even stone-cold-sobar I would not be getting up at 6am after less than 5 hours sleep when id pre-arranged with my spouse that I was celebrating a special occasion.

That is horrible he's allowed a few extra hours in bed after his leaving do !!!

But yet it’s deemed acceptable for the the pregnant mother to get up on fewer hours sleep? What absolute double standards! Plus her feeling ill is not my choice.

what are you on about anyway, red herring 😂 the alcohol is everything to do with this. What good husband gets himself into a condition where he is unable to parent when he is aware of how sick his partner is feeling?

Because there is absolutely no indication that alcohol is the reason for not getting up, rather than lack of sleep. He may have only had a couple of drinks.

The pregnant wife agreed to him going out, so yes, she's agreed to getting up despite the lack of sleep because it was a one-off special celebration.

If the post was about the DH doing this every weekend, it would be entirely different.

People still arguing about this bollocks?
OP probably long gone to buy a bigger spoon

Once you have waking kids and a pregnancy to deal with you adjust your behaviour. He should have enjoyed his special occasion without getting too pissed or tired to get up.

You actually know nothing about this man at all, except that he went out on his work leaving do and got drunk, then told OP and kids to FO whilst being woken after 5 hours of sleep and hungover.

Whereas OP gives herself away even in her own account, multiple times.

If OP was being routinely abused, she wouldn't have dared to wake her abuser in this situation, and then douse him with water. Those of us who have been in an abusive relationship see that very clearly, and also that an abusive man in that situation would not have got up and dealt with the kids in the end.

OP has no fear of him, and no self-doubt or worry that she could be wrong. Because this is not a woman who has been ground down by abuse.

If you get into a dunken state when you have young children and a sick, pregnant wife st home, you are,
A. A drunk;
B. A cunt; or
C. Both.

You will never get any sense out of a person who's sole purpose on the thread is to create a false narrative of man as victim, woman as abuser. The poster is using the OPs actions to shield a man who won't help his pregnant and unwell wife and who tells his family to fuck off. Either that is based in deeply held misogyny, or some type of MRA. If its the latter it's misguided. As if the aim is to get DVA against men taken seriously, this sort of ridiculous hyperbole has the opposite effect.