I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

The OP was abusive. I’m not denying that. However, this…

if he said FO to the kids, that's her fault for weaponising them in her controlling and trying to force him out of bed.

Nope! His own actions are his responsibility and his to manage.

Another unholy mess of a relationship. Two parents horrible to each other, but won't stop breeding ☹️. As always- poor children!

it is her fault for putting her kids IN that situation. They wouldn't have been there for him to say 'fuck off' too if she hadn't involved them in her abuse.

Yes, exactly. Thats what I ment. Just behave like a responsible adult when you are a parent.

The way i see it is this.

She either knows he is the kind of man to say 'fuck off' to her and her children, and willingly put her children in that situation, then retaliated with her own abuse by 'squirting' water all over him.

Or it's a one off thing of him still being hungover and annoyed, and he's never done it before.. and her response to him being upset, was to abuse him right back.

Great.. lovely situation for the kids to be in. Fab parenting all around there then.

Agree with this

Interesting that after hearing him say such a horrible thing she decided to escalate it further. Why would you do that?

you have repeatedly drawn conclusions which just aren’t rooted in any fact. OP says the kids tried to get him up. Why do you say she set the kids on him?
enjoy your life pleasing loser men ☺️ have a good evening!

victim blaming much?

she isnt the victim

She’s not a victim,

Depends what tone it was said.. if it was a angry FUCK OFF then probably wouldn’t have done

if it was a ‘sigh’ oh fuck off then I’m sure we have all said that.

im sure that is wasn’t aimed at the children, who brought the children into the situation? Oh yes, the OP

OP says that he told ‘us’ I.e. her and the children to fuck off. Why are you ‘sure it wasn’t aimed at the children’? Also, where does it say OP brought the children in?

In what abuse?

i have neither the patience or crayons to keep explaining it to someone so committed to their current level of understanding.

I can't help someone who doesn't understand that spraying your spouse with water, TWICE, just because he doesn't want to get up at 6am on less than 5hrs sleep is abusive.

that’s fine, keep your energy for defending bare minimum men 🥱🥱🥱

You justified the husband telling his kids to fuck off as you said OP brought them into the abuse. When queried on what the abuse was, you said it was the spraying of water, which came after the husband telling them to fuck off. Therefore, your point makes no sense. I don’t think this conversation needs to be continued.

the abuse is the whole incident, from the moment she began trying to force a potentially still drunk, if not very hungover man out of bed at 6am, being told no, then choosing to involve the children to continue trying to force him to get up, to squirting him not once, but twice, and telling him if he didn't get up, she'd keep doing it until he DID get up.

Its controlling, physically abusive, emotionally abusive, and coercive abuse.

did he tell her to FO? Yes. Did he tell the kids to FO? probably, should he have done it? no... but if she hadn't involved them, they wouldn't have been there.

As i said. she either knows he does that, and willingly exposed her kids to the risk of it, or it's a one off and she retaliated by being abusive in front of her children

I don't understand why you are struggling with that?

This!!! 100%

I’d like to know why you say OP involved the kids? The mental gymnastics and random assumptions to paint this woman as an abuser and the husband as an innocent angel are astonishing!

There are a lot of mental gymnastics on this thread, you're right there. Mainly by you.

How’s that dear?

she involved them the moment she allowed them to try waking up their dad, who had already said to her he wasn't getting up/or just refused to acknowledge her attempts.

You know my stunning spouse who doused me in water? He was also the kind of man who would tell me to 'fuck off' if he didn't want to get up. You know what i didn't do? Let the kids try and wake him because i didn't want them to be exposed to his grumpy ass in the morning. They weren't allowed to even TRY and wake him up, so were never in a position to be told to 'fuck off' by a drunk man.

The OP is apparently fine with putting her kids in that situation though.. so no. you don't get to wave her kids around as a victim marker when she exposed them to it.

Dear? 🤨

As you've said upthread, you have your own personal trauma going in regarding this, and have spent hours and hours telling everyone who disagrees with you that they are wrong and making things up, whilst you make up narratives to paint her as a poor downtrodden wife and him as an evil bastard.

The truth is she agreed, he behaved according to their agreement, and then she changed the rules after the fact. Did he behave impeccably when she woke him up after 5 hours and a late night of agreed upon drinks? No. Was op being a dick and punishing him. Yes.

For the sake of your own mental health and past trauma you're probably better taking a step back from this thread (but you won't).

Have you considered that, much like you said to me, you may be biased by your own experience?

It’s very sad that you feel it ok to excuse any poor behaviour on DH’s part but not on OP’s, and you actually blame DH’s abuse on OP. This may be because you see yourself as a ‘better’ victim (as you’re saying you wouldn’t have let your kids be exposed to this behaviour).

For the record I’ve clearly said I don’t agree with the water spraying, but DH initiated the poor behaviour and OP reacted. How do you know the kids didn’t come into the bedroom of their own accord? Wouldn’t that be DH ‘allowing’ them to come in just as much as OP?

I really feel sorry for people like you. I hope you heal!