Is this cheating, would you forgive this?

[Meg878o]

Husband was dismissed from work a month ago and has now been sacked following a full investigation. Reason being that he said sexually inappropriate words at work, derogatory jokes, he was in a team leader position, saying to his workmates that customers were 'fit' and had nice boobs etc, commenting on their bodies in general, telling female workmates that they're attractive and in good shape. Would appreciate any views on this?

Not cheating but grim behaviour.

It’s not cheating. But I would certainly not want to be with him any more. Or even in the same house as him.

Is it cheating? No
would I forgive? Yes
would I stay married to him? Not a fucking chance.

The only possibility that I might forgive it is if:

• he is not very bright in general and you think he wouldn't have thought through the consequences of his actions (eg contributing to a misogynistic society)

• the whole workplace had a culture of doing this and he was a bit of a sheep and going along with it thoughtlessly

• now it's been pointed out to him he is massively hugely enormously apologetic and regretful

If all these apply, I would think he has made a big mistake in his behaviour and thinking, but I'd support him turning it around.

If not, curtains.

Worse than cheating for me. I wouldn’t forgive this or cheating but I’d rather have a husband who cheated than one who sexually harasses other women.

It's not a question of Cheating.

He's been determined to be a predator.

Do you want to be with a predator? Do you want to introduce him as "my boyfriend, the predator." Do you want him to touch you? Talk around your kids like that? Minimise it as banter?

By itself, not cheating, but eugh. Get rid.

Not cheating but what a jerk. Has he done anything like this before?

Did you post this before?

It sounds very familiar.

Either way I'd be furious with him and would definitely consider splitting yeah. I'd not think it cheating. I'd think it pervy and so unprofessional as to potentially permanently damage his livelihood and reputation as a human being.

Whats YOUR view OP? Thats the only one that matters.

These kind of comments are how some men think the get women into bed. He was probably trying to cheat but just got written off as a creep. I would not forgive him.

Not cheating; worse than that.

He's a misogynistic creep who has been sacked for sexually harassing other women, while in a managerial position. Absolutely disgusting and grossly unprofessional. There's no coming back from that.

He'll be lucky to find another job after this too.

In answer to your question I definitely wouldn't forgive and I certainly wouldn't stay married to him either. Ewww!

It doesn't have to be cheating for it to be unacceptable

I wouldn't class it as cheating but I would class it as vile behaviour that would make me lose all respect for the person

I wouldnt fancy someone like this so that would be my dealbreaker right there.

Not cheating but I'd lay money you're getting a watered down version of what was coming out the idiots mouth.
Anyone with even a grain of common sense knows that type of behaviour doesn't cut it in the modern workplace.
Prize chump!!

You can dump someone for many many other reasons than if they have put their penis inside someone else.

This is one of those reasons. Your husband is disgusting, and he grossly betrayed you and your relationship

Yes it’s literally come completely out of the blue, I would never in a billion years had said that he’d behave like this

Exactly how I feel, so betrayed. He doesn’t see it like that though. Thinks it’s just ‘lads banter’ and that he’s not done anything wrong as he’s not cheated

Exactly how I feel, so betrayed. He doesn’t see it like that though. Thinks it’s just ‘lads banter’ and that he’s not done anything wrong as he’s not cheated

My view is that it’s completely unacceptable. I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that I’m not overreacting. Friends I’ve spoken to say that that wouldn’t end things for them but I have a history of trust issues from past partners cheating on me. How am I ever meant to move forward from this. I feel so betrayed and disrespected but we have children together, I don’t know what’s best to do for them

If your own brain, if your family members, if he himself is telling you that you need to forgive him because its not cheating, your answer is 'There is no point in staying together because the idea of staying with someone who is that stupid makes my skin crawl'

No never, that’s why it’s come as such a shock. We’ve been together 15 years and have children together. He’s been in the same job since we met hence why I don’t understand it. The only vague thing I can think of that he’s done before is I found porn pictures on his phone and we had a massive argument over it. He said his friend sent it to him but I don’t know whether to believe that, this incident was about 6 years ago though now

It's not cheating but it is gross.

Thank you, I know…and it does. He said it’s just lads banter, no intent or anything. I don’t know if I should be more chill about it but everything in my being says not to be