Is this cheating, would you forgive this?

[Meg878o]

Husband was dismissed from work a month ago and has now been sacked following a full investigation. Reason being that he said sexually inappropriate words at work, derogatory jokes, he was in a team leader position, saying to his workmates that customers were 'fit' and had nice boobs etc, commenting on their bodies in general, telling female workmates that they're attractive and in good shape. Would appreciate any views on this?

Of course your children will be upset if you split up with him. But, honestly, is it better to bring them up in a home with a disgusting, pathetic excuse for a man who makes your skin crawl? What kind of environment is that for them?

Also I mean, it’s pretty serious stuff to be sacked from your job following an investigation into this isn’t it?

Where have you got your info from re what happened OP? Because if it from him I’d be guessing what he’s told you is the tip of the iceberg.

hes probably been doing it for years but someone brave has spoken out this time

they dont just sack you for a few words in one converstion

My ex husband did this...he cheated eventually and now is sleeping around Holland and Asia. Gross men! You will always compare yourself to these women eventually...Get rid of him! Im in a happy relationship now and engaged to a man who is the polar opposite of my ex husband! You won't ever be happy,confident or secure.

im not excusing it. I just see a pathetic bloke trying to be funny. Someone who’s insecure in his place. It’s all bravado. That doesn’t mean I condone it. He was rightly sacked.

do I think it’s grounds to leave him & uproot the lives of their kids. Not necessarily, it’s not a trait I’d be happy to find my hubby had

I'm curious, what would you consider to be creepy, rapey behaviour in a man, if not this?

Vile! In the bin!

The part about him touching a 17 year old and making her uncomfortable was bravado?

Was she a 17 year old? I thought 17 was the number of years he’d been employed there, not her age.

Sorry, you're right. I misread it

My point still stands though

It’s not cheating. But I wouldn’t stay with a misogynist.

Nobody sacks an employee of 17 years because they tried to be comedic and got it wrong.

I wouldn’t say it was cheating but it’s slimy and vile. Who goes to work to put up with that. The company have done the right thing. I wouldn’t trust him for one minute if he was my husband.

We just sacked someone for making a lewd comment to another member of staff at the Christmas party. They'd worked for us for 15 years. Pretty much unblemished record up to that point, and top performer. He probably thought he was being funny, person on the receiving end didn't and reported it as sexual harassment.

They investigated and I would bet found multiple incidents.
They wouldn't risk being sued so I imagine HR will have carefully followed procedure.

The company will be well aware they are also open to a constructive dismissal suit, if an employee has claimed multiple incidents of sexual harassment that have gone unactioned.

Work Relations tribunals take a very dim view of such cases.

As far back as 10 years ago a colleague of my husband's sent a vulgar picture of what he'd like to do to a new young hire.
It was reported and he was called to HR and asked had he sent it, they had proof it was from his PC, and terminated his employment there and then.
Such a twat. He had to go home to his pregnant wife with a toddler to tell her he had been fired.

The company sent out a company wide email reminding all employees that anything inappropriate on the company's network would involve immediate termination of employment.

Large companies will protect themselves ruthlessly, and rightfully so.

He was tactile with the woman who reported him. That is not banter and jokes, that is touching and depending upon where he touched her, possibly sexual assault that they, including the woman presumably, have decided not to report to the police.

Of course you don't want to put your children through the upset of your marriage ending, but if you don't want to stay with a misogynist who ridicules women and touches them without consent remember it is him that has caused you to feel that way so your children's upset is on him. Also, children are resilient and adapt well. What they do have a problem with is recognising unacceptable behaviour from their parents and end up believing it to be normal. If you have boys they will learn how to treat women from him, daughters will learn what to expect from men.