Friend hasn’t paid me for child care and left me in a difficult position

[nothingorsomething]

I’m a nanny. My last job ended because the youngest child started full time school, and the family could only offer part time hours. A close friend of mine has four children and asked me last year if I’d be interested in working for her. I’m registered, which (for anyone that doesn’t know) means parents can get help with costs (similar to a nursery or childminder). It works out cheaper for her than using a nursery.

I started just before Christmas and was supposed to get paid yesterday, but that didn’t happen. She didn’t realise she had to pay the bill first and then claim the money back (again, similar to a nursery). Obviously, I don’t handle the money part and just assumed she knew what she was doing. My fault. She said she doesn’t have the money to pay me upfront and needs to contact universal credit to sort it all out. I’m left without any money right now, and I have bills coming out next week, so I’m stressing. I asked her to sort it urgently. I suggested maybe borrowing from a family member and then claiming it back from UC, but she said she can’t. I don’t think UC will pay it though.

Things got a bit heated, and she said, “I don’t have the money. I’ll feed my kids before I pay you.” I don’t want her kids to starve obviously, and it upsets me that she thinks that. But she also doesn’t seem to care about the situation she’s put me in. This is only the first month, and this has already happened. I’m not sure I can handle the instability and worry every month. Should I leave this job (after I get paid, hopefully) and maybe pull back from the friendship?

Look up sunk cost fallacy. You are unlikely to get that money. She has a job, she c

If she's only just started working she could have got UC to pay her upfront childcare fees. She may even still be able to ask for it at her local jobcentre

She isnt a self-employed nanny, eventhough she seems to think she is. Nannies /when working for someone on regular basis/ cant be self-employed by default.

Your friend won’t get the money off uc till she has proved she has paid you

my friend has to take a snapshot of her bank statement and send to uc along with the invoice /recepit of her childcare - she then herring th next month so she’s a month in lieu

@nothingorsomething do not give you friend a fake receipt saying she’s paid you - as you won’t ever seethe money again

assume you have invoiced her if se

tho as I said previously as set days and hour it’s employment as a nanny

Wrong.

Employment tribunal. She does have a 'contract' as agreed verbally.

Absolutely this OP!

And in future never, ever work for friends, keep business and personal relationships separate, they very rarely work out.

Ouch. Fingers crossed you can find something new quickly.

So, this person just thought you'd go unpaid for months at a time? How did she think you were going to get paid? In my view she didn't know and didn't care and knows the reality of how it works, she does have four children after all. Unfortunately feel you've been taken advantage of here. If it needs to go to a small claims court then do so! In the meantime contact citizens advice and provide all the days and hours you've watched her children for. Certainly don't watch them anymore, she will do this every single time and you won't meet your bills. Really sorry this has happened! Sometimes you don't know until you know with people.

I don’t understand how it’s your fault for her not being clued up on how it works.
I’ve always been told to never work for friends or family. It can become heated. I would refuse to work for her anymore. She still needs to pay you then claim it back. What will happen next month when that becomes the same issue?
i would talk to her and explain that you have bills to pay and living expenses too. She will need to find someone else as you need to look for work elsewhere.

Leave the job and step away from the so called friend. Set terms in advance the next time. Good luck 🤞

I've already told her that I can't provide any more child care until I get paid

What did she say?

What a CF, employing someone knowing she doesn't have the money to pay them and not even bothering to check how to reclaim it.

She can only be repaid by UC once she can prove she has paid you. But she doesn't intend doing that.

You need to just ditch her now and she can look for alternative childcare.

Find properly rich client who has got the money and luxury for a nanny

Leave. This will not get better.

you need to find another job. This situation will only get worse.

Don't provide any more childcare until paid, and I'd be looking for another job. How on earth did she not consider how she was gonna pay you?

She's got a bloody nerve getting arsey with you. You're hardly being unreasonable expecting to be paid.

I hope her reaction for down to embarrassment at her cock-up and that she apologises to you.

I’m sorry but you don’t hire childcare without looking into benefit entitlements or cost. You are 100% not to blame. Anyone who uses UC knows what a pain in the butt they are around changes so you’d look into it. She sounds like a CF and a chancer! Her children are not your responsibility be it free childcare or her feeding them!

If she doesn’t pay then you don’t work for her anymore. Move on to someone who will pay you. People are desperate for childcare! Good luck!

She's no intention of paying you

Leave

Tell her in writing that you are leaving with immediate consequences.
You are not a Slave, or stupid.
Then leave i hope you have somewhere to stay.
She knew that you were working. How could see expect you to cope.
She has no respect for you.
So please don't worry. Pack up your bits and bobs. Get your coat and leave.
If she chases after you. Shouting that you can't leave. Tell her yes you can. Then hopefully land a different place. In the meantime of finding that place there's always jobs in supermarkets Cafés. Good luck with your future.

She’s taking the piss. You won’t ever get paid.

I'm sorry but I don't think your friend is being honest with you. If she's on UC then she has a work coach, and they would have explained how to manage the cost of childcare when starting work. She may even have been given a non-repayable grant.