Friend hasn’t paid me for child care and left me in a difficult position

[nothingorsomething]

I’m a nanny. My last job ended because the youngest child started full time school, and the family could only offer part time hours. A close friend of mine has four children and asked me last year if I’d be interested in working for her. I’m registered, which (for anyone that doesn’t know) means parents can get help with costs (similar to a nursery or childminder). It works out cheaper for her than using a nursery.

I started just before Christmas and was supposed to get paid yesterday, but that didn’t happen. She didn’t realise she had to pay the bill first and then claim the money back (again, similar to a nursery). Obviously, I don’t handle the money part and just assumed she knew what she was doing. My fault. She said she doesn’t have the money to pay me upfront and needs to contact universal credit to sort it all out. I’m left without any money right now, and I have bills coming out next week, so I’m stressing. I asked her to sort it urgently. I suggested maybe borrowing from a family member and then claiming it back from UC, but she said she can’t. I don’t think UC will pay it though.

Things got a bit heated, and she said, “I don’t have the money. I’ll feed my kids before I pay you.” I don’t want her kids to starve obviously, and it upsets me that she thinks that. But she also doesn’t seem to care about the situation she’s put me in. This is only the first month, and this has already happened. I’m not sure I can handle the instability and worry every month. Should I leave this job (after I get paid, hopefully) and maybe pull back from the friendship?

Get the hell out of there. She is totally taking your kindness for granted.

Tell me you got a contract?

Never mix money and friends.

I’d absolutely leave.

Can you both go to the jobcentre together and ask for support in sorting it out.

I thought there was a test case a while ago and the courts decided that it was unfair to expect people to pay in advance.

What's the legal situation here, is she employing you or are you self employed?
Do you have a contract with her?
Does she actually earn enough realistically to afford you?

Leave, get out, don't look back (except to tell her about claiming in the SCC for the missing money).

She's not a friend. Don't accept any wheedling attempts at reinstating the arrangement in the future - she'll do it again.

I'd stop working for her and if she doesn;t pay you for the work you have already done, go through the small claims court.

Her attitude is disgusting.

Classic example of why we shouldn't mix business and pleasure. Not that you'd want to stay friends with someone who cares so little for your welfare and takes advantage of anyone in this way.

Big mistake getting involved with a friend.
Start looking for another job.
Go to Small Claims if necessary.
This is not a friend.
Get out now and text her all the details of what she owes you for how many days etc., so you have proof for small claims court.

How did she pay for her childcare before you?

I understand she can’t fully pay you however not paying anything at all, is an absolute pisstake.

Never mix business and friendship!

Don't provide a single moment more of childcare for her until she’s paid in full, you’ll need to find some kind of temp or agency work asap where they pay you weekly so that you can bring in some funds.

Waiting to get paid by the taxpayer ie universal credit to pay a nanny.
Heard it all.

Did she ever intend to pay you?

If you haven't got a formal contract you are a mug. And really you should be checking if a client can afford to pay you before you take them on.

I suspect you will never see the money and honestly you can't continue to work for her without being paid because fuck knows how long she will string you along for.

She is not a friend from what she's done and said.

Gosh, leave straight away. If she’s not paying you, it’s not a job - It’s a favour. And you can’t live on favours.

Do you have a contract @nothingorsomething?

this is why you should never work for friends or family

surely she knows if on uc that she pays it and then claims it back

she won’t beg the money till you hav been paid so she needs to get a loan or credit card cash etc

if contract states a pay day you need to write her a letter and state this and say if not paid you will be taking her to small claims

How is it any different to claiming back childcare costs for nursery/child minder/wrap around care? If she’s able to claim childcare then that means she’s working and getting top up UC, likely a single parent family on a low income.

And OP, I definitely think you should end the arrangement with this friend. Her not checking these things in advance AND her attitude surrounding it just isn’t on at all.

It’s her obligation as an employer to pay you, she should have investigated how UC paid BEFORE hiring you.

Take a step back and think how would you solve this if it wasn’t a “friend” and do that.

As someone else said it’s a huge red flag that she isn’t running around exceptionally embarrassed trying to find a solution to HER mistake

Has she signed an agreement with you? I used to run my own business and even got friends to sign T&Cs if not make sure you have this in place going forward and ANYONE who uses your childcare services signs them. Also include that no more childcare will be booked until the client has paid

I would definitely be walking away from this one or at least telling her she either pays up or finds alternate childcare. You need a job that pays and she needs to realise that

Stop working for her with immediate effect.

Claim what you are owed via small claims

I agree with everyone else. Tjis is on her and you need to be paid regardless of her situation or ignorance of the system. I'd be looking for another job but make sure you pursue the money she owes you. Good luck

This - what arrangements had you made about payment?

Leave. Take it through Small Claims. She's really not a friend any more.

Wow when did she say she was going to play you?

And I wouldn’t turn up either until she Have paid you

Have you been paid via UC as a nanny previously? I worked as a childminder and it was my understanding that UC and funded childcare hours do not cover a nanny.