Friend hasn’t paid me for child care and left me in a difficult position

[nothingorsomething]

I’m a nanny. My last job ended because the youngest child started full time school, and the family could only offer part time hours. A close friend of mine has four children and asked me last year if I’d be interested in working for her. I’m registered, which (for anyone that doesn’t know) means parents can get help with costs (similar to a nursery or childminder). It works out cheaper for her than using a nursery.

I started just before Christmas and was supposed to get paid yesterday, but that didn’t happen. She didn’t realise she had to pay the bill first and then claim the money back (again, similar to a nursery). Obviously, I don’t handle the money part and just assumed she knew what she was doing. My fault. She said she doesn’t have the money to pay me upfront and needs to contact universal credit to sort it all out. I’m left without any money right now, and I have bills coming out next week, so I’m stressing. I asked her to sort it urgently. I suggested maybe borrowing from a family member and then claiming it back from UC, but she said she can’t. I don’t think UC will pay it though.

Things got a bit heated, and she said, “I don’t have the money. I’ll feed my kids before I pay you.” I don’t want her kids to starve obviously, and it upsets me that she thinks that. But she also doesn’t seem to care about the situation she’s put me in. This is only the first month, and this has already happened. I’m not sure I can handle the instability and worry every month. Should I leave this job (after I get paid, hopefully) and maybe pull back from the friendship?

How was she expecting to get you paid though? She says she expected UC to pay for it, but how did she envision this to happen exactly? Has she called them to give your details and your bank account? It sounds like she hasn’t done anything and expected for things to happen by magic, it all smells a bit fishy to be honest.

I disagree with this entirely. If I hire someone to provide me with a service I do my research and pay them. I don't expect them to tell me how to organise my affairs to pay them on time unless I ask their advice, because I'm not 12.

@nothingorsomething this is not on you remotely. I would start looking for alternative work immediately. My issue would not be the fact that she didn't pay you on time, but her attitude when you asked is appalling.

The one thing that is on you is that you should never mix your business with friendships. Hopefully that is a lesson learned.

She's unreliable and you can't trust her. Stop doing any childcare for her if she won't pay.

You shouldnt be self employed just because you work for two families. If you do the hmrc questions online, it is very clear. Unless you can chose your hours and /or can pick who does the work, you are an employee.

Has she offered to pay you anything at all? UC won't cover all the fees, so she could at least have offered the percentage that she would have to pay.

If she didn't, there's your answer: she never intended to pay you.

I would not be minding her kids and be looking for another job quick smart

if that leave her with an issue that’s not your problem, she owes you a months salary, I would expect that to be paid as well, and if she refuses I would be going to small claims

the friendship is over

If I had put a friend in this situation I would've been mortified and apologetic, and doing my best to borrow the money to pay you. Certainly bringing anything I could around, even if not the full amount. I wouldn't work for her for another 5 mins though, not until paid properly.

Has she paid you anything at all?

She's employing you and doesn't even have enough money put by to pay you? Surely she realised that she might be out of pocket having to pay you before she actually receives the allowance?! The mind boggles.

Look for another job with someone reliable.

In the meantime, can you get an overdraft or use a credit card? Not ideal, I know.

Married women being left by their husbands are the cause of all financial woes?

Interesting perspective.

I use to childmind on the few occasions I looked after friends children, despite the fact we had a contract and I explained all my policies to them they still expected special treatment. (On top on the discount I’d already gave them) it would inevitably lead to fall out so I stopped working with friends.

You work so you can feed your child. You didn't work for free. I'd stop providing her with childcare wirg immediately. I'd invoice her. Give her 30 days to pay. If she doesnt take her to small claims.

Contract is void because she hasn't fulfilled her part i.e. paying you.

Move on.

Op has a contract

small claims court? sorry but I wouldn't treat a good friend this way who had worked for me, id be very apologetic and tell her I'm doing everything I can to get the funds sorted and come up with a payment plan. she's being a CF.

I don't believe she messed up. It's january when everyone is broke and she thought she could take the piss. Once you've got your money from her, tell her to do one.

Oh god the universal credit one is an absolute nightmare to deal with. I hate it, takes ages to get the money. She made a mistake but she’s stupid for not looking into this first!

If she cannot pay you then definitely do not work for her anymore, it is time to cut your losses.

How rotten of her to pull the 'I can't feed my kids' trick. Honestly, she is a thief.

100% leave and take her to the small claims court for the months money owing if you're self-employed. If you're an employee, threaten her with tribunal. It's unlawful deduction of earnings and you'll win, I don't think it matters that you haven't been there long, it's one of those clear cut things. Don't do any more work for her and accept the friendship is over now regardless of what you do, she's shafted you and DGAF.

it is a nightmare getting the money from them to begin with, but once it gets into a rhythm it should be alright. she can also get a universal credit advance, if she hasn't already, to cover the first month.But she'd have to pay 15 percent anyway of the overall bill, as they only pay 85% so if she can't even give you that this month if you should suggest it, then I'd see that as a red flag...

Please find another position. She's talking about feeding her kids before paying you, without any irony of what the fuck you're meant to do without money. It's giving the impression that she doesn't see what you're doing as a job, or that she is your employer now and she's refusing to find a way to pay you.

Definitely don't carry on volunteering your time.

Glad to see you’ve refused to continue.

I agree she has totally abused your friendship and is using the UC claim excuses in the hope you will write the debt off or just carry on and constantly be a month behind on payment.

Sounds like weaponised incompetence and total disregard for you - she viewed your month’s salary as the price of your friendship.

I would actively look for another job but not leave just now because I suspect then she would never pay you . Her attitude is just plain wrong

From the internet:

"If you cannot pay the first month's upfront childcare costs for Universal Credit, contact your work coach immediately via your journal to request help from the Flexible Support Fund (FSF). This fund can pay providers directly for deposits or initial costs without repayment. If this is not available, ask for a Budgeting Advance. "

Also OP, is this a new job she's taken on, first time working whilst on UC? Because it it's not, then she knew what would happen. But if it is, then she can follow the above advice, and perhaps didn't know.