Friend hasn’t paid me for child care and left me in a difficult position

[nothingorsomething]

I’m a nanny. My last job ended because the youngest child started full time school, and the family could only offer part time hours. A close friend of mine has four children and asked me last year if I’d be interested in working for her. I’m registered, which (for anyone that doesn’t know) means parents can get help with costs (similar to a nursery or childminder). It works out cheaper for her than using a nursery.

I started just before Christmas and was supposed to get paid yesterday, but that didn’t happen. She didn’t realise she had to pay the bill first and then claim the money back (again, similar to a nursery). Obviously, I don’t handle the money part and just assumed she knew what she was doing. My fault. She said she doesn’t have the money to pay me upfront and needs to contact universal credit to sort it all out. I’m left without any money right now, and I have bills coming out next week, so I’m stressing. I asked her to sort it urgently. I suggested maybe borrowing from a family member and then claiming it back from UC, but she said she can’t. I don’t think UC will pay it though.

Things got a bit heated, and she said, “I don’t have the money. I’ll feed my kids before I pay you.” I don’t want her kids to starve obviously, and it upsets me that she thinks that. But she also doesn’t seem to care about the situation she’s put me in. This is only the first month, and this has already happened. I’m not sure I can handle the instability and worry every month. Should I leave this job (after I get paid, hopefully) and maybe pull back from the friendship?

So even after four children she has never paid for childcare in advance or on a contract? Were her dc in a setting previously, if so when did she cancel that funding or has she spent it already on Christmas? She has taken advantage of your friendship in the hope you give her leeway at your expense.

In future you need to be clear on what is employment and what is self-employed.

If she issued you with a contract and you're on a monthly salary, she chooses your start finish times and dictates when you can take time off etc, you're an employee. There should be holiday pay, pension, maternity pay, if you're ill she claims SSP to pay you and she pays both employers NI contributions and sorts out your employees NI and tax deductions.

If you issued her with a contract, if you invoice her monthly, if you chose the fees and can choose what time off to take, decide your own hours and can send a substitute worker in your place if you're unwell etc, then you're self-employed. There's no holiday pay, pension, maternity pay or sick pay, other than what you organise for yourself or are entitled to claim from the government. You keep your own accounts, sort out your own NI contributions and fill in your own tax return or pay an accountant to do it for you.

You're in no way responsible for her lack of understanding of how UC works. It's not your fault she hasn't paid you. Regardless of whether you're an employee or self-employed, it's on her to organise her own finances. She had wages/invoice to pay at the end of this month, she knew that and did nothing about it. It's not an error or mix up, she's deliberately shafted you.

Tell her you're going to the Small Claims Court. Tell her it could mean that her credit score will plummet.

If she is really struggling to feed her kids then there are options like the food-bank people who are in genuine need should explore alternative options

Leave. She wont pay you so you don’t work.simple. If i were you I would sign up with an agency asap

This was never going to work. No professional boundaries are in place. Imagine a boss saying that to an employee or a parent saying that to the manager of their daycare! I’d quit the job and the friendship.

Working regularly 9-3 Monday-Thursday would not be considered self-employment, even if you do work for other families over the weekend (although you could be self-employed for them).

She would need to employ you anyway.

If she reported the change to circumstances to UC it wont take effect until her next paydate which asseses her previous month assessment period. She probably will get it when shes next due a payment.
She could ask for an advance if she hasnt already done so but you wont know this.
Ask her if she has reported the change in her circumstances and when you can expect payment.
If no payment comes I'd report her to UC for fraud as she will be using your details and claiming childcare.

You sound as if you are taking some blame here. It is absolutely not your responsibilty if she can't pay you. She is behaving appallingly.

I assume she needs childcare because she is working, so perfectly well understands the agreement, when someone works for you you pay them. She needs to pay you, how she gets the money, selling something, pawning her jewellery, borrowing from a relative ( children's father, grandparents?) or dipping into savings is not your problem. Just don’t mind her children again, there will always be a drama. Tell her if she doesn’t pay you will be claiming the lost wages via small claims.

Tell her you are not having her child again until she's paid you. If she does, then nicely give her notice and if she doesn't at least you can move on. Or if you did a proper contract, take her too small claims court for promising to pay you and then not doing so. You don't set up a childcare situation where you aren't exactly sure what you will be paying and check you afford it.

She sounds like a user I'm afraid. WtF is doing! I would cut ties ASAP. No nursery or CM wouldn have this .Speak to CAB ,and call mortgage company .and rates .energy . And so on they can usually help. Do you have any jewellery, laptops that u could pawn. 6 months cash up front.then u can buy it back .put 50 quid aside.fucking cheek to say she would feed her kids forst! Are you supposed to starve then?

I think id ge a bit more careful of who you work for. A single mum on IC is unlikely to be able to afford a nanny! just because you work for other families as-hoc if you’ve got regular nanny job they should be payrolling you so you’d get the NI, tax a payslip and the companies that do this you set it all up in advance. Any future employers I’d ask them about this, I use nanny tax it’s great, recommend they contact them for assistance.

She doesn’t even sound bothered,that you have no pay and are worried sick about bills.please don’t work anymore for her.im so sorry I hope you get sorted quickly one way or another xx

Tell her you are not having her child again

Children ..four of them !

She can find herself a Nursery ( Yeah good luck with that one !)

When my DS started Nursery I had to pay a deposit (one month) and each month in advance .His deposit covered DD when she started and rolled over to cover the last month before she left .
Yes it is a lot of money to find but she must've considered this .
Or she thought you were at a loose end , in between jobs and you'd happily do her a favour/freebie

This isn’t a job. Find other work and sadly you’re not going to get paid for this

She’s taking the absolute piss.

If you have a contract with her serve her notice to terminate it and give her 7 days to pay what she owes or you’ll commence legal proceedings.

Fucking arsehole

Definitely!

For her to claim the childcare cost from UC she'd have to provide an invoice or from you for the fees did you send her an invoice for payment?

Yeah my first thought was that she was hoping for a freebie

If she is adult enough to have 4 kids and retrain then she is adult enough to pay her bills, in full on time. All the " I can't feed my kids" is just nasty behaviour. If I found myself in this situation I would be mortified and would be making it my priortiy.

Terminate the contract, give her by the COB on Friday 30/1 to pay if not small claims. When this storm blows over you will be very glad you only took a hit on a month.

Yikes. Deffo quit. What a con artist- even if she really didn’t know the fact she hasn’t offered you a penny and doesn’t feel bad says it all!

I remember a thread recently about crossing boundaries and looking after friends kids as a childminder. This is the kind of thing I mentioned. Any issues and it ruins the friendship.

You are not self employed. You are employed but pretending to be self employed.

HMRC are very clear about this and you are not self employed. You need to do this properly and get a job where you are employed and get all the benefits associated with that. There are loads of companies who handle payroll for nannies on behalf of parents, get a job with parents who use those.