DH thinks he should have an office space kept clear at home

[RazedBeds]

I am in a job where I visit establishments or work from home. In effect this means I am in and out of my home all the time and WFH about 3 days a week.

DH works in an office, but has the odd evening call to do at home - maybe 2 a month.

He's thrown a strop because I usually work upstairs but move to the basement room when it's very cold, as it's warmer down there and there's an electric fire. I plugged in the fire and in doing so I unplugged DH's monitor that he attached his laptop to when he does these occasional evening calls. He says I should leave one desk completely clear and set up for him and that it's inconsiderate of me not to. If he tells me he has a call I will clear the desk btw, but if I am WFH and will be tomorrow I do leave my laptop set up.

I feel like since I work at home almost every day and he does do very occasionally, it's not unreasonable for me to spread myself across the workspaces at my convenience as long as I clear a desk whenever he wants. He says that's not fair and one desk should always be set up and available for him, that I don't need to use two. For clarity I work at one or the other but it varies depending on the weather and my mood!

AIBU?

He works from home twice a month and expects a desk left for him to just pick up work from and left just so whereas you work from home every day and are banned from a nice warm desk? Fuck that!

To be fair on him it's not the warm desk specifically he wants. It's one desk always set up ready for him that I have not put stuff on that I have to clear before he can work there.

He's either a brave soul who has succeeded despite having no arms, or a lazy git who thinks you are his servant.

Would it be too difficult to get a surge protected extension lead so you can plug your laptop in without unplugging a monitor every time?

It depends really. It would do my head in if anytime I wanted access to one of two desks in the house, my husband had to come along and clear his stuff before I could settle down. Sounds like you are quite messy?

If you have two work stations then it seems fair to have one each. If you need extra space then get a bigger desk or a side table.

Having to set up a workstation every time I use it and get all the screens working properly would be really annoying

if you don’t have two workstations then obv you get dibs as the person who uses it most but it sounds like you have two office spaces AND two workstations so leaving a space set up for him shouldn’t be a massive issue

I think you should make sure whichever one you're not currently using is clear/useable. But since you're there most you should generally get dibs on which one you're currently occupying

I feel like since I work at home almost every day and he does do very occasionally, it's not unreasonable for me to spread myself across the workspaces at my convenience as long as I clear a desk whenever he wants. He says that's not fair and one desk should always be set up and available for him, that I don't need to use two. For clarity I work at one or the other but it varies depending on the weather and my mood!

He's right. You don't need to use two. You should have a workspace each and stick to it. If you would prefer to use the one downstairs because it's warmer maybe you could discuss swapping with him. Or if there's room downstairs you could add another desk for you.
I'd be annoyed if I had a workstation and I had to ask you to clear it when I needed it to use it (even if I was using it only a couple of times a month) and having to plug the monitor back in and so on because you unplugged it and spread yourself over the space.

Why don't you move permanently to the basement office and get a heater for the other room. Most months of the year it'll be warm enough for his two evenings a month. In the cold months he can flick the heater on when he needs it.

You get the office that's generally warmer as you use it more during the colder months.

Can you put an extra fire in the upstairs room, why do you need 2 work spaces and can you use extension cable to plug in a fire downstairs.

🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍👍👍

I think it’s quite selfish that you want to use both/either depending on your mood.

Not unreasonable of him to expect that given there are two rooms and two desks he should have one.

Failing that, you could have a hot-desking policy where you clear your stuff away / plug things back in after you have finished at whichever desk you have been using that day.

One workstation each is fair.

Tell him to build a man cave in the garden and you promise never to sully his door?

He says I should leave one desk completely clear and set up for him and that it's inconsiderate of me not to.

For he basement he could get an extension cord whichwill fit all plugs need plus 1/2 spare and screw it to the wall at desk level.

Add a laptop only shelf to swap each off the desk

Then clean desk policy applies.

You should not leave your stuff across the desk so should have storage for files etc as should he.

Dotto for the other desk.

I'm petty. I'd set up one in the garage next to the kids bikes and the old paint tins.

I’m on your husband’s side here. It’s fine for you to use whatever space you want, but to unplug his stuff and spread out over both home desks would be incredibly annoying. He just wants to be able to get his work done, not to have to set up monitors and clear away all your stuff. It’s a very reasonable ask for him to have his set-up left in place if there are two desks in the house. It sounds like you get to choose your primary desk, and if you want to use his, just put it back at the end of the day.

I think it kind of depends - having it so if he comes down the monitor plugged is in fine and easy to achieve

One station each is fair, but if you do use his desk, it’s reasonable to leave it clear and ready for him to use after you’ve finished with it.

You both sound petty and incapable of figuring out a straightforward solution that works without such childish bickering.

I'd say you should put it back the way it was when you found it, if it's usually 'his' desk. That seems fair. Otherwise, you should do what it takes to make your own desk cosy and warm and just stay there—or trade so that he gets the upstairs desk and you get the warm one.

I guess I don't think of it as "his" desk. I am very used to hot desking for the past 20 years so I expect some set up of equipment every day. It's a luxury when I don't have to do this. He is used to his very own desk in his office which is his everyday. I feel like he's got a distorted perception of how annoying plugging a monitor in is, because I have to do it all the time.

This.

The light is better upstairs so it's better for teams calls, but it's very cold at this time of year.

He needs 5 different guitars for different purposes. Why is it so hard to see that each desk has benefits and drawbacks and I am not sitting upstairs freezing on the off chance he might have a late call sometime this month.

You have 3 desks to pick from upstairs,2 in basement yet from the sounds of it you seem to manage to use all 3
just leave it as you find it
or find a solution to more plugs