DH thinks he should have an office space kept clear at home

[RazedBeds]

I am in a job where I visit establishments or work from home. In effect this means I am in and out of my home all the time and WFH about 3 days a week.

DH works in an office, but has the odd evening call to do at home - maybe 2 a month.

He's thrown a strop because I usually work upstairs but move to the basement room when it's very cold, as it's warmer down there and there's an electric fire. I plugged in the fire and in doing so I unplugged DH's monitor that he attached his laptop to when he does these occasional evening calls. He says I should leave one desk completely clear and set up for him and that it's inconsiderate of me not to. If he tells me he has a call I will clear the desk btw, but if I am WFH and will be tomorrow I do leave my laptop set up.

I feel like since I work at home almost every day and he does do very occasionally, it's not unreasonable for me to spread myself across the workspaces at my convenience as long as I clear a desk whenever he wants. He says that's not fair and one desk should always be set up and available for him, that I don't need to use two. For clarity I work at one or the other but it varies depending on the weather and my mood!

AIBU?

Can’t you just get another heater?! I have a little oil filled heater on wheels I use in my home office so as not to put the heating on in the whole house when it’s just me wfh. It’s was from Argos - can’t remember the cost but it wasn’t much.

Is there no heating in that room. Instead of a fire in the basement why don't you put the fire on upstairs.

You’re being rather selfish if you think it’s reasonable to hog all the desks at home.

It's an attic room in a Victorian house. Too hot in Summer and too cold in Winter but it's out of the way and quiet.

I did buy an oil fired radiator for upstairs but it doesn't really warm the room effectively.

Obviously if he regularly worked at home I wouldn't.

Actually the downstairs room was "the office" and for anyone, but he used it in lockdown and I wasn't working at home so much before then. He earns more so I guess he took precedence and I worked on the dining room table. Since then our son has left home and I now work in his bedroom, which was my previous attempt to leave the downstairs desk available for him after a prior strop. He much prefers working at his work office so very rarely works at home as I said. If he regularly did, say, Thursday at home then obviously I would know when he needs it. I always clear it when asked. I just don't view it as primarily "his" space, and I use it much more often, so why can't it be set up for my convenience?

Both our home offices are in the single glazed, poorly insulated attic of a Victorian house. If he has the occasional meeting at home then a cold room for an hour is really not an issue. Buy a couple of electric throws and keep them by the desks

it is very unreasonable to occupy three workspaces for one person though

Buy an electric blanket and stay in attic leave him in the dank basement.

Of course you should have a desk each. A desk isn’t just for WFH you need it for your pc and admin.

Just choose a desk and stick to it. If upstairs is cold but has better lighting, then get better lighting for the basement or insulation for the upstairs room.

One workstation each is reasonable. It sounds like the attic is better so you just need to heat it. DH can have the basement.

It is much nicer to work from home when you have a dedicated desk area that you don't have to assemble IT equipment each time and where you can leave some of your personal items out. You have the ability to work where you want in the way that you want, but you don't think it's reasonable to grant DH the same courtesy?

I agree with your DH. Everyone in our house has a desk at home, even the 3 year old! I don't wfh ever but I need my own desk space for admin and make piles of paperwork I need to deal with, I absolutely couldnt tolerate sharing it with DH.

If you were hot-desking, you'd have to clear your desk every day surely? YANBU to want to move desks on days when your DH isn't using either, but YABU to leave your stuff spread over both desks.

Either get a blanket for upstairs or a laptop ringlight for the basement. Plus an extension cable for his monitor. None of this is expensive.

2 things on this thread I don't get. Firstly, the whole concept of leaving stuff set up and plugged in all the time. One doesn't do this in work office spaces since green initiatives came in about 15 years ago, so why at home? Secondly, all these cold Victorian houses.If you have rooms that are that cold, it is solvable. I wfh in a really old house in a north facing room and I'm not cold.

This thread is bonkers! OP you are right, I can only think these replies are from people who don't WFH or have never hotdesked.

There is no way someone who needs a desk 2 evenings a month should take precedence over someone WFH every week. The desk would just be a shrine to his non use of it!

Get a power cord so you never have to unplug his stuff, keep the area tidy but do not stop using it.

Tidy up and keep a clear desk, and leave his alone.

I have to do it every time I go the office. That is a couple of times a week. It never stops being annoying for me. It just makes the starting work hump so much bigger to get over, compared to at home where everything is as I left it.

Surely you can improve the lighting in the basement and then leave the desk in the attic clear for him?

If you work from home so much more, you should be able to use the room which makes more sense at that part of the year.

However, having to specifically ask you is a bit annoying.

Would it be possible to adjust the downstairs one with an extension cord and some shelves, so it would be easier to keep it mostly ready for either of you?

Are people not catching that his use of the desk is 2 evening calls a month???

On what planet does someone need a dedicated desk for a couple hours a month.

Just tidy your shit up and plug the monitor back in when you're done. It doesn't feel like an unreasonable request when your alternative is leaving your stuff spread over 2 workspaces.

One could also ask, on what planet does someone need two desks for use depending on what mood she's in, and never keeps either tidy?

If the OP would tidy up after herself, this wouldn't be an issue.

One desk each sounds fair and normal.

This

He’ll have to manage his hurty ego by plugging in the monitor when needed. For heaven’s sake!