DH thinks he should have an office space kept clear at home

[RazedBeds]

I am in a job where I visit establishments or work from home. In effect this means I am in and out of my home all the time and WFH about 3 days a week.

DH works in an office, but has the odd evening call to do at home - maybe 2 a month.

He's thrown a strop because I usually work upstairs but move to the basement room when it's very cold, as it's warmer down there and there's an electric fire. I plugged in the fire and in doing so I unplugged DH's monitor that he attached his laptop to when he does these occasional evening calls. He says I should leave one desk completely clear and set up for him and that it's inconsiderate of me not to. If he tells me he has a call I will clear the desk btw, but if I am WFH and will be tomorrow I do leave my laptop set up.

I feel like since I work at home almost every day and he does do very occasionally, it's not unreasonable for me to spread myself across the workspaces at my convenience as long as I clear a desk whenever he wants. He says that's not fair and one desk should always be set up and available for him, that I don't need to use two. For clarity I work at one or the other but it varies depending on the weather and my mood!

AIBU?

I can see where DH is coming from. You have 2 desks in your house - pick one and stick with it. Doesn't matter how frequently the desks get used then.

I have things set up in my WFH space to suit me. If things get moved around, that's annoying, especially if it's things like devices getting unplugged, notes moved around and stuff.

It’s the complete opposite.

It’s OP wanting DH to fit around her needs.

He’s asking that she chooses 1 desk and sticks to it so that he can keep all of his things in 1 place.

Well that is unreasonable - he can’t monopolise a premium desk space ie a warm one, if he only uses it for a few hours a month.

OP wfh so her home is her office space. She doesn’t have an office to go into.

He doesn't need to have a reserved space for the tiny amount of time he uses it.

Why do you use both desks ? I guess it depends on how small or large they are whether you are being unreasonably territorial or not.
But if they are reasonably sized then you should have one each. And respect each other has such a space.

But he isn’t? He said he will take any of the four desks in the house, he just wants her to leave it alone. I cannot for the life of me see the issue here of either leaving the 1/4 of the desks alone or just putting everything back when she’s done so it’s ready for him. She says she likes to use at least two of them whenever she feels like it on the day and leaves whichever however she likes - actually unplugging his stuff as she won’t even get a multi plug for herself. This is totally bizarre.

That’s what thought too, however, I was responding to a post where the OP said he wasn’t.

Do you really need two desks? If you worked in an office you'd only ever get one.

I take the point that he rarely works at home but I know how irritating it is when someone mucks up your IT/monitor setup.

It's mind boggling that a man who barely works from home and has an office thinks he should be allowed to monopolize the best desk space in the house for his exclusive use.

But it’s not the best desk space? She says herself both desks are better for different reasons which is why she uses both.

Why not?

I have my own desk and I don’t even wfh.

My DC has their own desk too and neither of us use each others or touches any of the stuff on it.

No one’s saying it’s the best desk space.

OP says she usually chooses to use the upstairs space as it’s the better space.

I agree! He’s being dog in a manger about his desk. Put his plug back that’s ok but he is being very precious.

But she isn't in a office. She's at home and would like to use her home in a way that works best for her.
The issue is that her DH objects to her working in a way that enhances her comfort even though the only inconvenience to him is an unplugged monitor and a lap top on a desk he isn't even using.

DH just objects to not having a desk that is his, that he can leave alone and be the same next time he comes back to it without having to fanny around replugging stuff in. That is not unreasonable at all. If your partner moves your shit around unncessarily for whatever reason, that is annoying as hell.

Why can't OP just pick 1 desk and stick to it?

Nobody needs to hot-desk in their own house. This is the most ridiculous argument.

Of course DH needs his own desk not just for his work, but also for admin and filing.

Given there is space enough for more than one desk there’s no reason this cannot be resolved maturely.

And so would he. And DH’s issue is that OP objects to DH working in a way that enhances his comfort.

There’s plenty of room in the house for more than one desk but OP seems to want all of them.

It's still her home.
I WFH and my home doesn't cease to be my home during working hours.

I used my DH's office space earlier this week as it was quieter in there. He wasn't in the house so it would have been ridiculous for me to put up with a noisy space when there was another space in the house I could use.
That's the beauty of WFH, you can be flexible!

He works in an office. How is the OP using 'his' desk while he isn't even there impacting his comfort. He isn't even in the house!!

He'd rather she be cold than unplug his precious monitor. It's pretty pathetic and unkind really.

Because he has decided that the dedicated office space is his when it was originally meant to be a shared office space.
He should set himself up in another room so the OP can use the office as she is the one WFH.

There a grand total of 4 desks in the house. She needs to get herself organised. Surely she's capable of leaving his stuff alone. It's not the desk version of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears!

But she has her own desk upstairs, she just uses his in the basement when she gets cold. Why not put a plug in heater in the upstairs office and just stick to that one? I’d be annoyed if someone kept rearranging my stuff, I need my own space.

Then perhaps her husband needs to stop being so precious about a desk he hardly ever uses.
He’s the one who has commandeered the most appropriate office space despite working out of the home and throws a strop when the OP uses it because she’s cold!

The solution here is that the OP uses the dedicated office space on a permanent basis.

That’s sounds like bullshit to me. Your laptop and iPad cannot simultaneously be on two desks at the same time!