Is It Weird to Go for Walks with a School Dad?

[safefmo]

I mostly work from home and often go for a walk after school drop-off. Recently I bumped into a school dad whose daughter is friends with my child. He’s nice enough and we’ll chat when we see each other.

Since then, he’s occasionally texted to ask if I want to go for a walk or grab a coffee. If he were a school mum, I wouldn’t think twice — but because he’s a dad, I’m second-guessing it. I don’t want it to get awkward, and I don’t know if his partner knows.

Am I overthinking this? Is it weird? If you were his partner, would you find it odd?

Bit weird. I wouldn’t . Different if he was joining a group of mums for a coffee but one to one seems a bit off

Wouldn't bother me.

It must be rubbish being male and doing the school run if no one ever talks to you or wants to go for coffee!

This all day long…. You can have friends of the opposite sex without it being anything else…

Sounds fine to me

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it if it was just the 2 of us - I'd feel more comfortable in a small group. I wouldn't like DH doing it either tbh (but I know he wouldn't, mainly because his working day is full even when wfh).

Doesn't bother me aslong as you keep that friend zone

Ok, I am probably overthinking it. As I said, I regularly go dog walking with other mums and it's no change to my plans other than him joining me. I dont see the mum much as she works shifts and doesnt do drop offs

I think it's totally fine but a lot of MN have bizarre views on platonic friendships.

I think this ^ you'll know pretty quickly I think if his intention is untoward or if he is just being friendly. If it feels off when you're there just make an excuse and don't do it again, but if he's just being friendly then there's no issue. I'd also suggest doing a joint play date with the kids and his wife so she's included in there.

I don't think we can expect men to step up the way women do if we don't treat them the way we'd treat a mother.

Don’t ask on here @safefmo the opinions you get will be totally skewed. Everyone on MN believes men and women being friends has to have some sort of ulterior motive

I do that most days.

I am really good friends with a couple, their children and mine are school friends.

She works, but her dh is freelance so we walk our dogs together most mornings after drop off.

He’s really good friends with dh, we all hang out together most weekends.

I get on really well with him, as well as I do with his wife.

I think that's what feels a bit different because we dont socialise as families or on the weekend. Our kids are really good friends, and their daughter often comes over to ours to play but as families we wouldn't naturally hangout together.

Dog walking together is absolutely fine, and if he was single I'd say coffee was fine too, but you mentioned he has a partner?
If he has a partner I'd say it's a definite no to 1-1 coffees.

I don't think so. Not quite the same but when my kids were at primary we used to walk to school with our across the street neighbour. After drop off me & him would get a coffee and walk home together.
It never seemed weird when Kevin hung out with Julia or Liz.

So you know he definitely has a partner? In that case I'd probably assume the best, that he was just being friendly. But I certainly wouldn't be comfortable if he was trying to arrange it secretly or against his partner's wishes.

If you go and he tries it on, just firmly say you're just interested in friendship only. Well, I hope he doesn't if he isn't single?! But if he does just decline his advances.

I’d invite the partner to come along too - and text them jointly to arrange it, not just him.

YES!! THIS!! he must get lonely and just want a friend at the school. mums over run the school so I dont think its weird. it wouldn't bother me if my partner was the one working from home and I was going out to work. I work from home and get bored even with mum friends.

It’s fine, I wouldn’t think twice.

Many MNers will advise against it though as there seems to be an idea that men and women can’t have platonic friendships.

Thing is, for men, this is edging into date territory. Men don’t often meet up with other men for a walk or a coffee mid day on a weekday, unless work related. It’s also personally not something I’d do with a random school mum either. A friend, yes. Just someone from school, no.

I think he’s feeling out the situation to see if you’ll bite back. Is he single? Are you?

Ha ha! I’m going against the grain. The fact you’ve asked on here means it doesn’t feel quite right. For whatever reason.

People saying poor lonely school dad needs a friend for walks and talks and coffee, do me a favour.

I wouldn’t think twice about. Im friendly with lots of men and none have tried it on or become a problem. Maybe it’s obvious im not interested (happily married) or maybe im repulsive. I don’t know.

Hmm. I wouldn't, and I know it should be fine but I would suspect he had an ulterior motive, I'm afraid.

If I were already friends with the family and you knew his wife and that he was a green flag, then yes, fine.

It’s fine

But don’t fuck him 😝

I also think it’s a bit odd. I don’t assume he’s a raving pervert but a planned walk seems a bit unnecessary to me. It would be different if you regularly bumped into each other on a dog walk. It’s the fact that he’s singling you out. I would be inclined to make my excuses and give it a miss (but that’s just me).

Of course it could be totally fine. But my experience of this…. He’s after a school run shag buddy