Is It Weird to Go for Walks with a School Dad?

[safefmo]

I mostly work from home and often go for a walk after school drop-off. Recently I bumped into a school dad whose daughter is friends with my child. He’s nice enough and we’ll chat when we see each other.

Since then, he’s occasionally texted to ask if I want to go for a walk or grab a coffee. If he were a school mum, I wouldn’t think twice — but because he’s a dad, I’m second-guessing it. I don’t want it to get awkward, and I don’t know if his partner knows.

Am I overthinking this? Is it weird? If you were his partner, would you find it odd?

Yeah I think it's weird.

Also I kind of think this type of - a man can't put himself in a position to be around females incase he cheats kind of suggests that it would be an accident.

If someone is going to cheat, they're going to do it some way some how and I'd much rather they show me who they are so I can get rid.

No he can't speak on behalf of all men but you also can't just dismiss what he's saying and try and persuade him to think in a different way. The reason there are generalisations about this sort of thing is because it so often is the case.

I'd be up for walks and a coffee with a school dad. Like someone else has said, it must suck to be a school dad and not be able to make 'friends', although both of your kids are friends.
I'd absolutely make conversation about the mum though and if he did seem like he wanted more I'd absolutely shut that shit down.
Be kind, go for a walk

I think it’s basically fine but both sets of partners should be aware

also I’d be wary of other parents seeing us and “gossiping” but if the respective partners are fine then I don’t see the issue at all

one of my best friends ever is male and I recently just spent the whole weekend with him and his kids while his wife worked

I wouldn't think it odd, but would I be happy with my partner going on a walk with a school mum? Nope I wouldn't!

I don't go for coffee with other parents on the school run, who does that?
A straight man asking a woman for this kind of company usually means he is interested

If you were friends with the wife and your husband knew him it would be ok I suppose.
But inappropriate otherwise.

This is absolutely right. Men don’t normally say to other men they only know as acquaintances - do you want to go for a walk or grab a coffee - they certainly wouldn’t text them this. I think it’s a bit off, unless you and your partner were friends with him and his, OP

People always bring up work colleagues. The thing is careers and workplaces often attract people with similar interests and personalities (having worked in fashion, financial services and local journalism I have seen this in action) so I do think it is normal for friendships to develop
I'm in a football WhatsApp with 3 men from an old job. There's no connection here other than having procreated at the same time.

People could gossip about you and your best friend as well.

What did your partner think of that?

It’s fine. Lots of posters won’t believe he’s not trying to get on your pants or isn’t a
rapist though

Do unto others as you would have done to yourself.

How would you feel if you DH started to do this with school mum ?

Would you appreciate the open invitation ? Ie the wife texting your and DH for a walk so it's all open and you know also ?

Personally I'm sorry but I wouldn't be comfortable with this .

Id also polity turn him down. .

Don’t think many would be comfortable with it! Methinks some other posters doth protest too much!

It's ridiculous, imagine going home and telling your husband you're going for a walk and a coffee with a man from the school playground 😂
Or your husband coming home and saying he's off for a coffee and a walk with a woman from school.
Why would you do that?? It's like a date!

Don’t you usually know if someone is interested in more? Eye contact, smiling a lot etc?

I think its fine, but you have to be totally honest with yourself. If there even a slightest bit of flirting you need to stop it. Also, I would try and meet his partner, just to make sure she knows.

But personally, I would avoid it. I know the guy could be lovely and genuinely wanting an innocent company but I've seen enough in my life to know that this is the sure way to invite drama into your life.

This for me is something I have trouble with. I used to find making eye contact really difficult when I was younger. Now I’m older and more confident I find it easy and realise im probably making too much! What (apart from obv staring) is too much eye contact when it comes to being perceived as interested? Genuine question.

And also smiling, ppl smile to be polite and when they’re being friendly or like what you’re saying.

Sorry to sound like this is a wind up, I’m just curious and also worried I’ve been throwing off the wrong signals!

Oops look like this thread is a bit old now, came up on my Facebook feed…
Anyway, I’d be happier if I knew his partner, there was one dad when my DD was in primary that often came to meet me with the kids for arranged meet ups, and we’ve also been for dog walks etc together alone, but I also went with his wife other times…either one could show up and it wouldn’t matter. So wife fully aware and happy with it, she’d text and say ‘oh C is coming hope that’s ok’ . I’d be cautious if I thought his partner didn’t know and I didn’t know them. If they start complaining about their partner…run.

Wonder if they went for those walks…

Yes I wouldn’t have a problem with it, I chat to a few Dads at the gate, I think they often get ignored and can be lonely if they are SAHDs or WFH etc. just like anything though, I wouldn’t be available everyday and if someone got a little over friendly you would steer clear, male or female.

Can you update the thread please OP? It’s helpful with these scenarios because they’re often very divisive and it’s good for all of us to see what actually happens and what the intentions were.