Is It Weird to Go for Walks with a School Dad?

[safefmo]

I mostly work from home and often go for a walk after school drop-off. Recently I bumped into a school dad whose daughter is friends with my child. He’s nice enough and we’ll chat when we see each other.

Since then, he’s occasionally texted to ask if I want to go for a walk or grab a coffee. If he were a school mum, I wouldn’t think twice — but because he’s a dad, I’m second-guessing it. I don’t want it to get awkward, and I don’t know if his partner knows.

Am I overthinking this? Is it weird? If you were his partner, would you find it odd?

Am definitely not interested in this going anywhere. As far as I can tell, he is happily married and so am I. However, as our kids are good friends, I usually try to make a bit more of an effort to get to know their parents and thats how I see this.

I wouldn’t but if you feel comfortable that it’s all above board, then it’s up to you.

Are you having the coffee in a cafe with the dogs under the table, or buying takeaway while walking back to your respective places?

Why? If she was available surely they’d prefer a catch up as a couple without you around!

I don’t understand the mentality on here sometimes. People moan that their partners don’t do an equal share or step up with their kids lives and friends. I often go to the park after school on a Friday with one of the dads who are also available at that time. If my husband is off he does the same. Sometimes on the rare occasion I can do drop off I often walk back home with one of the dads and we have a coffee. We text each other (and I also text the female partner too if I know they are off). We don’t feel the need to have to include the partner who is at work for every conversation.

Last Friday one of the dads messaged me as he knew I was doing pick up and asked if I wanted to go to the pub after pick up (we often do this with whoever is available on the day and it’s a very child friendly pub). He knew my husband works Friday afternoon so why would he include him?

I did. I’m now really close friends with his wife

Wouldn’t bother me. I have friends who are men. My DH has friends who are women

Why? She has a partner too? Surely it would be less weird if he has a partner, not that every single parent is man-woman eater at all!!

So a person with a partner can never have coffee with a friend of the opposite sex?

Kevin was seen as less manly than other men though.

As long as you are both up front about it and not hiding it from your spouses. If everyone is ok with the situation then and you don't think theres an ulterior motive then no harm I guess.

It personally wouldn't do for me and would not like DH doing it but that might be a generational and possibly past experience thing.

I think it’s fine

Interesting to read other people's take on it as one of my main concern is that the girl's mum doesn't think it's weird. Obviously I know there's nothing going.

Why do people have to go for a coffee because they do the school run? It’s no hardship not to be invited for a coffee. 🤣 Life and friends do extend beyond the school run, shock horror.

One on one and he has partner? Nope.

Of course they can....but this school dad has a partner.

My partner goes out for lunch with an ex colleague (female) every other week whilst I'm at work. They usually go to a museum or national trust place and have a 'day out' together. My dp got a good inheritance and took early retirement to concentrate on his councilor work, I need to keep working. Why should he sit at home twiddling his thumbs?

If his other half is ok with it, it's fine.

And??

So normally i would be in the "yep seems fine" camp, but there was MN school dad thread last week where he'd "had his head turned" by a school mum walking back to the car with him like twice. The SAHD OP in that was married ("platonically married" in his words, don't ask me what that means - I do not know) and this mum was just walking through a car park with him and yet he was reading a lot into it.

Hopefully some other posters saw that thread, I'm not explaining it well

In the past, this wouldn't have seem odd to me. Then my husband had an affair which started in similar circumstances. Now it would be a hard no from me, but I accept that I'm particularly sensitive to these things.

What does your husband think about it?

I think it’s fine, especially as you’ve said your children are really good friends and have had play dates, so you’ve already got an existing “link”.
If you get on well with him, I’d invite the child and both parents round sometime.

I think that's fine, it's not like he's asked to go to a rent-by-the-hour hotel. If you get weird vibes, don't go again.

This is so utterly illogical in every possible way.

My DH does school pick ups and goes on dog walks with another mum. It's clear as day that it's platonic so I have no concerns - I don't think it's strange as an activity, but you will know better than any us though if it's likely to be anything more.

How would you (OP) feel about your husband walking the dog with a school mum and/or going for coffee with them? From experience, platonic friendships with men too often end up with them confusing innocent friendliness for flirting and it then ruins what friendship you had because you feel uncomfortable with them, especially if they've made an unwelcome pass. Walking to school with other children and their dads is fine, but I wouldn't go dog walking or for coffee with them, it can be misinterpreted as being open to more than innocent friendship and it would be very awkward for your children to stay friends if an atmosphere was created 😉