Best Amazon Prime Day deals: Mumsnet favourites

Best Amazon Prime Day deals:
Mumsnet favourites

Shop now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Old friends going a bit ' funny'

181 replies

Daygloboo · 27/01/2026 14:58

Not really AIBU. More a general question. I've had 2 very dear friends who go back years and years. One from school. One from later teenage years. Always had a great laugh, been on holidays, etc etc. Been geographically far apart for a long time but still met up occasionally, emails now and then, odd text here and there, few phone calls etc. But not constant contact as just too difficult to keep it up due to everyday life getting in the way and them living hundreds of miles away. ( They arent connected to each orher ). Then a couple of years ago I just noticed a sort of almost disrespectful lack of effort creeping in, which i found hurtful as we really had been very good friends. I know they werent getting demented or anything like that even though they are getting older, but they seem to be much more indifferent or almost disrespectful in their communication style than they once were. Sort of self - obsessed and wrapped up in themselves. It was never like that before. Anyone else had this ? Do such good friends really drop off and almost change character after so many years ? There has been no alienating ' event' or anything like that. Or did I not know the real them in the first place ? What are your experiences of this. It really is a bit confusing and upsetting as I have such fond memories.

OP posts:
Mary46 · 29/01/2026 17:58

Flower yes agree you need positive people. Think Im more fussy with my time now. Time wasters I got rid of and must catch up soon xx ones lol

Huckleberries · 29/01/2026 18:02

That made me properly LOL 😂😂😂

Huckleberries · 29/01/2026 18:13

@Daygloboo I meant your comment about lands end and John O'Groats sorry it didn't link

fortyfoursandwiches · 29/01/2026 20:46

@FlowerFlour its so sad isnt it? and the hardest thing is- you grieve the loss of who your friend used to be but she isnt dead, she's just....not herself any more. It's such a weird feeling.

Missing whom someone used to be feels so pointless and sad

MeSeM · 31/01/2026 20:26

Daygloboo · 27/01/2026 14:58

Not really AIBU. More a general question. I've had 2 very dear friends who go back years and years. One from school. One from later teenage years. Always had a great laugh, been on holidays, etc etc. Been geographically far apart for a long time but still met up occasionally, emails now and then, odd text here and there, few phone calls etc. But not constant contact as just too difficult to keep it up due to everyday life getting in the way and them living hundreds of miles away. ( They arent connected to each orher ). Then a couple of years ago I just noticed a sort of almost disrespectful lack of effort creeping in, which i found hurtful as we really had been very good friends. I know they werent getting demented or anything like that even though they are getting older, but they seem to be much more indifferent or almost disrespectful in their communication style than they once were. Sort of self - obsessed and wrapped up in themselves. It was never like that before. Anyone else had this ? Do such good friends really drop off and almost change character after so many years ? There has been no alienating ' event' or anything like that. Or did I not know the real them in the first place ? What are your experiences of this. It really is a bit confusing and upsetting as I have such fond memories.

I hope you're feeling better now after everyone's enlightenments here, thinking of you & hope you will be able to communicate to your friends how you've been feeling...

NotSmallButFunSize · 03/02/2026 22:51

Gwenhwyfar · 29/01/2026 16:19

Why would you be drinking a caffeinated drink after 8pm though? Problem is that as we get older some of us need more rest and sleep so an earlier meeting time is better. Eating late gives some of us acid.
What's so bad with meeting earlier during the week and leaving the later meetups for the weekend?

Well firstly, decaf does exist....

And also, barely anyone can seem to even manage a weekend evening either!! Got to be in bed by 9 every bloody night apparently!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page