To disagree that my child is a picky eater- it's a PIL one

[Mnunhie]

My 3 year old (nearly 4) likes mainly 'saucy' meals as he would put it. He likes spag bol, curry, chilli. However he hates gravy. He therefore will not eat shepherds pie, hotpot, and he finds a Sunday roast too dry.
This caused my in-laws great consternation over the Christmas period but it was mainly huffing and puffing and TBF the kids were plied with a lot of chocolate so he didn't eat much dinner anyway.
We have just been to their house again this weekend and it came to Sunday lunch time. DS didn't want the chicken roast dinner he was served, just eating the carrots. I fished out some houmous we had for lunches and then he happily ate his chicken and potatoes with this. However this has pushed PIL over the edge who have declared something must be done about his picky eating.
I feel annoyed by this. I grew up with a sibling who ate nothing but chicken nuggets and biscuits in childhood so perhaps my view of what constitutes picky eating is therefore skewed.
DH said he's only little and he will come to it in his own time. I just feel even if he doesn't, it's just a totally understandable preference!

YABU- Get some Yorkshire pudding down him, he is a picky eater
YANBU- sounds like a normal 4 year old

It doesn’t sound like he is particularly unhealthy, just has strong preferences. I would ignore the PIL

So this is a disagreement about gravy??? He doesn’t sound fussy to me at all!

I mean yeah, he's probably picky by their generation's standards, but less so by younger generations

My PIL think my dc are picky eaters too
They aren't and neither is your son.

The problem is that what they consider " normal food" ie roast dinners, are there food your son doesn't like so he will always appears like a fussy eater in front of them.
Can you bring a separate dinner for him that he does like. Might alleviate some of the commenting.

I eat most things and love my gravy. But I’m very fussy about poor gravy (I’m a complete snob re bisto). I’d tell the PIL to calm down.

It actually doesn’t matter whether he’s a picky eater or not, it’s none of their business. You didn’t ask them to accommodate his requirements but dealt with them yourself.

He’s THREE! He’s allowed to decide what he likes AND change his mind from one day to the next!

He doesn’t sound picky to me. Sounds like he has a preference for strong flavours. Do your PIL only offer bland meals?

It doesn’t really matter what he’s called. He likes sauce but dislikes gravy. Your PIL can die in a ditch over this one but the might and terror that is a 3-4 yr old and their humour reserves will win supreme. Do they suggest you hold him down and force him to eat?!?!

One of mine doesn’t like gravy and thus doesn’t really like a Sunday dinner. Will eat the yorkies and veg. Loves a curry.

He is allowed preferences about food.

One of mine loves what I call piss water
gravy as well I think it’s gross. The rest of us like a decent gravy.

Our granddaughter doesn't like gravy. She puts red sauce over everything.

My son used to eat part of a Sunday lunch with mayonnaise he didn't like gravy

I think if people don’t like what the person in question likes, they call them picky, eg if they love a roast and mash and a child doesn’t like mash but eats everything else under the sun, they’ll call them fussy.

He's still very young and it sounds like he likes a good variety of flavours. He's still getting to like different textures and consistency, and not liking drier foods isn't "picky", just a preference at the moment. If you're going over there again for a roast maybe take him something separate to have so that he's not being set up to fail by PIL's standards. Alternatively think of a different sauce that could be put on his roast dinner.

So what if he is picky? He eats a variety of food, and presumably is healthy and meeting developmental milestones, so let him get on with it.

I was a VERY picky eater as a child, and it caused a lot of stress when some adults would try to make me eat things I didn't want to eat. (on one occasion being forced to eat an awful gristly stew, which made me vomit. I was then punished for being sick as well as not eating my school lunch). I was very healthy, fit, sporty and academic, and eventually my parents just accepted my limited diet.

As an adult I eat a wide range of foods, but there are still quite a few things I won't eat. And I call out anyone who mocks or has a go at me for my food preferences.

There are lots if things to be concerned over re young children. Not eating gravy isn't one of them.

None of PILs business. I used to hate gravy and most vegetables as a child, and my Sunday roasts were always smothered in ketchup. My mother reckoned as long as I ate a reasonable amount of decent food I'd be okay. I was, and now eat almost anything, barring offal and oysters.

Would he eat it with a non-gravy sauce? Cheese sauce? Tomato sauce etc? Could you take a tub/packet?

I notice alot of the older generation get on thier high horse about picky eating… a lot believe you should eat what your given. I don’t blame your DS, a roast is dry without gravy. My mum doesn’t have gravy but she uses mint sauce. I’m not overly fussed about gravy except on a roast otherwise I could live without it. Dc and DP absolutely love it.

Love a carvery …hate gravy

Could baked beans be added to the shepherds pie mince to see if it’s a colour dislike? The brown of gravy??

It is picky but the trick is finding a work around eg smothering roast chicken with cranberry sauce.

Well, your child IS picky. He only likes certain things and but others. It’s fine if you’re ok with it. But your PIL are factually correct. It’s not like he eats everything except roasts. It’s odd he likes chilli but not shepherds pie… it’s the same expect one has potato on top.

I wasn't much of a gravy eater as a child. I still don't like that chicken/turkey gravy some people do.

I never serve shepherds pie cottage pie with gravy. Mine is basically bolognese with added carrots and mash on top. So pretty much saucy

So what if he is a picky eater 🤷‍♀️ yes he is picky and he will most probably grow out of it, as you don’t fuss like FIL generation did

why is it an issue, you’re the one that has to deal with it

at least he eats food

Would your PILs eat a chilli con carne?
I'm guessing not.
Must be picky eaters then!

He’s not that bad as a picky eater tbh