Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

Have you tried to call an ambulance recently? She could have been waiting hours as the ambulance service is massively stretched. This was the best plan for an 11 year old who would have been in agony.

Lol

Maybe his friends wanted to visit his baby?Maybe it was an opportunity to see his friends that doesn't impact on family time? He seems quite capable of handling a situation to me.

Did he message you and would you have come back if necessary?

I dont agree with the asumption by other posters that he could have just taken baby and she and he stay in the car at the drop off

You never know what you're going to get at A+E, the sister and their mum might have needed physical support getting into the building, finding a chair, finding a wheelchair or whatever is necessary and none of them are going to know what they need or awaits them, they're not medics. What are you going to do wtih baby then?

Could DH not look after DD on his own, did he need friends with him?

I would have called an ambulance for an injured child.

Have you literally never had to look after more than one child at a time?

Your comment makes no sense?

We also don’t know it isn’t the case. You launched straight into ‘nope. Mum doesn’t know them so no’ but you acknowledge if it was someone you knew and trusted it would be fine.
so you don’t trust a DH to have a clue but think mother’s do?

I’m a pain the arse when it comes to my kids and leaving them with people. But I think I’d be ok with this. I’d expect a heads up (but equally he may not have wanted to disturb your brunch if you don’t get out much)

What are you on about ?

This isn’t a run of a mill situation is it?

Do any of the friends have children? Before I had DS I had never had experience of babies

So he should make his life harder than it needs to be because...why, exactly?

Do you know that the friends don't have children of their own? I don't see that in the OP anywhere.

Its not necessary to call an ambulance, there is someone there that can drive her and they'll be waiting hours and hours for an ambulance.

This is what family do for each other dont they?

He made a choice to arrnage emergency childcare for his child. And he has the right to do that. Unless OP is going to drip feed that they were all drunk or something

No, that's why I asked the question???

I have no idea how this is relevant?

He knows his friends and was happy to leave his child with them.

I take it you never had any visitors visit you while you were on your own LOOKING AFTER YOUR OWN CHILD?!

It's quite telling that you've ignored those asking if you would leave your daughter with a friend in this situation. The silence suggests you would so why is it not ok for him to do the same?

I think the OP would have said if the victors had good experience with babies. Even if they did I would have expected him to let OP know the plan in advance (given her a 2 second phone call) so she could have started home immediately.

It's not hard.

Sometimes there is more than one child present with needs to meet, as is the case here.

The older child needed to go to A&E, nevertheless the father was also responsible for his own baby.

It's not obvious that the DH couldn't have called time on the meeting with his mates and gone to A&E with the baby to meet his mother and sister.

It's not obvious at all that the only solution for the DH was to leave the child with these people, many people would not have done that, and that would be their choice and their call.

I would have expected this too

lol at the posters criticising him for having his pals over. Clutching at straws, much?

it’s an exceptional event. Shit happens. It’s fine.

Why didn't he phone OP? Are you being serious?

So the first time he has the baby on his own, there is an emergency in the family and he rings OP, interrupting her much needed time out away from the house to do what exactly?? It's not like she could do anything other than come home, or demand he deal with it in a specific way, she'd most likely cut her outing short, so why she be guilted into coming home, when he has sorted it, there and back within an hour.

I think it's great he didn't ring you and make it your problem, it's not ideal that he left baby with his friends that you don't know, but assuming they are capable people and he knows them well and trusts them, why would there be a problem? Taking a potentially screaming baby in the car with an 11 year old with broken bones is definitely not the right solution to the problem, so he made a judgement call.

I think he did the the right thing given the circumstances.