Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

Had it been me, I would have done the following:

1. Put DD in the car seat
2. Driven to A&E to support the little sister
3. Called OP to say what was happening, please meet at the hospital to collect DD instead of going home first, in the event I'm not back.

I would not have left a 6 mo with my friends. Not because they're fundamentally flawed but just not at that age. Sometimes the baby has to come with, if the OP and her DH have more children, this could happen too.

No big deal IMO

Have you left home with a 6 month old recently @OVienna ?

Where would baby car seat go if the mum was sitting with her daughter (who would have been probably crying/screaming in pain )in the car? . Mum supporting arm and clavicle etc
My 10 yr old broke her arm falling off a bike and absolutely no way would she have been capable supporting her arm .pin car. She also vomited on the way to AE .
I have also had similar injury and the pain is absolutely terrible. .

They were friends of your husband, three adult people. I would imagine between them they could manage to look after a six month old baby for an hour. I would have been more concerned if it was just one friend who might do something silly or if the baby was much younger when they are very dependent and you have to be very careful holding them. I assume your DH had a phone if they had had any problems.

And perhaps his friends wanted to see the baby, not just that he didn't want to be alone with her.

Could he have contacted you first to see if you could come back?

I think for future reference I would say to him to always call you first should another unexpected event happen. All my friends are mothers so I would have no issue leaving a baby with them, but I wouldn’t be happy about leaving them with anyone who had scant experience of looking after a baby.

You said he was gone for an hour and she needed a bottle during that time

No doubt he had to go quikcly and not faff about planning bags and bottles for baby

Hi
I have two children. What does it matter how recently it is?

Why? Your DD would have been worse off with this set up by far. He made a sensible choice in an unexpected situation and she was absolutely fine.

Really? I used to quite often have friends round when DD was little and DP was out. It meant I could see my friends, they got to meet DD, without DP having her already limited free time being interrupted by my friends.

@Butonlyjust I would have had to take my DDs as I was breastfeeding at that stage anyway. Needs must.

Would it be probably just about ok if the mum had an emergency and had to leave the baby with friends for an hour or is it just a man who can’t make this call?

His dad has passed away, his mum is as with her but can’t drive so asked DH to drop them off.

Put the baby in the car seat and taken the baby.

No way would I leave a non verbal child with any unrelated male. It’s just not worth the risk and no way for the child to tell you if something happens.

Now imagine….
Baby has just started a bottle when he receives the call. So she needs to finish that.

and then of course burping

and…. Oh… poonami
Wash and change

she’s still hungry!

Ok a small bottle

Meanwhile a young girl screaming in agony

Major question is why you don't know your husband's friends with whom he is happy to leave his baby. Another major question is why you would not trust his judgement.

I trust DH to make the right decision with the kids - he is their dad so able to make his own decisions about what is right. Sometimes it is not always the same one I would make - I have anxiety about some things but trust that he is just making a normal decision, not hampered by my over thinking!

Kids are 15, 17 and 19 now so obviously things all worked out ok!

'Screaming in agony' and the whole thing swings on the DH?

Call an ambulance?

This.

Massive case of PFB. Baby was safe, warm, and better off in her own home.

The sex never occurred to me. I would not want a child of 6 months who had never been without a parent before left with people who had zero experience of a child of 6 months old.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with.

Perhaps you are upset because one of baby's "firsts" has been spoiled?
As in you were imagining a big occasion for the first time leaving baby, with the GP, as a milestone. And now this has been pre-empted.

likely told that 45 minute wait!!

Why on earth did your husband need someone to keep him company whilst he was LOOKING AFTER HIS OWN CHILD?!

Where were the sister's parents, and why didn't they step in for their daughter? Your husband's overriding duty is to his own newborn.I would be asking myself why he didn't phone you to explain, wait for you to return, then go with his sister if needed.Absolutely not ok.

As an adult and parent, I'd hope he felt equipped to deal with the situation without asking OP to cancel her first afternoon out in 6m.

Would you leave your baby alone for an hour with your friends?