Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

Why are you trying to minimise his sister’s injury?
You sound ridiculous.

Yes that could have worked, assumes of course that the 3 friends could all drive, that they all had their respective car with them (might have walked to the house or got public transport), or that the sister didnt want her brother for comfort and support.

But good outcome all round, baby safe at home with routine not disrupted, sister treated in hospital, OP enjoying her lunch without interruption

@ByWarmShark
I know what you mean, 3 of them, including a woman, it reduces the chances of something going wrong.

I do get Op must have had a bit of a shock to get home, finding 3 friends with her baby and no DH.
I just hope she's vented on here and not to DH who did the right thing and probably made a snap decision but trusts his friends.

I'll stand by him, hes a keeper with good mates, who took great care of baby.

I’m just giving my opinion 😂 I said I could understand why OP was upset. You feel differently, that’s fine. I’m not going to make the same point 1,000 and argue the toss until the end of time.

It also assumes the friends know exactly where his mum lives.

Keep in mind he probably made the decision "Yes Mum I'll be there just now" in the space of 20 seconds. While friends have said 'we'll stay with baby'.

It probably never entered his head that Op would be upset by him leaving the baby with his friends who he clearly trusts.

Or have heard of Google maps. It's an app that gives you directions. Apparently not everyone has heard of it...

Getting an injured child to hospital is not the time for faffing around with Google Maps and street layouts you aren't sure off.

Google maps is wonderful for collecting random stuff from Facebook marketplace, not for getting a seriously injured child to hospital

Because many have experienced a broken arm and/or collar bone or know someone who has. There isn't any screaming, there isn't 'emotional or physical support ' required. You give them painkillers and they get a cast and sling. Not so much me minimising as some folk being dramalamas.

Rightly or wrongly the op and her dh agreed not to leave their dc with people, for him to override that without even a brief chat would seem a bit shit imo. But we can all agree to disagree.

The dc wasnt seriously ill and putting a postcode into maps is a 20sec job.

Jesus christ, she is fucking 11 years old

A work colleague of mine broke a leg on a rugby pitch, vomited and passed out, couldnt be moved. He was in agony. Emotional and physical support was needed.

He's not unusual. And not an 11 year old girl.

And I know categorically my 10 yo soon to be 11 year old would need "support". He'd incredibly squeamish so even the thought of it would freak him out, and his response to pain tends to be a high pitched scream.

'Jesus christ' yes breaking a leg would be awful I agree with you there. Can also be life threatening due to bleeding internally. Unlike broken arms.

The ops dh was in agreement with the whole not leaving the dd thing. He knew and didn't even run it by her.

"There isn't any screaming, there isn't 'emotional or physical support ' required."

Really? No emotional or physical support needed for an eleven year old with broken bones? Now you're taking the piss.

Where does it say he was in agreement with not leaving her. This keeps being stated, perhaps by you alone but its not in OPs posts.

I think it is a little strange how you say "DH said he would have DD" shes's his daughter why would he even have to say it? Does he not normally have her on his own?

She had multiple fractures and again, could have had fractured ribs that could have punctured a lung or her liver. That broken collarbone could have torn blood vessels. She could have had multiple internal injuries and bleeding and head trauma. She needed to get assessed and treated ASAP. Yes, an 11 year old with multiple injuries including fractures is going to need physical support in the back of a car and some emotional and someone right there to monitor them. A baby in a car seat is in the way of that. Yes, they will be in a lot of pain and be frightened.

People die from falls all the time.

Think we're wasting time with this poster, who apparently knows that all multiple fractures above the waist, with or without head and spinal injuries is sorted with a couple of spoons of Calpol and a trip to the hospital by bus at some point later in the day.

Or even that the friends drive! Or at least drove to the DH. Most of my childhood friends visit us by train so wouldn't have been an option for us.

Even if the DH was happy for his friends to drive his car (assuming they had 3rd party from fully comp on their own car), I know it takes me at least one drive to feel comfortable in a different car.

She’s 11!!! You should incredibly uncaring. I have an 11 year old and he would definitely need support.

I can’t work out if you’re totally batshit, on the wind up or just enjoy being contrary.

At the end of the day, he reacted to an emergency by taking one of a number of very sensible options. He didn’t do anything wrong.

Finding the exact house isn't always easy.
Driving streets you don't know isn't great either.

Why is it in any way more sensible to send a friend to take the sister to hospital than to leave the baby with the friends?

Did they actually agree or was that just her?

Being fair to both Op and DH the chances of them discussing the unlikely event that his Mum phones with a genuine emergency while Op was out to lunch is pretty remote.

Can you picture the thread.
I'm going out to lunch
Baby will be with DH
What should he do in a genuine emergency?

The answer would be are you always this paranoid.
Go to lunch and stop worrying

I expect the DH would be keen to be there in person to help his mum and young sister rather than send a friend.

And it wasn't incumbent on the DH to brainstorm all the possible solutions to getting his sister to hospital, do a full safeguarding and risk assessment on each, then choose the optimal approach.

Him deciding to take help his mum and sister while his friends babysat for an hour is a perfectly reasonable, rational and safe decision. We could argue the toss forever on whether it was the best available option but it's irrelevant - it was good enough.

putting a postcode into maps is a 20sec job.
Finding the exact house isn't always easy.

Had a tradesman coming to my house last week. He called to say he was outside my house. He wasn't. Sat Nav had sent him to the next street. And he was local and should have known without SatNav.

No way on this earth would I consider driving a car on 3rd party insurance.
Far too much money in the event of a stupid accident.

And you know what, can you imagine the reverse.
I phoned my adult son to help me get his badly injured sister to hospital.
Was it wrong of him to send his pal who wasn't used to his car and who stalled it, jumped on the brakes while his sister was getting jolted around in pain.