To not want to meet friend for coffee today?

[ThestoriesIcouldtellyou]

Just back from a girls weekend. One of my friends didn't organise a way to get back home and slept on another friends sofa last night. Now it's Monday morning and she is at a loose end. All her friends (including me) are working. I work from home. She has asked me for a coffee either after lunch or later l, but I only have an hours lunch break and don't finish work until 5:30pm. Then I'd booked the gym for 6pm, haven't been for a week due to illness and was really looking forward to it. AIBU to just say no? I wouldn't mind meeting for a quick coffee at 1.45 for ten mins but I think she will expect to come to my house and then I have no way to get rid of her.

She can only trap you if you let her.
Tell her you can pop the calendar in to the friend's house this eve but can't stop as you have loads to do after the weekend.

So stop being a total sap and getting her a calendar from work?

Yes I think that's the best plan, best on the way to the gym, then I can come back from the gym and enjoy my precious two hours of peace. I know some people say wet lettuce, but I say lots of people need to read the room better.

Realistically by the time you travel there and wait for a drink it's likely to way over ten minutes, so unless there's a serious reason she needs to talk, I wouldn't feel bad saying it doesn't work for me today.

I had the chance to get one for free so that in itself is not problem, but if I have to start organising postage etc and going out of my way then...no.

😂

I don’t understand it either

Only someone without any job at all, who is utterly oblivious, could think it's ok to put upon people like this on a Monday. I felt sorry for my friend, who had to get her down into the centre of town at 7 am this morning with her two kids and hand her off God knows where before she went to work. Then again, I'd have told her that she needed to bring her car because the train plan was frankly half baked.

😂 😂

I don't bloody know why she doesn't go home either! This morning there was an early bus that would have got her halfway home and from there she could have taken the train. It's because it's easier for her to sofa surf another night and get a lift in the car tomorrow. And because she is a housewife with nothing to do as her kids are adolescents.

Just forget the silly calendar. She hasn't even paid for it so it's not like you owe it to her. She's 100% going to try and use it to trap you.

She's lovely in some ways but has no filter and is also when of those people who is completely comfortable for you to turn up any time and stay the night..I'm not.

"I'm not available later at all in the evening, sorry. I can bring the calendar to coffee or drop it into X's on my way out this evening - which works best for you?"

I’d say ‘I’m not around this evening’ (how dare she assume you’ve got loads of time?) and suggest another day that does suit.

The most ridiculous thing is offering a coffee in ten mins 😂

”sorry but I won’t be free this evening. Have a safe trip home. Great seeing you!”

To be honest your friend sounds quite blunt and direct and I think you need to respond in kind. Bc she will take advantage if you’re wishy washy.

Just tell her, you cannot accommodate her. So you’re happy to drop the calendar off, say hello, but you can’t offer accommodation or take her out etc. if that is her plan she needed to give much more notice for you to sort things out to accommodate that.

She is blunt to the point of impolite quite often. I am extremely polite and wouldn't dream of asking people for what she does. We're just very different.

Sure, but maybe you need to tell her in a way she understands and respond in kind. Your way of communicating is nice but it’s not appropriate in this situation. Her way of communicating is better bc it’s not ambiguous here.

Read the room better how? She’s a cheeky fucker, you’re a people pleaser. What else do we need to ‘read’?

There is no way out of this OP, you are just going to have to see her this evening.

“Sorry can’t do today as too much other stuff going on”. Easy.

Are you joking?

So have you told her no yet?

She just sounds like a bit of a shit friend tbh.

I’d be a bit worried about her tbh ?
no plans to go home , still hanging around , no work? And not getting hint ? Is there something else wrong ?

Ok.