To not want to meet friend for coffee today?

[ThestoriesIcouldtellyou]

Just back from a girls weekend. One of my friends didn't organise a way to get back home and slept on another friends sofa last night. Now it's Monday morning and she is at a loose end. All her friends (including me) are working. I work from home. She has asked me for a coffee either after lunch or later l, but I only have an hours lunch break and don't finish work until 5:30pm. Then I'd booked the gym for 6pm, haven't been for a week due to illness and was really looking forward to it. AIBU to just say no? I wouldn't mind meeting for a quick coffee at 1.45 for ten mins but I think she will expect to come to my house and then I have no way to get rid of her.

For goodness sake just speak up, say sorry I’m shattered after the weekend and will be going to bed when I get in, will catch up with you another time, safe trip home. I can’t believe how many people on here can’t say no to anything or have to overthink it.

this. Grow a backbone OP

OP have you given her the firm but polite brush off yet?
I'm getting 2nd hand anxiety that she's going to turn up at your house early and stay well into the evening (I have a friend just like this)
In your first post you say you've been ill, you really should prioritise yourself and have a restful evening like you planned.

YANBU to say im sorry im not free for coffee as im working and really busy.
YANBU to say i could meet for a quick coffee but only have 15 mins as im working and really busy.
it depends what you want to do ...

Just say no, you’re working. Which you are.

Then just say you have plans. You’ve just spent days with her so not like you haven’t seen her for ages.

No is a complete sentence. Tell her you are going to the gym but will arrange something another time and leave it at that. She strikes me as the type if you give her an inch she will take a yard.

Just be honest op, her lack of planning and loose end is not your problem to fix.

I would just say that you have plans after work and then you're getting an early night as you're wrecked after the weekend so it doesn't suit.

Essentially she's using you because she's bored and that's not a fair reason to put herself upon you. I wouldn't even have offered the 10 min coffee tbh. After 3 days with people my social meter would be maxed out.

I think replies like this can be unfair. Whenever I read similar threads my immediate reaction is that what we've got here is an OP who is a people pleaser (maybe due to upbringing) who doesn't believe they have the right to say no, or that it's OK to say no, just because they don't want to. But OP, it is OK to say no and put yourself first. You don't have to accept being her entertainments committee.

Just say no, OP, you’re being a real wet blanket here 😂 sorry if that’s mean but I’m in an absolute mood today so everyone is getting short shrift.

So she slept on the friends sofa last night because it was too late to make her way home? So why didn’t she get up first thing this morning and start making her way home? If she only lives an hour away she could have been home by now.

She’s just spent all weekend with you, it’s Monday and everybody has gone back to work/normal life. Does the friend know she’s planning on spending another night on her sofa or does she want to stay with you tonight?

Just say no and tell her to go home.

Send the 'can't, will be shattered after the gym and work' message then DO NOT open or answer any more of her messages today.

“I won’t have any time this evening either as I’m Jam packed catching up after a weekend away. Was great to see you, hope you have a good journey back”

Just say no sorry I can’t. It’s not difficult

The wet lettuce here is next level

Why does it take over a day to organise a one-hour journey? 😂

"I can't this evening, im busy. lets rain check x"

You are being bit silly, you don't have to just go along. she's not holding you at gunpoint.

"Sorry, I have plans all evening (which you do, even if that's relaxing), look forward to seeing you at the next get together"

I can be a bit of a people pleaser but even I would have no problem just saying "so sorry I can't today I've got loads on - let's catch up again soon though!" Like seriously that's the easiest thing ever.

!!! exactly. its a new day, get moving. she's obviously not ready for the break to end, poor love.

You need to be direct. As in “I’m not socialising tonight, sorry”

Use your communication skills and just say no. Sorted.

Why do you need to ask this? Jesus.

Maybe she is..... 🤔

I’m sorry but why on earth didn’t you just tell her no, instead of coming out with a whole load of waffle?