To go LC with PILs because FIL voted for Trump?

[EachotherAndAnother]

I've been married for 18 years, two primary-aged DC. My ILs are American. They live about 20 mins drive from us (in the UK). For most of my marriage we've gotten along fine-ish, although I've often felt like they cross a lot of boundaries and have learned to be judicious about how much I open up to them. But they're hospitable and generous - have helped us financially when buying our house, help with the DC in the holidays etc.
They've occasionally made comments that have rubbed me the wrong way, but I've dismissed them as typical boomer nonsense - e.g. the idea that poor people are usually poor because they've make bad choices. They also cautioned their other son (DH's brother), who was planning to (and did) marry a Black woman, that any time a "minority" has married into the family it's ended up causing problems and division. But by and large I keep my conversations with them superficial and manage to rub along ok. The DC adore them.
But - I recently found out that FIL voted for Trump. Any time a controversial issue has come up regarding politics in the US, the conversation gets shut down very quickly, but I had my suspicions and these are now confirmed. And maybe it's ridiculous but I just can't stomach being around them anymore - I'm disgusted that he felt a man like that deserved to be elevated to the role of president and I'm furious about the havoc that is unleashing in the States and elsewhere. I don't want my daughter (in particular, but also not my son) spending time with them, I just feel like they're completely different people from me, with completely different values.
They are oblivious to how I feel and would feel blindsided if I brought it up. We would definitely not be able to have a productive conversation about it. So AIBU to just quietly stop accepting invitations, offers of help etc and gradually distance my family from theirs, or is that a massive overreaction?

77 million Americans voted for President Trump. If you can't keep a decent relationship with someone because of politics, they don't need a fickle person like you in their life.

@PixieDust91 Fickle how?

Ignore the first reply, I wouldn’t associate with a Trump voter - related or not. Not unreasonable at all!

Does he still support Trump?

A tad hypocritical given that your shouting and screaming and insulting posters on another thread suggests that you can't control your temper around anyone who doesn't share your political views.

You lost me at 'boomer nonsence'. To dismiss an entire generation just because of when they were born is pretty dumb. And millions of Americans voted for him. You think you know better than them?

Anyone with even half of a moral compass would struggle to maintain a positive relationship with someone who supports Trump.

I'm not the one posting lies and fabricated stories, that literally get disproven within hours, just to try to get sympathy for a lie that I believed for years. It's hard to admit you were wrong and lied to for so long. I know! But that's step 1 in recovery. I hope you get there! :)

You aren’t coming across well

It is a dilemma. I entertained some visitors from US this summer that tried to tell me how he was a great guy . Without being nasty I just said that we have to shut down the conversation. Or I'd have to kick them out on their arses .
Don't bother cutting contact , they are just misguided . Trump hopefully will be gone soon but they will still be your family .No point in debating as you can't argue with stupid .

I can understand why you are disgusted and I would be too but maybe they realise the error of their ways. Maybe they agreed with one area of his polices and disregarded all the rest (still apprehensible I know) without realising how bad things would actually get second time around. I understand your reservations but I'd still let them see their grandkids. Cutting ties seems extreme.

Millions voted for Trump, many of
whom are good people. Politics in the US is so extreme and divisive now that it’s not as though there was a decent middle ground to
choose from. Trump promised economic
change, appealed to many working class voters and (certainly in the face of Biden/Harris) seemed a ‘strong’
choice.
The Democrats have embraced identity politics to such a degree that they’ve alienated many ‘average’ people. I don’t think voting for Trump is necessarily a ringing endorsement of the man, but sometimes the best of a bad choice. The idea that anyone who voted Republican somehow embodies all the Republicans soundbites (guns/anti abortion/Church) is clearly not the case.
Your reaction sounds utterly unhinged.

Reads like you’re looking for an excuse to go LC and you think this is it. YABU

Liberals think they know better than everyone, when they've been lied to for decades. That's the difference between a liberal that was a liberal 20 years ago, and the common day liberal. The common day liberal is like this poster and that is why the liberal party has a LESS THAN 6% approval rating in America. The logical and sane liberals left this side long ago.

Yes, interested to know this. Trump supporter during the election, annoying, not who I would've voted for, but fine. They are family and I think in that respect you just agree to disagree. Trump supporter now, absolutely not, severe moral differences, wouldn't want them anywhere near my children.

I think probably the right thing to do would be to try to engage them or get DH to engage them with the moral implications of the Trump administration, but YANBU for not wanting that kind of ideology near your kids.

"typical boomer nonsense": er, you do realize that many many American boomers (there are a lot of well educated liberal boomers!) did NOT vote for Trump?
I too would have trouble with MAGA idiocy. But you need to get a grip on your own idiocies..
Very Annoyed Boomer.

I’m in the US and left wing, would never vote for Trump and while I would never have voted for him and all the people I’m around have been up in arms about him, neither I nor they thought he would do what he’s done. I doubt most of the people who voted for him thought he would either. Not many still support him.

And, tbh, I had a hard time voting for a Democrat. They aren’t an attractive proposition. I live in a Democratic state that has a super majority in State government. It is one of the worst places to be poor in the nation. Democrats pay lip service to working class people and enrich their friends. There’s a lot of corruption that they have no interest in addressing. While I wouldn’t vote for Trump I totally see why some people would, even if just to try and rile the system - which puts the majority of Americans last.

I think you’re unreasonable to go lc or nc because of how he votes. Partly because voting for someone isn’t the same as agreeing with them or what they do, and partly because it entrenches the political divide and makes violence and authoritarianism more likely.

YANBU: he sounds highly ignorant, and what you described as "Boomer nonsense" really isn't! It's their nonsense!
I'm a Boomer, and would be very much opposed to his/their ignorant views!
Trump is a danger to world peace, and you're damn right to resent them and cut them off.

I would feel the same, @EachotherAndAnother .
Signed and with love and sympathy, a Boomer.

My In Laws voted for Trump and they are wonderful people. The did it because after a lifetime of voting for the Democrats they have completely lost faith in the party. It's their right and I completely respect that.

Don’t worry about it. That poster’s got issues with ‘liberals’.

"Boomer nonsense" is very ageist. Maybe people should avoid you!

Yes this is the joke. People bring up how bad Trump is, and I always say - but the American people voted him in. The American people (well the ones who voted for him) are the idiots.

Yes OP should take that into consideration.

I'm American and I would struggle in your situation. I guess I would try to figure out whether they still support him. If they voted for him and are regretful, dismayed, disgusted, horrified, etc. at seeing his actions it would be one thing. But if they still feel good about their choice, I couldn't have anything but the most superficial relationship with them.