To go LC with PILs because FIL voted for Trump?

[EachotherAndAnother]

I've been married for 18 years, two primary-aged DC. My ILs are American. They live about 20 mins drive from us (in the UK). For most of my marriage we've gotten along fine-ish, although I've often felt like they cross a lot of boundaries and have learned to be judicious about how much I open up to them. But they're hospitable and generous - have helped us financially when buying our house, help with the DC in the holidays etc.
They've occasionally made comments that have rubbed me the wrong way, but I've dismissed them as typical boomer nonsense - e.g. the idea that poor people are usually poor because they've make bad choices. They also cautioned their other son (DH's brother), who was planning to (and did) marry a Black woman, that any time a "minority" has married into the family it's ended up causing problems and division. But by and large I keep my conversations with them superficial and manage to rub along ok. The DC adore them.
But - I recently found out that FIL voted for Trump. Any time a controversial issue has come up regarding politics in the US, the conversation gets shut down very quickly, but I had my suspicions and these are now confirmed. And maybe it's ridiculous but I just can't stomach being around them anymore - I'm disgusted that he felt a man like that deserved to be elevated to the role of president and I'm furious about the havoc that is unleashing in the States and elsewhere. I don't want my daughter (in particular, but also not my son) spending time with them, I just feel like they're completely different people from me, with completely different values.
They are oblivious to how I feel and would feel blindsided if I brought it up. We would definitely not be able to have a productive conversation about it. So AIBU to just quietly stop accepting invitations, offers of help etc and gradually distance my family from theirs, or is that a massive overreaction?

I'm not a boomer, but couldn't agree more. Horrible comment from OP.
YABVVU OP to split a family based on politics.
Your sort of attitude is what leads to fractured societies.What is DH's opinion on your plans?
Have you considered you might have more similarities with Trump than you realise? That's what is coming across.

There’s also a much better argument that the ‘woke Democrats’ are Goldstein.

So you’re also okay with people hating their family members for marrying black people?

Yes but every time someone expresses an opinion that doesn’t fit the lefty agenda then they must be a trump supporter.

I don’t think it’s ’dangerous’ to expose children to different political views at all. In fact I think it’s really important they are, so they learn to listen to a breadth of political opinion, discuss them and form their own opinions. Despite many of 16yr old DS’s school mates liking Reform/Farage, he’s been perfectly capable of deciding for himself, that whilst there are a couple of things he might agree with, Reform would be a disaster for the UK. He just rolls his eyes when his mates disagree. What’s actually dangerous is bringing kids up in a political vacuum, where they are taught there is only one ‘correct’ view in our family and you’ll be ostracised for daring to think differently.

I can’t stand this bizarre tribalism that so many seem to subscribe to - e.g ‘if you voted Trump, you’re a bigot’ or closer to home, ‘if you voted Brexit, you’re a racist’. Or any of those combinations.

For most people, their voting is less black and white and more shades of grey. I vote the way I do not because I believe in everything the party stands for but because they are the lesser of two evils. And just because you vote differently to me, doesn’t give you moral superiority.

I’m really surprised that you’d consider separating your children from loving, generous grandparents (and cause all that heartache) over a tick on a ballot sheet and your conclusion that because they voted a certain way, they’re suddenly terrible people.

Sooo they’re your husbands parents, they’ve given you money, helped with your kids but you don’t like their politics and you judge them as boomers? The world is full of people who hold different views to yours. That’s life. However it’s not full of people who will love your children wholeheartedly. You don’t have to agree with them but surely you can navigate a sensible path through?

Was Emmanuel Goldstein a serial sexual abuser, out of interest? Only, there's scapegoating, and then there's actual misogynistic criminality. So, despite your ambiguous post, I'm guessing you're not claiming the argument that Trump is the illegitimate object of hate, but rather the perspective that argues that Trump himself plays the role of the authoritarian leader (Big Brother) by creating his own "Goldsteins"—using the term "enemies of the people" to describe the press, political opponents, or specific individuals to deflect accountability and unite his base.

Right?

The majority of posters on here seem perfectly comfortable with a President that enables the kidnapping of a five year old little boy in a hat with bunny ears and the cold blooded, deliberate murder of two US citizens by ICE as the lesser of two evils.

If your PILs still support Trump and his government after recent events, I couldn't be in the same room as them.

Nowhere does it say this is the case.

Excellent post

It’s not politics to not want to be around people who support rapists and paedophiles.

Yup this
Don't know how much has been deleted since last night, but if you're going to post CAPS LOCK insults to 'liberals' all over one thread then come on another and try to convince us trump voters are sane and reasonable, you could at least have the wit to name change first.

I do strongly suspect the poster you mentioned is a bot though but presumably that accusation is banned
Very extreme views presented in a very aggressive way with only insults to opposing views.

There’s politics & there’s Trump. I would feel the same OP

You’re overreacting. If everyone dismissed any family with different political beliefs to their own then no one would have any family left. You haven’t mentioned how your DH feels about it - if I was him I’d be fuming you were considering trying to deprive my kids of their grandparents (and take the kids away from my parents) just cos you disagree with their political beliefs. It’s selfish. You’re also teaching your kids that any time you disagree with someone else’s beliefs you should just cut them off. Not exactly preparing your kids for the real world or teaching them resilience.

Ah okay - deadly racism is bad, deadly homophobia and misogyny is good.

Thanks, I’ll write that down and remember it next time I need to vote.

I think Trump is abhorrent and should probably be serving time, although I do rather admire that he never raises his voice. When he gets angry he just says even more hostile or offensive things in exactly the same tone.

You are not taking into account that US politics is so different. Millions of people probably voted Republican for personal, local, state, economic or ideological reasons, rather than voting for Trump per se. There is no alternative to the two main parties on the right, centre or left for that matter.

Posted my reply before reading your update sorry. I think your FIL has the right idea about shutting down any conversation about politics. Theres no point, you’ll just end up in an argument. Can’t you just ignore the topic completely and keep the conversation light? I’d get not wanting to be around him if he was banging on about Trump all the time but if he’s actively avoiding the subject then he might be bearable to be around?

They're not your family but they are your children's! You say later that you don't intend to keep your children from them, but in your OP you say you don't want your kids to spend time with them. I think your OP is your true feeling.
While you have the right to not see them, you don't really have the right to deny your children access to loving, kind grandparents.
I often disagreed with my dad's opinions but I would just say to my kids that people have different beliefs and explain my own pov.

You say they help you with childcare and money - are you planning to return what they've given you financially? Since they are so offensive to you.

Misogyny is a prejudice I thought too obvious to mention, given the fact that Trump is a serial sexual abuser. Of women.

ETA : And I'm gay, so I reserve the right to assume my oppression under the Republicans' hateful ideology is also taken as read.

Where did OP say they 'hate' family members? I think you are reading a lot into it.

You can't really take the moral high ground if you write 'typical boomer nonsense' just accept that you all have your own special prejudices and unpalatable views and don't let Trump ruin your family life.

Western democracy is a con on the people. Perhaps you can think of him as someone who has simply been conned not only by Trump but by the entire political system and the ruling classes.

So very obvious racist views weren't enough to limit control but this is?