Are all fathers creepy?

[Alex122022]

My experience in a different thread (on swimming pool changing room etiquette) has been quite interesting: there seems to be a widely shared opinion that all men are creeps and there are never any innocent explanations for their behaviour.

While I completely agree that a father in a women's changing room - especially when there are older girls - is inappropriate, I can easily see how this could happen without any ulterior motive. Be it simply ignorance or lack of judgement.

I experienced the same on playgrounds: playing hide & seek with my daughter? Mothers approach my DW and tell her that "a perv" is watching the children. Playing with DD - well meaning mothers asking her whether she is ok or needs help.

AIBU to think this is a bit excessive?

It's the "go back for a different size" that is my question. How do I get this into the cubicle?

Oh Alex! You jumped the shark. Not that your intent wasn’t obvious from the start.

So you are a man then?

Stop looking for tips.

How do I cope when I go shopping with DS?
Its a mystery.

I somehow manage to engage my brain. Thats how.

I think I leave it to my DD to decide what she wants or does not want. But I'm really impressed by your skills to twist an argument. Why should I want to try to get women to talk about "girls bodies changing"?

She comes to the entrance , hands you the garment and says “get this in a smaller/bigger size dad”. For ease, it’s best to bring a couple of sizes with her anyway.

Decent men don’t even need to think about why it’s never appropriate for them to be anywhere near women’s changing rooms. It’s a completely alien concept to them. They just don’t do it, think about it, talk about it or make excuses why it’s different for them. It’s just not an option - at all, ever. Men who try to justify it are creeps. By definition.

Because you're a creep

Oh dear!!!!!!!!!!! Faux naivety really is tiresome. Am I allowed to say fuck off or will my comment get deleted. Who cares, it needs to be said.

Op if you want to be a good father, model to her what is appropriate eg. respect her personal space to the hilt and stay out of her changing rooms.
Tell her she owes no man politeness and that she must trust her instincts. Being wrong just means a few hurt feelings that a good man should be capable of coping with Vs growing up with trauma or worse.

I could hazard a pretty good guess.

You tell me though, why are you doing that?

It's not up to your dd to invite you into women's spaces either. You'll just have to navigate clothes shopping the same way I did with my sons.

Nail on the head

I have the impression there are a lot of creeps here - or people who love to believe that other people are creeps. There also appear to be a lot of people who clearly struggle to entertain a disinterested discussion.

Imagine needing to be told that. 😂 And he apparently is in charge of an actual human. Poor child.

Reported thread.

Its not a discussion though is it Alex?

Its you talked AT us.

Reported.

Alex’s imaginary daughter will soon work out that her Dad is a slimy git when her friends won’t come round to the house.

How do you think adult women manage? We don’t all bring an entourage of men into the cubicle with us.

What your teenage DD does or does not want is honestly irrelevant. It is not appropriate for you to go into the women’s changing room with her and you are likely to get kicked out if you try, whatever her views on the topic may be (though no teenage girl I have ever met wants her dad watching her undress, so unlikely to be an issue)

“I want to casually and disinterestedly chat about male violence, women’s trauma and child abuse…………..why are you all unable to do this?”

So, just to be sure that I understand the situation here....

The question is 'are all fathers creepy?' 'All' fathers. 100% of dads.

And right now, half of Mumsnet - so one person in two - thinks that that's a reasonable proposition. Half of Mumsnetters think it's reasonable to say that all fathers - including their own - is creepy.

....fucking hell.

It seems to be sensible to leave it here - there is nothing new and I appreciate that I have overstayed my welcome. I was never my intention to cause so much upset - I was asking a genuine question, but clearly this caused more upset than necessary.

Thank you to those who actually gave helpful answers. And I'm sorry to those who felt that my comments were inappropriate - this was not my intention, but I do believe I should explain when I feel that i'm misunderstood.