To be really upset about how DH just spoke to me??

[Chimney1]

The backstory sounds a bit weird, but anyway!!

I got rid of our back doormat about 6 months ago. There isn’t really space for one by the door as it interferes with being able to push the stools out at our breakfast bar. The backdoor isn’t used much in winter anyway, and in summer, I’ll just deal with cleaning the area.

DH is upset about this as thinks we need the mat. Today, he was outside and came in the backdoor and stepped in something (fox poo we think) and walked it inside. DD noticed and I said “yuck” or something. I wasn’t saying that to him, just at the situation, if that makes sense.

DH went on a tirade about this is why we need a door mat. I explained that the doormat I got rid of would have been worse (jute material), as it would have been awful to clean. He was insistent that that’s what doormats are for and was really acting in a way I didn’t like. He said everyone on this planet would agree with him. I sort of laughed to try and keep it a jovial disagreement, to try to defuse things, and said that I didn’t agree. He then said “you’re such an idiot at times!!!!”

DH has never said something like this to me before. We have been married for 12 years. Although I didn’t really like how he was speaking to me last weekend either, just more forceful than usual with his point of view.

Im really upset. I don’t think I deserved that comment. Although DD had left the room, she may have still been in earshot. I said to DH “that’s a horrible way to speak to me. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” He said something back, which I now can’t remember. AIBU?

Maybe he was just annoyed at stepping in the poo and took it out on you? It happens sometimes. It’s not nice but it’s a fairly human thing to do. And it did give strength to his argument that you need a mat . You disagree but you are free to say so too .

Speak up . Don’t be a …….doormat

If this is the worst argument you've had in twelve years you're onto a good thing. Your yuck has started a tit for tat, he wasn't nice but so long as he recognises that and apologises and you allow the consideration of some kind of mat inside or outside you'll be fine. The thin turtle ones wouldn't stop a stool being pushed back and can be washed.

Is this real ,Jesus how do you survive the real world 🤣🤣🤣

YANBU, you don't have to put up with that behaviour from your DH, nor should you.
However I would agree with him about the missing mat, that would irk me too.
You can buy machine washable mats that sit flat on the floor and are easy to keep clean, I have one by my back door. The jute mats are not very practical to keep clean .

Let's forget about the mat, the fox poo, the grass and the name calling for a while.
Let's get down to the nitty gritty: the OP says his reaction isn't even about the mat; there's an underlying reason for his perhaps, unkind behaviour of late.
Do you know what this is OP? Have you an educated guess?
When my husband is acting this way, sex is usually the protagonist and I have to guess where I've under achieved!

That's can't be true. If there's enough room for a person to stand, there's enough room for a mat, or at least a metal grid one to scrape stuff off your shoes. You're being pretty difficult about something basic.

What the hell are you on about? Is this serious?

I can not believe this thread has gone on this long without a diagram.

I really can not picture what you are saying at all??

This is scary actually. Bloody hell, what kind of relationships do other people have?

P.s. I am referring to poster who said he did it on ourpose to punish you and the poster who says it must be because you are underachieving at sex is funny and sad at the same time

I'm picturing Sylvanian Family Village?

Take it you can't or haven't read the OP's post. It's the kitchen not the hall for goodness sake.

What do you mean?

Edited for clarification

Get on local Facebook or free cycle groups and look for offers of free paving slabs.

You sound like a drama queen

Much ado about nothing … I really can’t believe what some people pick a fight over, he called you an idiot, it’s hardly the worst thing in the world and you’re taking it far too seriously, I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve said it to my OH.
As suggested, get two slabs (probably free on marketplace) put a good mat outside and take it with you when you move. Also I really can’t see how a good weighty thin doormat would impede the stools, local garden centres sell excellent ones that don’t slip, you won’t even notice them there, or Temu probably would too.
Life is far too short for petty quarrels over doormats, just move on.

😃why have they taken the laugh emoji away???

But DH wants one.

If you don’t want one in the house then you need to compromise by having one outside.

I hate that they’ve taken the laughing emoji away!

He said everyone on this planet would agree with him. I sort of laughed to try and keep it a jovial disagreement, to try to defuse things, and said that I didn’t agree. He then said “you’re such an idiot at times!!!!”

DH has never said something like this to me before. We have been married for 12 years. Although I didn’t really like how he was speaking to me last weekend either, just more forceful than usual with his point of view.

What happened last weekend?

This is a wild assumption to make so I would say you have almost certainly misunderstood. Most men, contrary to MN belief, are not constantly dreaming up ways to pick fights with their wives.

I’d be bad tempered too after treading in fox poo. Just let it go …

Personally I don't think its that bad in an argument. Both me and my DP might say that but we'd both apologise later, but probably without making too big a deal out of it. Your feelings are valid though, might be worth exploring with others

Put a mat at a different angle or cut one down that will fit in whatever bit of space there is.

get a doormat