To be really upset about how DH just spoke to me??

[Chimney1]

The backstory sounds a bit weird, but anyway!!

I got rid of our back doormat about 6 months ago. There isn’t really space for one by the door as it interferes with being able to push the stools out at our breakfast bar. The backdoor isn’t used much in winter anyway, and in summer, I’ll just deal with cleaning the area.

DH is upset about this as thinks we need the mat. Today, he was outside and came in the backdoor and stepped in something (fox poo we think) and walked it inside. DD noticed and I said “yuck” or something. I wasn’t saying that to him, just at the situation, if that makes sense.

DH went on a tirade about this is why we need a door mat. I explained that the doormat I got rid of would have been worse (jute material), as it would have been awful to clean. He was insistent that that’s what doormats are for and was really acting in a way I didn’t like. He said everyone on this planet would agree with him. I sort of laughed to try and keep it a jovial disagreement, to try to defuse things, and said that I didn’t agree. He then said “you’re such an idiot at times!!!!”

DH has never said something like this to me before. We have been married for 12 years. Although I didn’t really like how he was speaking to me last weekend either, just more forceful than usual with his point of view.

Im really upset. I don’t think I deserved that comment. Although DD had left the room, she may have still been in earshot. I said to DH “that’s a horrible way to speak to me. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” He said something back, which I now can’t remember. AIBU?

It doesn’t say this is the first issue in 6 months. And if there isn’t room for a door mat outside the back door then there isn’t room to take his shoes off out there

This is the major reason why I don't allow shoes to be worn inside my house.

Same here.

Just another lazy entitled man who should not be inconvenienced for any reason even his own children’s safety. Take your shoes off at the door you complete moron would have been my response.
And he totally did it on purpose. Honestly I do not know how women survive living with these men.

Have a no shoes in house rule

Walked fox shit in his house on purpose? Don’t be silly. Not everyone has a no shoes rule in the house. What an over the top post.

And all the man defenders out in force I see 😂 of course he can take his shoes off at the back door and move them elsewhere if they are in the way!!!

This is the thing isn't it?

They obviously don't have a shoes off rule in the house, otherwise the OP would've brought that up too.

No-one should be wearing shoes in this house if they apparently can't have a doormat inside or outside.

I’d rather clean shit off tiles/hard floor than soak and scrub it out of the fibres in a mat. If he did the cleaning he’d realise that too! That comment by him was stupid.
Outside mat or boot scraper is a good idea.
if the out bursts are new then perhaps something else is going on ? Extra stress at work or something?

Hahaha I refer you to my last post 😂

He sounds like a dick. Why would a mat inside with shit trodden into be better than a floor you can mop up? Dickhead.

Well you can buy machine washable ones now…

Oh God, you're the reason OPs tie themselves up in knots with 'they' 'them' and 'their' aren't you? 🙄

Odd you didn't mention anything about 'women defenders'?

There is a few inches of gravel, and then grass. I wouldn’t put an outdoor mat on grass.

Absolutely. Fox poo stinks so bad and if there’s any chance of this in house I’d definitely stop anyone wearing shoes.

A slab outside your back door with a door mat on is hardly investing in the house for goodness sake.🙄

I wouldn’t put an outdoor mat on grass.

Why not?

Chuck a bit of plastic down first if you must.

You're coming across as quite strange whenever anyone suggests a very simple solution.

If's 'thread worthy' for several reasons. This is MN, a chat site, there are very few rules around who can start a thread & just how 'deep' it needs to be. The situation has upset the OP, why shouldn't she start a thread (though I suspect the poor thing is regretting it now. Relationships would have been better than the (now) cesspit of AIBU)

Try reading the OP's posts & you'd learn why a mat there, in their house, is NOT a good idea.

nog to mention the fact that cleaning a hard floor is easier & more hygienic than trying to clean fix poo off a mat.

Seems you’re just looking for reasons to avoid the sensible solution of a door mat! It’s a rather silly argument really. Common sense is to either remove shoes or get a doormat

How on earth did you conclude that?

None of that. Get a doormat. Stop being an idiot.

Buy a boot scrubber if you don't have the space for a full outdoor mat. They take up way less space and are more practical when you stand in things.

I must admit that did give me a good laugh earlier.

It's hard to know what goes on in some people's heads when we're all reading the same thread.

yes it did.

The thing is, it’s been such a non issue for these whole 6 months. Only one issue in all that time (today)."

and of course he can remove his footwear before coming in the house, he doesn't need anymore space than where he was standing

I don't think it's about the doormat.

I think OP is concerned that her DP was aggressive to her and his attitude implies he doesn't like her very much.

There is clear resentment there that OP has done something he doesn't like, for her own good reasons.

I'm sorry OP, in retrospect this was the beginning of the end of my relationship when my ex started to complain about things I'd done or imagined I'd done or not done, including complaining to DC. It may seem minor to others, but it's frightening to realise the person you live with, who's supposed to have your back, to give you the benefit of the doubt, starts to think you make their life worse not better.

Maybe time to consider where he is in that balance for yourself?