Can you work nights with no childcare?

[Pixieknowle]

Due to recently losing my job we had to let our nanny go. It was extremely expensive and stressful as she became unreliable which led to me losing my job. I don’t want to employ another nanny.

My children are just under 2 and 5 and my husband works long hours and can’t do any drop offs / pick ups. He also would not be able to help if either child was sick etc. This is just how it is, he earns very well but in a cut throat industry. This won’t ever change.

Im reluctant to put the little one in nursery and start a new job at the same time, she’s been quite sickly as it is and I know for sure she will get sick at a new nursery this time of year which wont be compatible with starting a new job

I have been looking at night work, leaving after bedtime and home before my husband leaves. Can I look after a 2 year old and after school and work a night shift too? The pay is minimum wage so really not worth it if I have to pay for childcare (we don’t qualify for any funded childxare)

I wouldn't do it op, my husband is a high earner and I'm only just going back to work part time now my child is at full time school. There was absolutely no point in my doing it earlier because I will earn very little and we would have spent my entire wage on childcare

No need to be sorry to me. I think you misunderstood my post.

Thank you everyone it’s been enlightening!

Its all a me problem, my husband is supportive

It’s nice to hear of some others who haven’t worked whilst kids were young. It feels like everyone around me is working to the max and I just feel so guilty not having a job but I think you are right and there is little point until we at least get the 15 hours in a year or so.

You are contributing!! You are bringing up children and running the home! Why on earth would you feel guilty?

You cannot work more than 3 nights per week because it's exhausting.
You will likely SLEEP FROM 11 am to 3:30. .....this is do - able. Daytime sleep is not so long because it's unnatural to sleep during the day.

Contributions to a relationship are not only financial though.

@Pixieknowle Well done for coming to your senses!!

Maybe treat yourself to some therapy to work on what you’ve identified.

All the best!

If your husband is free on a Friday evening or weekends to have your 2 year old then go for it. You could get some sleep and have money for you.

Just to add to my earlier comments, I wouldn't rule out nursery now though. My daughters did two mornings a week from 18 months old. I moved it to two full days a week when they were 3 and three days a week the January before they went to school. I went back to work when they were in infant school!

It is nice to have your own money (I'd encourage it) but do something that you can switch your phone off for!!!

I think I said this before up thread - but please please don't under estimate your value. You are enabling your husband to work in a high earning job without worrying about his child in the day. As a single mum - I paid a lot for this so I could work. YOu are making a priceless contribution to your marriage. Work at the right time for you because you want to for yourself and you can organise childcare x

I think you would be sensible to trh to keep working, in spite of your husband's earnings, as you could end up in a rubbish situatiin if the marriage breaks down. However, working nights and not sleeping is not a good idea as you may not be safe to drive or look after a 2 year old. As someone else has suggested, training as childminder could be a great option as your husband is away a lot so having kids around would not be an issue. There is always a shortage too so you would be in demand.

Last week I ended up having to work to a very urgent deadline and as a consequence had only 4 hours sleep, then had to do a completely normal further working day the next day plus pre / post school childcare. I was a wreck - felt so irritable and cranky. I was OK for a few hours in the morning but by mid afternoon my eyes felt sore, I looked like shit and I just didn't want anyone to speak to me or ask anything of me. I snapped at my DP and our daughter. The end of the day felt like an absolute slog to the finish line - just trying to get everything done before I could pass out at 8.45pm! I wouldn't have felt safe to drive if I had to on 4 hours sleep. No one would regularly and intentionally wish to feel like that!! It may ruin your relationships with those around you.